
e’s School 
wtainmei 


No. 4 


BY H D. CASTLE 


FLANAGAN COMP 
PUBLISHERS 

CHICAGO 
























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CASTLE’S 


School Entertainments 
No. 4. 


COMPRISING 


Recitations, Dialogues, Concert Recitations, 
Drills, Charades, Etc. 


MUCH OF WHICH WAS WRITTEN EXCLUSIVELY 
FOR THIS WORK 



A. FLANAGAN COMPANY 
Chicago. New York. 




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two Oopias rtecavea 

INUV M 190 $ 
Qopyngni mry 

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Copyright, 1905 

BY 

A. FLANAGAN COMPANY 








CONTENTS 


o 

<s. 


RECITATIONS FOR PRIMARY GRADES. 

PAGE 


At School and At Home. Elizabeth L. Gould . 4S 

An Old Time Favorite. John Kendrick Bangs . 11 

An Ill Wind that Blew Somebody Good. 16 

Boy’s Composition on Breathing, A. SO 

Bride, The . 9 

Boy Who Lost His Clothes, The. Ethel M. Colson .. 24 

Be Safe. Arthur J. Burdick . 27 

Behind the Times. Elizabeth Lincoln Gould . 17 

Boy’s Composition on Pants. 38 

Best. E. H. Thomas . 51 

Catnip Tea, A. Vida A. Hamilton . 21 

Conspiracy, A. Adelbert F. Caldwell . 42 

Careful Doll, The. Laura Spencer Porter . 29 

Days Occupation, A. Delia Hart Stone . 51 

Eight and Nine. 57 

Easter Eggs. Harriet D. Castle . 7 

Freddy’s Professions. Montrose J. Moses . 2$ 

Family History. Success . 20 

For Grandpa. Gertrude Morton Cannon . 31 

For Grandma. Harriet D. Castle . 35 

Frown and a Smile, A. Theodosia P. Garrison . 47 

Happy Accident, A. 10 

Hero Exposed, A. 41 

Home Measurements . 39 

How Mamma Helped. f9 

His Rent Was Paid..-. 42 

His Geography. Cora Gaskill Alberger . 36 

Lightning Express, The. Anna M. Pratt . 2'9 

Little Helper, A. Elizabeth Lincoln Gould . 20 

Little Lou. Francis E. Clark .. 13 

—Little Boy Blue. E. A. Matthews . 18 

Little Prisoners. Ethel M. Colson . 43 

Little Willie’s Happy Days. . S. E. Kiser . 45 

Little Albert On Corporal Punishment. 52 

Little Tommy’s Dark Outlook. 53 

Morning Thought, A. Hannah G. Fernald . 33 

Mathematics. Thomas Tapper . 16 





































iv CONTENTS 

PAGE 

Mrs. Wasp and Mrs. Bee. 55 

New Baby, The. 26 

Piece, A. Harriet D. Castle . 8 

Polly’s Play . 46 

Query. Edwin L. Sabin . 19 

Robby’s Teacher. Elizabeth Lincoln Gould . 23 

Retort Courteous, A. D. Lummis . 46 

Song Of Saturdays, A. 39 

Strange Cat Tale, A. CaroyIn Wells . 14 

Squirrel’s Arithmetic, The. ( The Normal Instructor) . .34 

Sun And Stars. 28 

Shy . 37 

Such A Sad Affair. E. A. Matthews . 37 

Shoemaker Man. Arthur J. Burdick . 38 

Tossing For It. 13 

Two Days. Ethel M. Colson . 32 

Two Kinds of People. Ella Wheeler Wilcox . 34 

— Three Hundred And Sixty-Five. 36 

Watch, The . 54 

Work And Play. Eben E. Rexford . 9 

Watch The Corners. Lulu Linton . 11 

What Uncle Willie Thinks. Roy F. Green . 14 

Warning. St. Nicholas . 15 

What Can I Do About It? Ethel M. Colson . 15 

Well Founded. Elizabeth B. Brownell . 17 

Willie’s Exercise. E. G. Harper . 49 

-'When Bedtime Comes. Mary Marshall Parks . 50 

When It Comes Night. Cora Lapham Hazard . 54 

What Tommy Takes. Elizabeth Lincoln Gould _ 56 

EXERCISES FOR PRIMARY GRADES. 

Cure For Measles, A. Harriet D. Castle . 59 

Educational Ghosts. Harriet D. Castle . 81 

Fairies’ Tea, The. Priscilla Leonard . 77 

Good Night. Harriet D. Castle . 103 

Housewife’s Part, The. Susie M. Best . 61 

President of the School Board. Harriet D. Castle. .. 92 

Primary Butterflies. Harriet D. Castle . 58 

Seven Sleepers, The. Adelbert F. Caldwell . 79 

Signs. Harriet D. Castle . 67 





































CONTENTS 


v 


PAGE 

Staying Out Late. Mary B. Dimond . 70 

Thanksgiving Acrostic, A. C. E. Jordan . 65 

Tardy Tim. Harriet D. Castle . 65 

Two Points of View. A. B. Carr . 68 

Ten Little Cupids. Harriet D. Castle . 72 

Two Points of View. E. M. C . 76 

Warning, The. E. S. A . 71 

Which One Was Right?..... 63 

What Grandma Said. Harriet D. Castle . 74 

Wouldn’t That Be Best? Constance M. Lowe . 77 

RECITATIONS FOR INTERMEDIATE GRADES. 

Boys . 133 

Flag-Day, For—June 14. Lettie Sterling . 119 

“G”. Sidney Dayre . 130 

Gab. Holman F. Day . 137 

Hard-Work Plan, The. Jonathan Jones . 140 

Johnny’s Pa. Baltimore American . 105 

Just A Minute. Answers . 132 

Little Yankee Doodle. Harriet D. Castle . 104 

Little Walter’s Pa As a Driver. S. E. Kiser . 109 

Mental Family Tree, A. Ethelwyn Witherald . 113 

Mum Family, The. Arthur J. Burdick . 106 

My School-Day Friends. Nixon Watermann . 110 

Mistress And Maid. Florence N. Wright . 142 

Nobility. Alice Cary . 139 

Old Mill Pond, The. Arthur J. Burdick . 117 

Poor Town To Live In, A. Adelbert F. Caldwell .... 144 

Pretty Soon and By-And-By. 112 

Problems For The Fourth. Wilfred E. Knollys . 121 

Skeleton at the Feast, The. Eben E. Rexford . 124 

Squirrel’s Philosophy, The. 128 

Twins. Persis Gardiner . 107 

Timothy Brown. Eric Parker . 123 

Uncle Bill. W. C. Pierce . 114 

Vacation Song. A. M. K . 118 

Vain Little Dandelions. Harriet D. Castle . 125 

Wish Of The Small Boy, The. Aloysius Coll . 126 

Willy Nilly. Harriet D. Castle.. . 129 

When Thomas Takes His Pen. Elsie Hill . 134 












































vi 


CONTENTS 


DIALOGUES, PANTOMIMES, ETC., FOR 
INTERMEDIATE GRADES. 

PAGE 

On A Dry-Goods Box (Dialogue). Harriet D. Castle. 145 
Three Queens (Dialogue with Songs). Harriet D. 

Castle . 155 

When Mother Goose Taught School (Reading and 

Pantomime). Harriet D. Castle . 148 

TEMPERANCE RECITATIONS. 

Crimson Ballot, The. Frank A. Marshall . 168 

Put On The Brake. George Clay Lloyd . 172 

Temperance Ship, The. John G. Whittier . 177 

Voting vs. Resolving. J. W. Rowe . 174 

When Daddy Comes Home. W. C. Pierce . 167 

TEMPERANCE EXERCISES. 

Knotty Problem, A. Harriet D. Castle . 178 

Mother’s Appeal, The. A. A. Hopkins . 171 

Our Rights. Harriet D. Castle . 165 

RECITATIONS FOR HIGHER GRADES. 

Ballad of Elizabeth Zane, The. Mary E. Blake . 197 

Calf Path, The. 8. W. Foss . 190 

Flag On Every School House, A. Col. J. A. Joel . 212 

Farmer Stebbins at the Bat. Will Carleton . 202 

Happy Philosopher, A. Roy Farrell Greene . 195 

His Mother’s Songs. 200 

In The Heart Of The Woods. Margaret E. Sangster. 192 

Making School Pleasant. McE . 233 

Moravian Death-Hymn, The. Theron Brown . 183 

Men Of Gloucester, The. Laura E. Richards . 208 

My Chum Teddy. Malcolm Douglas . 180 

Rappahannock, The. C. H. C . 186 

Reading The President’s Message. 193 























Castle’s School Entertainments 

No. 4. 


RECITATIONS FOR PRIMARY GRADES 


EASTER EGGS 


For a Small Boy. 

My papa says the rabbits lay 
The eggs, so bright and gay, 
Those perfectly just splendid ones 
We find on Easter Day. 

He said Fd better mention it 
To some wise bunny, though, 
That I would like to have some. 

Or perhaps they wouldn’t know. 

I looked for that wise bunny 
Down in the pasture lot, 

The garden and the orchard 





castle’s school entertainments 


And almost every spot. 

I found him in the orchard, 

Just squatting down, one day: 

I raised my hat, politely, 

And was just a going to say, 

“Sir, will you bring some Easter eggs? 

And please to make them gay:. 

Those red, green, striped and spotted ones 
You cunning rabbits lay—” 

When, don’t you think, that rabbit 
Just up and ran away! 

His cotton tail went bobbing 
At every jump he’d make. 

S’pose the cotton is to line the nest 
So Easter eggs won’t break. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


A PIECE 


They say that I must speak a piece, 
So listen, for a minute. 

T speak for a big piece of pie 
With lots of raisins in it. 


—Harriet D. Castle. 




castle’s school entertainments 


9 


THE BRIDE 


Little girl wears ladies’ white apron for veil. Carries 
large bouquet, “bows head low and speaks very slow.’’ 

My big sister May 
Got married one day, 

And this is the way 
She held her boqnet. 

She wore her veil so 
And bent her head low, 

And speaked very slow, 

Cause why? I don’t know. 


WORK AND PLAY 


The boys were waiting in the road 
For Joe to come and play; 

“We’d like to know what keeps you so,” 
Impatiently cried they; 

“We’ve waited nearly half an hour. 

Do hurry, Joe,” they cried. 

“I’ll be there—when my work is done; 
Not till then,” he replied. 

“Come on, come on, the work can wait,” 
They urged, “till by and by.” 

“It might, of course, but I don’t think 
It will,” was his reply. 





10 castle’s school entertainments 

“When I’ve a task to do, I like 
To do it right away; 

Work first, my father says, then fun; 

And what he says, I say.” 

Hurrah for Joe! Such talk as that 
Is what I like to hear, 

But many boys will not agree 
With Joe and me, I fear. 

Play first, and last, and all the time 
Would suit most boys, I know; 

But that, I’m very glad to say, 

Is not the way with Joe. 

When you’ve a task to do, my boys, 

Don’t put it off, and say 
You’ll do it, when you’ve had your fun; 

But do it right away. 

This “putting off” soon forms, my lads, 

A habit to deplore; 

Who promptly does his work enjoys 
His pleasure all the more. 

—Eben E. Rcxford, in Golden Days. 


A HAPPY ACCIDENT 


Pa he sat down on ma’s old hat— 

Pa’s big around and wide and fat— 

And when he saw what he had done 
He rose and seemed to want to run, 

But ma, she grabbed it with a smile 
And said: “Land sakes! It’s just the style.” 




castle’s school entertainments 11 

WATCH THE CORNERS 

When you wake up in the morning of a chill and 
cheerless day 

And feel inclined to grumble, pout or frown, 

Just glance into your mirror anc] you will quickly see 

It’s just because the corners of your mouth turn 
down. 

Then take this simple rime, 

Remember it in time, 

It’s always dreary weather in countryside or town 

When you wake and find the corners of your mouth 
turned down. 

If you wake up in the morning full of bright and 
happy thoughts 

And begin to count the blessings in your cup, 

Then glance into your mirror and you will quickly 
see 

It’s all because the corners of your mouth turn up. 

Then take this little rime, 

Remember all the time, 

There’s joy a-plenty in this world to fill life’s cup 

If you’ll only keep the corners of your mouth turned 
up. —Lulu Linton . 


AN OLD-TIME FAVORITE 


I do not want a puppy-dog, although I know they’re 
nice, 

For my papa can romp with me in ways that quite 
suffice. 




12 


castle’s school entertainments 


He’ll bark just like a St. Bernard, and like a mastiff 
growl, 

And you would feel like laughing when he imitates 
its howl. 

I do not want a pussy-cat. I like cats pretty well, 

But daddy heats them all, and plays better than I 
can tell. 

He’ll purr and siss like anything; his miauing you 
should hear. 

It makes more noise than any cat, and oh, I shake 
with fear. 

I do not want a pony small. Of course they’re lots 
of fun, 

But what’s the use of ponies when your my dear 
daddy’s son? 

He takes me on his shoulders broad, or puts me on his 
knees, 

And sets me off a-galloping as madly as you please. 

In short I. don’t want anything as long as daddy’s 
here. 

He’s pretty much of everything, and don’t get out 
of gear. 

And best of all the things boys have, I’m sure you’ll 
find it true, 

There’s nothing like a daddy that will always play 
with you! 

—John Kendrick Bangs. 


castle’s school entertainments 

TOSSING FOR IT 


13 


Jim Jolly met a bull one day— 

He said, “Say Mr. Bull, 

Shall I go out to-day and play, 

Or shall I go to school?” 

The bull looked wise, and thought a bit; 

And then he said, “Let’s toss for it!” 

So far into the air he tossed— 

And this was how Jim Jolly lost. 

When he got down, he thanked the bull 
And ever after went to school. 


LITTLE LOU 


Very Neat Little Boy. 

“Don’t wash my face!” begged little Lou. 

“It hurts where pussy scratched it—oo! 

“Don’t wash my hands; they’re chapped, you know. 
I cut that finger, too—oh! oh! 

“Don’t brush my hair!” sobbed little Lou. 

“I bumped my head to-day—boohoo! 

“Oh, please do stop!—that hurts! dear me!” 

But—this is how he came to tea. 

— Francis E. Clark. 





14 


castle's school entertainments 


WHAT UNCLE WILLIE THINKS 


Such foolishness I never saw 
As lately has come over maw, 

An’ almos had as her, my paw, 

But worse of all’s my brother-’n-law! 

I hast to keep as still’s a mouse 
When I go down to sister’s house, 

Er else I’ll wake that “preshus dove” 

The kid that I’m the uncle of! 

He jus’ arrived last week one day— 

I’d lief as not he’d stayed away 
Till I got big, ’cause now, ye see, 

The figs an’ things Sis buys for me 
Why, he’ll git big enough to eat! 

Maw says: “Now, Willie, ain’t he sweet?” 

I wonder if they ’spect I’ll love 
That kid, that I’m the uncle of? 

He never says a thing but “goo!” 

Jes’ think—an’ he’s my neffew, too! 

An’ once they gave me him to hold— 

They act as tho they think he’s gold! 

He ain’t my style I’d have ’em know. 

An’ nex’ time I’ll just tell ’em so, 

When off on me they try too shove 
That kid that I’m the uncle of! 

—Roy F. Green, in The National Magazine. 



castle’s school entertainments 


15 


WARNING 


My papa tells me, if I pout 

And keep my lips “all sticking out,” 

They’ll freeze that way some day, and then 
They never will unfreeze again. 

So, hoys and girls, you’d better try 
To be as full of fun as I; 

Then, if your face should freeze and stay, 
Your folks would love you anyway. 

—St. Nicholas. 


WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT? 


Can you find a heartache somewhere, do you know a 
soul that’s sad? 

Then hasten, little children, use speed to make them 
glad. 

For there’s always cares and sorrow, alas! we cannot 
doubt it, . 

And this is what we all should ask—what can I do 
about it? 

For it isn’t always big things that make the world 
seem bright, 

And that cause the happy feelings when the day turns 
into night; 

A trifle often makes us glad we were drear without 
it— 

And this is what we all should ask—what can I 
do about it? 





16 


castle’s school entertainments 


Don’t wait, dear little children, for chances grand and 
great. 

For they may never happen, so again I say don’t wait; 
Say every kindly word you can, yes, whisper, sing, or 
shout it, 

For this is what we all should ask—what can I do 
about it? —Ethel Maude Colson. 


MATHEMATICS 


Four times two, or one plus one. 

These are easy sums. 

The first means all my fingers, 

The second all my thumbs. 

But ten times two! Now there’s a sum 
Not every person knows. 

To find the answer, here’s the rule: 

Count fingers, thumbs and toes. 

—Thomas Tapper. 


AN ILL WIND THAT BLEW SOMEBODY 
GOOD 


When little Tom went out to sail, 

He leaned too far across the rail, 
And dropped his precious glasses! 
He saw them sink, but never knew 
That, sitting far beneath the blue, 
Where wave the long sea-grasses, 






castle’s school entertainments 


17 


There wept a little fish, because 
He could not go to school, he was 
So dreadfully near-sighted! 

When looking up, through tears that rose, 
He caught those glasses upon his nose, 

And wasn't he delighted! 

He clapped his little fins for glee 
That so much better he could see. 

And now, fulfilled his wishes, 

His little heart is light and gay, 

For off he went that very day 

And joined a school of fishes! 


WELL FOUNDED 


Jessie is a sweet girl, Jessie is a dear, 

Jessie came to my house to see if I was here. 

I went to Jessie's house, hut she wasn't there, 

So we looked for each other almost ev'rywhere. 
At last I founded Jessie, and Jessie founded me 
And we sat down together as happy as could he. 

—Elizabeth B. Brownell. 


BEHIND THE TIMES 


Some people’say the papers 
Have all the latest news, 
But Ethel's got a golf cape, 
And I've got tennis shoes 






18 castle’s school entertainments 

And balls, a net and racket— 

They came to us to-day 
From Uncle Bob in Boston. 

And yet our fam’ly say 
That in those sixteen pages, . 

Printed so close and fine, 

There’s not one single mention 
Of Ethel’s gift or mine! 

—Elizabeth Lincoln Gould. 


~ LITTLE BOY BLUE 


“Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,” 

Johnnie is cross to-day. 

“The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn,” 
Come help us drive them away. 

The cows and the sheep are the naughty thoughts, 
That wander through Johnnie’s heart, 

Little Boy Blue is the conscience that keeps 
A watch on these thoughts as they start. 

“Where is the boy that watches the sheep?” 

Johnnie is cross to-day. 

“He’s under the haystack, fast asleep”— 

Come, wake him up, I say! 


— E. A. Matthews. 




castle’s school entertainments 


19 


QUERY 


When eomp’ny comes to visit us 
We alius makes a lot o’ fuss, 

An’ uses our bestes’ china set 
An’ solid silver forks, you bet! 

An’ nothing is too nice to bake— 

Not custard pie ner angel-cake! 

It’s jest becuz they’re ’round! But say, 

Why ain’t we jes’ as good as they? 

Ma she puts on her dustly dress, 

An’ pa shaves twict a day, I guess, 

An’ shines his shoes, an’ I mus’ wear 
My Sunday red tie everywhere! 

We’re all polite as we can he, 

An’ no one’s cross er putcheky. 

It’s diff’rent when they’ve gone away— 

But ain’t we jes’ as good as they? 

I don’t see why the comp’ny is 
So better’n we ourselves—gee whiz! 

Er why we have to go and ’treat 

Them with a lot of stuff to eat 

That we don’t have when they ain’t here! 

What makes us save it up—oh, dear! 

Why don’t we alius live that way? 

Ain’t we worth things as much as they? 

— Ed. L. Sabin, in Woman's Home Companion. 



20 castle’s school entertainments 

A LITTLE HELPER 


“My father says I’m a great helper,” 

Said little Miss Dorothy Gay. 

“There’s just only us and our Bridget, 

So I have to work ev’ry day. 

On Monday I help do the washing 
By wiping the plates dry and bright, 

On Tuesday I help Bridget iron 
By folding the towels just right; 

On Wednesday I help do the mending 
By threading the needles up, fast, 

And Thursday I help clean the silver 
By counting it over at last; 

And Friday I help with the sweeping 
By dusting as hard as I can, 

And Sat’day I ’most do the baking 
By buttering every pan; 

And Sunday—well, Sunday, my father 
Says he doesn’t actu’ly know 
But he’d break right down in his sermon 
At meeting if I didn’t go!” 

—Elizabeth Lincoln Gould. 


FAMILY HISTORY 


“Can” and “Will” are cousins, dear, 
Who never trust to luck; 

“Can” is the child of “Energy,” 

And “Will” is the child of “Pluck.” 





castle’s school entertainments 


21 


“Can’t” and “Won’t” are cousins, too, 

Who are always out of work; 

For “Can’t” is the son of “Never Try,” 

And “Won’t” is the son of “Shirk.” 

In choosing your companions, then, 

Select both “Will” and “Can;” 

But turn aside from “Can’t” and “Won’t,” 

If you would be a man. 

— “Success.” 


A CATNIP TEA 


Miss Tabby had a visitor, 

A cat of high degree, 

So she issued invitations 

For a 5 o’clock “Catnip Tea.” 

Then every cat for blocks around - 
(I’m sorry to confess) 

Began to plan and wonder 

How they really should dress! 

Then on that sunny afternoon 
All up and down the street 
The cats came walking softly, 

And, 0, they looked so sweet! 

Miss Fluff was dressed in snowy white, 
Miss Kitty Kat in brown, 

Miss Manx, tho’ dressed so beautiful, 
Had no tail to her gown! 




22 castle’s school entertainments 

The robe of Mistress Tortoise Shell 

, Was wonderful to see; 

She told her very dearest friends 
“ ’Twas made in gay Paree.” 

Miss Tabby, all in black and white, 

Received her guests with ease; 

She introduced them to her friend, 

And tried her best to please. 

The guests around the table sat 
As happy as could be, 

And softly purred the latest news 
While they drank* catnip tea. 

While everything was lovely 
As anything could be 

A tiny little mouse stole in— 

A frightened mouse was he! 

Away flew guests and hostess, 

'Nor for one moment pause, 

Soft purrs are changed to sharp “meows” 

And velvet toes to claws. 

Poor mousie thought his time had come, 

But still he ran so fast 

He left Miss Tab and friends behind 
And reached his home at last. 

And when he tol.d his mother 
She laughed enough to split; 

She said Miss Tabbie’d be so mad 
She’d have a “catnip fit!” 

—Vida A. Hamilton . 


castle’s school entertainments 


23 


ROBBY’S TEACHER 


When Robby was at our house 
I heard my grandma say, 

“He has the prettiest manners 
Fve seen for many a day.” 

So then I went and asked him 
What made him so polite. 

I said, “I suppose somebody 
Is teaching you just right.” 

But Robbie said there wasn’t; 

He said his mother’s way 
Is just to smile, and make him 
Feel p’liter every day. 

—Elizabeth Lincoln Gould. 


FREDDY’S PROFESSIONS 


When I’m a man I’d like to be 
Something big and great: 

An admiral who lives at sea, 
Or governor of my state; 

I’d like to be an engineer, 

Who runs the State Express; 

I’d like to be a brigadier, 

And eat my meals at mess: 

I’d like to keep a candy store, 
Or write a book or two— 

About the countries I explore 
From here to Timbuktu; 





24 castle’s school entertainments 

And then I think it would be fine 
If I could—by and by— 

Be captain on a baseball nine, 

A Sampson, or a Schley. 

So now I think I ought to grow 
The quickest way I can; 

For what I’d really like, you know. 

Is first to be a man. 

But when I ask my Uncle James 
What he would most enjoy, 

He laughs at me, and then exclaims: 

“I’d like to be a boy!” 

—Montrose J. Moses, in St. Nicholas. 


THE BOY WHO LOST HIS CLOTHES 


He was a funny little boy, 

Who often lost his clothes, 

And when he had his coat and tie, 

Could seldom find his hose, 

And this was what we thought so queer— 
It gave us lots of fun— 

He never lost the things himself, 

As you’d have thought he’d done. 

No! Someone always “took” the cap 
He laid upon a chair, 

And someone “stole” the very shoes 
He wanted most to wear; 




castle’s school entertainments 


25 


He’d leave his rubbers in the hall 

(This happened every day), . • 

And when he turned his head again* 

' They’d vanished quite away. 

But one fine night he went to sleep, 

The way we always do, 

And dreamed a dream that made him think 
Of learning tactics new. 

He dreamed that, playing hide and seek, 

He climbed upon a shelf, 

And when t’was time to run for “free,” 

He found he’d lost himself! 

“You often lose your head, my son,” 

Said papa when he told, 

The story sad at breakfast-time 
(The while his milk grew cold), 

“But still to really lose yourself 
Would surely trying be, 

And how you’d find yourself again 
T really do not see!” 

And so it really seemed as if 
He’d better make a change, 

For fear the dream should “happen true,” 
With circumstances strange. 

And now he seldom loses things, 

Instead of every day, 

And when he lays his garments down 
They never fly away. 


—Ethel M. Colson. 


26 


castle’s school entertainments 


THE NEW BABY 


Yes’ I’ve got a little brother, 

Never asked to have him, nuther, 

But he’s here. 

They just went away and bought him, 

And, last week the doctor brought him, 
Weren’t that queer? 

When I heard the news from Molly, 

Why, I thought at first ’twas jolly, 

’Cause you see, 

I s’posed I could go and get him 
And then mamma, course, would let him 
Play with me. 

But when I had once looked at him 
“Why,” I says, “Great snakes, is that him? 
Just that mite!” 

They said “Yes.” and “ain’t he cunnin’?” 
And I thought they must be funnin’— 

He’s a sight! 

He’s so small, it’s just amazin’, 

And you’d think that he was blazin’, 

He’s so red. 

And his nose is like a berry, 

And he’s bald as Uncle Jerry 
On his head. 

Why, he isn’t worth a brick, 

All he does is cry and kick, 

He can’t stop. 



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27 


Won’t sit up, you can’t arrange him— 
I don’t see why pa don’t change him 
At the shop. 

Now we ve got to dress and feed him, 
And we really didn’t need him 
More’n a frog; 

Why’d they buy a baby brother 
When they know I’d a good deal ruther 
Have a dog? 


BE SAFE 


“ ’Tis safe,” says little Johnny Lee 
“To reckon every fly a bee; 

And be he bee or be he fly, 

’Tis surely safe to pass him by. 

“I saw one day, an insect I 
Supposed was just a common fly. 

I caught the creature on the wing 
And found that he possessed a sting. 

“Since that experience I 
Pass every buzzing insect by. 

I think it wiser, far,” said he, 

“Though it be a fly, to let it be.” 

—Arthur J. Burdick. 




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SUN AND STARS 


The sun had worked so hard all day 
That he was tired, and went to bed: 

“Fll send the youngsters out to play, 

Then I shall get some peace!” he said. 

So all the little stars went out, 

Like good, obedient little elves, 

Among the clouds to play about, 

And quietly amuse themselves. 

They played at “catch me if you can.” 
They played at “hide and seek” and “spy, 

And in the races that they ran, 

They chased the clouds all round the sky. 

But what the stars enjoyed the best 
Was peeping down to try to see 

The little children go to rest 
In snow-white beds^so happily! 

They crept, with soft and twinkling light, 
Through nurs’ry window-panes to peep, 

And tried to watch all through the night 
The little children fast asleep! 

And when the sun, at break of day, 

Awoke refreshed and rosy red, 

The little stars ran up to say 

How sweet the children looked in bed 

The great sun beamed: “My stars!” he said, 
“Fm off as fast as I can go; 

You saw the children put to bed, 

But I must wake them up you know!” 



castle’s school entertainments 29 

THE LIGHTNING EXPRESS 

Down grandmother’s banister rail 
Swift as the wind I slide, 

I’m the engineer 
That never knows fear, 

And I travel far and wide. 

Each time I rush up-stairs 

Grandmother cries, “Don’t fall!” 

When, whiz! I drop 
Without any stop 
Between Boston and Montreal. 

I hurry again to the top. 

Oh, my! it is such fun, 

For this is the train 
That’s flying from Maine 
And arriving at Washington. 

Once more I am off like a flash, 

To carry the New York mail. 

I am sure you would guess 
’Tis the lightning express 
On grandmother’s banister rail. 

—Anna M. Pratt. 


THE CAREFUL DOLL 


When Frances goes to bed at night 
Her dollies all go, too; 

They lie beside her very still, 




30 castle's school entertainments 

And sleep the whole night through; 

That is, the Paris doll and all 
The other fine ones do. 

But there’s one old and careful doll, 

Whose eyes stare open wide 
All night to see no harm comes near. 

She really takes a pride 
In sleeplessness. “What sleep?” she says, 

“I couldn’t if I tried!” 

—Laura Spencer Portor. 


A BOY S COMPOSITION ON BREATHING 


Breath is made of air. We breathe with our lungs, 

our lights, our liver, and our kidneys. If it wasn’t 
for our breath we would die while we slept. Our 
breath keeps the life a-going through the nose when 
we are asleep. Boys that stay in a .room all day should 
not breathe. They make carbonicide. Carbonicide 
is poisoner than a mad dog. A heap of soldiers was 
in a black hole in India, and a carbonicide got in 
that there hole and nearly killed every one a fore 
morning. 

Girls kill the breath with-corsets that squeeze their 
diagram. Girls can’t holler or run like hoys because 
their diagram is squeezed too much. If I was a girl 
I had rather he a boy, so I could run, holler, and row 
and have a great big diagram. 




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31 


GRANDPA 


My grandpa says that he was once 
A little boy like me. 

I s’pose he was; and yet it does 
Seem queer to think that he 
Could ever get my jacket on, 

Or shoes, or like to play 
With games and toys, and race with Duke, 
As I do every day. 

He’s come to visit us, you see. 

Nurse says I must be good 
And mind my manners, as a child 
With such a grandpa should. 

For grandpapa is straight and tall, 

And very dignified; 

He knows most all there is to know. 

And other things beside. 

So though my grandpa knows so much, 

I thought that maybe boys 
Were things he hadn’t studied, 

They make such awful noise. 

But when I asked at dinner for 
Another piece of pie, 

I thought I saw a twinkle in 
The corner of his eye. 

So yesterday when they went out 
And left us two alone, 

I was not quite so much surprised 
To find how nice he’d grown. 



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You should have seen us romp and run! 

My! now I almost see 
That pYaps he was, long, long ago, 

A little hoy like me. 

—Gertrude Morton Cannon. 


TWO DAYS AND THE WEATHER FOR 
MOLLIE AND JANE 


’Twas a beautiful day, 

With a sky so bright and a wind so gay 

That you couldn’t but skip as you went to school— 

Yet Mollie and Jane found the day too cool. 

For Mollie and Jane had quarreled, you see, 

And because they couldn’t, as usual, agree, 

The long, lonely hours dragged slowly away, 

And they thought it a “perfectly horrible day.” 

But just after luncheon they made up again, 

And kissed, and said they were sorry, and then 
The beautiful hours slipped by so fast, 

It was dinner time ere they parted, at last. 

Next morning it rained and the sky was dark, 

But each of the two felt as gay as a lark; 

So they skipped to school every step of the way, 

And were sure it was a “perfectly beautiful day.” 

—Ethel Maude Colson. 




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A MORNING THOUGHT 


I had a friend who stayed with me from early dawn 
till night, 

He did whatever a friend may do to make a child’s 
delight, 

He brought me many a pleasant gift, and many a 
lovely sight. 

But when the sun had gone to bed, and stars came 
out to play, 

Without a single parting word my comrade slipped 
away, 

And I shall never see him more—my good friend, 
Yesterday! 

Soon as I saw that he was gone, I wished some words 
unsaid 

That spoiled his sunny morning hours, some fretful 
tears unshed, 

Some naughty frowns wiped all away, and smiles 
put in instead. 

And when I woke this morning, I felt so glad to see 

Another friend, all rosy-bright, was waiting here for 
me; 

I mean to keep him just as gay and happy as can be! 

No frowns and tears shall vex him in the little while 
he’ll stay, 

And when the twilight comes at last, and he must run 
away, 

I’ll bid him cheerily, “Farewell, dear, pleasant friend. 
To-day!” —Hannah G. Fernald. 



34 castle’s school entertainments 

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE 


No; the two kinds of people on earth I mean, 

Are the people who lift and the people who lean. 

Wherever you go you will find the world’s masses 
Are always divided in just these two classes. 

And oddly enough, you will find, too, I ween, 
There is only one lifter to twenty who lean. 

In which class are you? Are you easing the load 
Of overtaxed lifters who toil down the road? 

Or are you a leaner, who lets others bear 
Your portion of labor and worry and care? 

—Ella Wheeler Wilcox. 


THE SQUIRREL’S ARITHMETIC 


High on the branch of a walnut tree 
A bright-eyed squirrel sat; 

What was he thinking so earnestly? 
And what was he looking at? 

He was doing a problem o’er and o’er; 

Busily thinking was he 
How many nuts for his winter’s store 
Could he hide in the hollow tree. 

He sat so still on the swaying bough 
You might have thought him asleep: 
Oh, no; he was trying to reckon now 
The nuts the babies could eat. 





castle’s school entertainments 35 

Then suddenly he frisked about, 

And down the tree he ran; 

“The best way to do without a doubt, 

Is to gather all I can.” 

—The Normal Instructor. 


FOR GRANDMA 


Grandma’s hair is turning white; 

Once ’twas long and brown and bright; 
But gray hair is sweet and right 
For grandma. 

Grandma’s eyes are getting dim; 

Give the light another trim, 

Bring her glasses, read the diymn. 

For grandma. 

Whisper trials in her ear, 

She has always time to hear; 

Words of wisdom and of cheer 
For grandma. 

Tell her things that make you glad; 
Maybe she is feeling sad; 

Lonesome hours are always bad 
For grandma. 


—Harriet D. Castle. 




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— THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE 


A pout, a scowl, a cross word every day, 

A hateful act that chases joy away; 

Just think what a tremendous cloud they’d make, 
And from the year so much of sunshine take! 

A smile, a word of happiness each day, 

A deed of love ’twixt hours of work and play; 

Oh, think you what a splendid stock of cheer 
To scatter all around in one short year! 


HIS GEOGRAPHY 


Said little Ned, “The man who wrote 
This big geography 
Has surely made a great mistake 
To leave out little me. 

“Why, only think, as now I stand 
All toward my left is west; 

In front of me is north, and hack 
Is south, as you have guessed. 

“All on my right is east, and so 
’Tis very plain to see 
That north and east and west and south 
Begin right here with me. 

“So I must write and ask to have 
My picture pasted in, 

That other boys and girls may learn 
Where all these things begin.” 

—Cora Gaskill Alberger. 





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SHY 


The shyest little maid was she , 

And would not speak a word to me: 

I asked her age, inquired her name, 

But not the faintest answer came! 

I pleaded and I coaxed again, 

She shook her head, ? twas all in vain 
For not one word to my dismay, 

Could I induce the child to say. 

At last I cried: “Why I’m afraid 
You’ve lost your tongue, my little maid, 
And so you cannot talk to me! 

Dear, dear! where ever can it be ? ” 

Then suddenly a finger-tip 
Was laid upon a rosy lip: 

“Ah! Ah!” she said, with roguish smile, 
“It’s been in here just all the while!” 


SUCH A SAD AFFAIR 


“Oh, mamma, to-day a little girl 
Fell down and had such a fright, 

And every single scholar but one 
Just giggled and laughed outright 

‘ ‘ It was my sweet girlie that didn’t laugh, ’ ’ 
Said mamma—“I know it well.” 

With a twinkle, said Lucy, “Of course not, dear, 
For I was the girl that fell.” 


— E. A. Matthews. 





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BOY’S COMPOSITION ON PANTS 


Pants are made for men, and not for women. Worn- 

\ 

en are made for men and not for pants. When a man 
pants for a woman, and woman pants for a man, 
they are a pair of pants. Such pants don’t last. Pants 
are like molasses—they are thinner in hot weather 
and thicker in cold. Men are often mistaken in pants; 
such mistakes are breeches of promise. There has 
been much discussion whether pants is singular or 
plural. Seems to us when men wear pants it is plural, 
and when they don’t wear any pants, it is singular. 
Men go on a tear in their pants, and it is all right; 
but if your pants go on a tear it is all ’wrong. If 
you want to make pants last make the coat first. 

—Ex. 


SHOEMAKER MAN 


For a small boy with shoes, as described. 

Wobblety, cobblety, shoemaker man, 

Mend my wee shoes des as dood as oo can; 
Des ’tick a peg here and sew a seam vere, 

Rap vem and tap vem and make vem to wear. 

Wee ’ittle shoes vat mus’ run to an’ fro, 
Stich vem an’ fix vem an’ make vem to go; 
Put a heel here an’ put a patch vere 
Rap vem an’ tap vem and make vem to wear. 





castle’s school entertainments 39 

Yis ’ittle shoe has a hole in ve toe; 

Lets my wee tootsies peep out, does oo know; 
Lets ve cold in, an 5 lets out ve warm 
Patch it to keep my poor tootsies from harm. 
Vis ’ittle shoe has ve bottom weared out, 

Ve wet creeps in an’ve dry leaks out; 

So rap it an’ tap it dood as oo can, 

Wobblety, cobblety, shoemaker man. 

—Arthur J. Burdick. 


HOME MEASUREMENTS 

Sister measured my grin one day; 
Took the ruler and me; 

Counted the inches all the way— 
One and two and three. 

“Oh, you’re a Cheshire cat,” said she. 
Father said: “That’s no sin.” 

Then he nodded and smiled at me— 
Smiled at my three-inch grin. 
Brother suggested I ought to begin 
Trying to trim it down. 

Mother said: “better a three-inch grin 
Than a little half-inch frown.” 


A SONG OF SATURDAYS 

Sing a song of Saturdays, 

Band of fifty-two. 

Joining hands about the year, 
What a merry crew! 






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How they make the hours dance! 
How they shout with glee! 

Yes, the happy Saturday 
Is the day for me. 

Sing a song of Saturdays, 

Pearls upon a chain. 

Hung about the New-Year’s neck 
When she comes again. 

All among the other beads, 

Pink or blue or gray, 

How you love the shining gleam 
Of a Saturday! 

Sing a song of Saturdays, 

Roses in a wreath, 

Fifty-two so big and bright— 
Who would look beneath? 

Other days may be as green, 
Others bloom as fair. 

Yet a single Saturday 

We could never spare. 

Sing a song of Saturdays, 

Rests along the road; 

Here we halt to take a breath, 
Ease the weary load. 

Ho! Another mile-stone passed 
Toward the goal we seek. 

Then, refreshed, we travel on 
For another week. 


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41 


A HERO EXPOSED 


I used to think my pa was great: 

The way he talks to ma 
You'd think he was the wisest man 
A body ever saw. 

In every fight he ever had 
The other chaps got licked— 

They always tumbled just as though 
A mule had up and kicked. 

He’s seen a lot of splendid sights 
And been most everywhere, 

But still I guess he's not so much— 
He never killed a bear! 

At school he used to beat them all 
When they stood up to spell, 

And wunst he broke his collar hone 
By failin’ in a well 
The other hoys got jealous when 
Him and the girls would meet; 

In every game he ever played 
My pa was sure to heat— 

He's been a legislature, too, 

The people sent him there, 

But still I guess he's not so much, 

He never killed a bear! 

My pa he made himself, because 
I’ve heard him sa}dn' so, 

And that’s no easy job. The Lord 
Made other folks you know. 



42 castle’s school entertainments 

He’s been to Californyou, and 
He’s been in Europe, too; 

He’s been in war a-fightin’ for 
The old red, white and blue. 

If you could hear him talkin’, oh 
I’ll bet you’d sit and stare— 

But still I guess he’s not so much, 

He never killed a bear! 


HIS RENT WAS PAID 


' Boy: 

Hello, Mr. Groundhog, please stick your head out 
And say how-de-do to a friend. 

Just send me a message by any old route 
And tell me when winter will end. 

The Groundhog: 

Don’t take off your underclothes yet for a spell, 
Nor hurry your garden to spade; 

I’ll not venture out for a month yet, for—well, 
Four weeks more my room rent is paid. 


A CONSPIRACY 

When little Alice Aimless sighed because she had to 
work— 

Just to wash the dishes then to ’tend the bread— 
Instead of making patchwork for her tiny dolly’s 
crib. 






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43 


Her scissors, needle and the spool of thread 

Declared they’d not work for her—let her see how 
good ’twould seem, 

For once, and then they said they guessed she’d know 

It isn’t always pleasant when mamma wants some¬ 
thing done. 

For her child to fret just ’cause she wished to sew! 

Accordingly the scissors “cut up” in awful style, 

The thread just snarled in—oh, a dreadful way; 

The needle wouldn’t use its eye—a grave .conspiracy! 

And Alice had a very vrretched day. 

“I wonder if I act like them when I am asked to 
work; 

I’m ’fraid I do”—her face blushed rosy red. 

“I think the lesson’s done her good, so we are sat¬ 
isfied”— 


And scissors, thread and needle danced off happily 
to bed. 


—Adelbert F. Caldwell. 


LITTLE PRISONERS 


I know some little prisoners who never get quite free 
Except when all the pleasant world is sunny as can 
be; 

When skies are blue and winds are soft and flow¬ 
ers are blooming gay, 

And all the children have to do is just to run and 

play. 




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Then out they come, these happy things that love 
to stretch and grow, 

And round and round the soft green lawn they gayly 
prance and go 

Until its time for dinner, tea, or else to go to bed; 

Then they splash in clear cold water till they’re glow¬ 
ing, rosy red. 

Now I wonder could you guess it, what we call these 
prisoners ten? 

Well, I’ll give you just a good big hint—I’ll whisper 
it—and then 

You’ll surely tell me quickly, or you can if you 
should choose:— 

I use them when I’m walking, and they live inside 
my shoes. 

—Ethel M. Colson. 


A STRANGE CAT TALE 


An Angora cat sat quietly in his home, 

Combing his long hair with a catacomb. 

Then, lest he should suffer from dampness or fog, 
He threw on his fire another catalog. 

Next he took a catsup from his pewter ladle, 

Then shook up his caterpillar in his cat’s-cradle. 
He tied ’neath his chin his ruffled nightcap, 

And curled himself up for a happy cat-nap. 

—Carolyn Wells. 




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LITTLE WILLIE’S HAPPY DAYS 


“Good morning, world, how are you?” 

Sometimes that’s what I say 
When I look out the window 
And night’s gone far away, 

And sometimes there’s a robin 
Out there that turns his head 
As though it understood me 
And smiled at what I said. 

Sometimes I get to dreaming 
I’m falling down somewhere, 

Or that I’m in a corner, 

Surrounded by a bear, 

And, oh, I guess it’s pleasant 
- To wake up then and say: 

“Hello, old world, good morning, 

You feeling well to-day?” 

“Good morning, world, how are you?” 

When boys get up and shout 
Then gladly from the window 
It scares their troubles out. 

When I forget to say it 

There’s nothing that goes right— 

I guess the world can’t like it 
And has to show its spite. 

My papa taught it to me, 

And when I get up glad 
And look outside and say it, 

There’s nothing that goes bad! 



46 castle’s school entertainments 

So hurry to the window 
When you wake up and say: 

“Hello, old world, good morning, 

You pretty well to-day ?” 

—Y. E. Kiser. 


POLLY’S PLAY 

For little girl with thimble, needle and sock. 

I deck my middle finger in a silver helmet bright, 
And play my darning needle is a little tiny spear; 
And then, you see, I make believe to sally forth and 
fight 

These great, big, monstrous, giant holes in papa’s 
stockings here. — -H. E. T. 


A RETORT COURTEOUS 


I’d explained to him over and often 
What a good little boy should be; 
How temper and tumult to soften, 
And naughty ways to flee. 

He listened, mute and quiet, 

With earnest eyes of blue, 

Then: “I don’t fink I’ll try it. 

I’d rawer be like you!” 


— D. Lummis. 





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A FROWN AND A SMILE 


Such a silly little, foolish little, naughty little 
frown— 

Too small to do the slightest harm, you’d think, 
Yet the naughty little frown frowned the nursery 
pleasure down, 

And made a pleasant room as black as ink. 

Nurse scolded—Jamie sighed— 

Kitten ran and baby cried— 

(You scarcely can believe it, but it’s true,) 
Every smile was blotted out 
With that naughty frown about— 

Just think how much a little frown can do! 

Such a pleasant little, happy little, jolly little smile— 

Too small to do the slightest good, you’d say, 

Yet that happy little smile kept the nursery all the 
while 

As cheerful as the sunshine and as gay. 

Nurse was singing like a bird— 

Baby cooed and kitten purred— 

(You scarcely can believe it, but it’s true,) 
Everywhere that small smile went 
It brought pleasure and content— 

Just think how much a little smile can do! 

—Theodosia P. Garrison. 



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AT SCHOOL AND AT HOME 


My teacher doesn’t think I read 
So very special well: 

She’s always saying: “What was that' 

Last word?” and makes me spell 
And then pronounce it after her, 

As slow as slow can be. 

“You’d better take a little care”— 

That’s what she says to me— 

“Or else I’m really ’fraid you’ll find, 

Some one of these bright days, 

You’re way behind the primer class.” 

That’s what my teacher says. 

But when I’m at my grandpa’s house. 

He hands me out a book, 

And lets me choose a place to read; 

And then he’ll sit and look 
At me, and listen, just as pleased! 

I know it from his face. 

And when I read a great, long word, 

He’ll say: “Why, little Grace, 

You’ll have to teach our deestrict school, 

Some one of these bright days! 

Mother, you come and hear this child.” 

That’s what my grandpa says. 

—Elizabeth L. Gould, in St. Nicholas. 



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49 


WILLIE’S EXERCISE 


Father says for exercise 
Wood-sawing can’t be beat: 

He says these modern “systems” 

Are a misleading cheat. 

Ev’ry day when school is done 
And I would like to play, 

I first must take my exercise 
In this old-fashioned way. 

S’pose its bound, as father says. 

To keep one well and stout— 

But wish he’d share with me its good 
He always talks about. 

— E. G. Harper . 


HOW MAMMA HELPED 


When first I went to public school I couldn’t count 
a bit, 

And “class in: number work” each day, oh! how I 
hated it. 

But mamma found a lovely plan, it helped me such 
a lot! 

And now I count whole heaps of things; I’ve never 
once forgot. 





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This is the way that we begin: One unit, that 
means me, 

And two brings in the baby; add mamma, and there’s 
three; 

Then next we take up papa, he makes the list count 
four, 

And so we keep on reckoning for half an hour or 
more. 

My teacher says its wonderful, the way I learn each 
day; 

She doesn’t know that mamma makes home number 
work like play. 

But you just try it sometime, when school work seems 
hard and strange, 

And I’m sure you’ll think as I do, that it makes a 
lovely change. 


^WHEN BEDTIME COMES 


Just when I’m having such good times 
I never had before, 

With all my playthings spread around 
On table, chairs and floor; 

When its dusk behind the sofa back 
And black dark under the stair, 
And I wonder what strange animals 
Perhaps are lurking there; 

And think I’ll go a-hunting them, 

And begin to clean my gun, 

Then mamma shuts her book and says, 
“It’s bedtime, son.” 




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51 


Outside the window by my crib 
I see the sky all red, 

Where the poor old sun, like me, I s’pose, 

Has been carried off to bed. 

He never sees the fireflies dance, 

Or hears the whippoorwill; 

He never sees the rockets dart 
Straight up from Signal Hill; 

He never sees the wee star eyes 
Wink open, one by one. 

I wonder now who says to him, 

“It’s bedtime, sun/’ 

—Mary Marshall Parks. 


BEST 


When all across the dimpled pond 
The little laughing breezes blow, 

And in the cat-tails just beyond 
The summer sun is sinking low, 

The swallows then in airy flight 
Along the sparkling waters go, 

And dip their feathers blue and bright, 

And softly twitter to and fro, 

“Tweet, weet! Sweet, sweet! Oh, who is so free, 
So cheery, so happy, so blithe as we? 

For of all the most delightful things 
The very best is a pair of wings.” 




52 castle’s school entertainments 

When all across the frozen pond 

The merry, roaring north winds blow, 

And from the leafless woods beyond 
The winter moon is rising slow, 

The children then like swallows light 
Go wheeling, whirling to and fro 
Along the ice that sparkles bright 
With frosty jewels all aglow. 

And they laugh and shout and sing for glee, 

“No summer bird is so glad as we! 

And better than wings for us merry mates 
Is a pair of sharp and shiny skates! ’ ’ 

— E. H. Thomas. 


LITTLE ALBERT ON CORPORAL 
PUNISHMENT 

Sometimes when I’ve been very bad, 

My mother looks at me, 

And I can see she’s just as sad 
As ever she can be, 

And then she says: “To-night I’ll tell 
Your father what you’ve done; 

When he comes home he’ll whip you well!”— 
And then I want to run 
About a thousand miles away, 

Or else drop out of sight— 

It’s awful waitin’ round all day 
To catch it hard at night. 




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53 


A boy can’t always just be good 
Or always act just so. 

Or always say just what he should, 
Without mistakes, you know. 

If I’d a little boy like me 
And I was big and strong 
I’d let him off sometimes when he 
Just happened to do wrong; 

I don’t like whipping anyway, 

I don’t believe its right, 

But worst of all’s to wait all day 
For one you’ll get at night. 


LITTLE TOMMY’S DARK OUTLOOK 


My maw, she’s wearin’ glasses, and paw, he’s got ’em, 
too, 

And sister Maud she has ’em and so does Hatty Loo; 

I guess they must be catchin’; most everyone you 
see— 

The boys and girls and old folks—must wear ’em, 
seems to me. 

Sometimes my eyes feel tired when I have read a lot, 

And they get kind of smarty round the edge, and 
hot, 

But I don’t tell nobody, for if I did, you see, 

I s’pose they’d take paw’s glasses and hand them 
down to me. 




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I’m wearing his old trousers—of course they cut ’em 
down; 

My shirt was maw’s old wrapper; I wear Maud’s old 
night gown; 

The girls must have the new things to ketch the 
beaux, you see— 

I s’pose if I’d need glasses they’d hand some down 
to me. 


THE WATCH 


Little boy with watch. 

A watch should not be swung around, 
Or left to run upon the ground. 

And do not let your finger stand 
Upon it’s busy second hand. 

And it is better not to trace 
The mystery inside the case. 


WHEN IT COMES NIGHT 


For a little boy. Have pictures of pa and ma on 
one side of slate and pictures of pa, ma, himself, cat 
and dog on other. He holds them up at proper time. 

I don’t have no good time when it comes night; 

I’m miserable and I don’t know what to do; 

My pa he reads the paper all so still, 

And I just switch around and fuss and stew. 






castle’s school entertainments 


55 


Until my ma she says, “Oh dearie me, 

Whatever can it he that ails the child? 

Do, childie, mark upon your little slate, 

Or else you’ll surely set poor mother wild. 

And then I sit right down upon the floor, 

And first I make a picture of my pa, 

Then so that he won’t feel all lonely-lone, 

I draw another picture of my ma, 

Then first I tell my pa to look and see, 

He shows my ma, and asks me, “what’s it ’bout?” 

And then, they both look at each other’n laugh, 

And say it’s good, when I have ’splained it out. 

Well, then, I feel more happy after that, 

And ’cause the pictures seem to ’muse them so, 

I work just as hard as ever that I can, 

And draw our family standing in a row. 

—Cora Lap ham Hazard. 


MRS. WASP AND MRS. BEE 


Said Mrs. Wasp to Mrs. Bee: 

“Will you a favor do me? 

There’s something I can’t understand; 
Please, ma’am explain it to me. 

“Why do men build for you a house, 
And coax you to go in it, 

While me, your cousin, they’ll not let 
Stay near them for a minute? 




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“I have a sting, I do confess, 

And should not like to lose it; 

But so have you, and when you’re vexed 
Pm very sure you use it.” 

“Well,” said Mrs. Bee, “to you, no doubt, 
It does seem rather funny; 

But people soon forget the stings 
Of those who give them honey.” 


WHAT TOMMY TAKES 


That Tommy Todd could have a fault 
Which all his friends condone 
Is past belief, and yet ’tis said 
He takes things not his own. 

“He has his father’s eyes,” cries one, 

“It’s plainly to be seen!” 

“His nose and mouth, though, Tommy took 
Straight from his Grandpa Green.” 

“Our Tommy has his mother’s hair,” 

His aunts will freely say, 

“His mother’s forehead, too, you see, 

Of course that’s plain as day!” 

And many, many times a week 
Of Tommy Todd ’tis said, 

“We all know where he got that laugh! 

From his poor Uncle Ned!” 

—Elizabeth L, Gould . 




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EIGHT AND NINE 


Eight and nine went out one day 

And wandered down the woodland way. 
They found some nuts upon a tree, 

And Eight said: “Give the first to me! 

The first to me, for they are mine, 

Since I am Eight and you are Nine.” 

Then on they went in merry mood, 

And by-and-by they left the wood, 

And reached a pleasant meadow green 
Where cows with lengthy horns were seen. 
Then Eight remarked right timidly: 

“Now you must go in front of me. 

I’ll walk behind you through the gate, 

Since you are Nine and I am Eight.” 


A DAY’S OCCUPATION 


Eight hours to sleep, and two to walk, 

And three to eat and laugh and talk, 

Six for study every day, 

Five are left for work and play. 

Eat well, sleep well, work well, read well, 

And your life will always speed well. 

—Delia Hart Stone . 





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EXERCISES FOR PRIMARY GRADES 


PRIMARY BUTTERFLIES. 


Several small girls in pale yellow. Have skirts very 
full. Grasp hem of skirt, on each side, and rest tips of 
fingers on shoulders, giving appearance of wings. 

We’re the first butterflies, 

Primary butterflies, 

“Not very large or wise,” 

Maybe you say. 

But we learn many things, 

In our gay wanderings/ 

[1] Floating on yellow wings, 

All the bright day. 

Gay little butterflies, 

[1] Yellow winged butterflies; 

Not very large or wise, 

As you can see. 

But very well we know 
Where the sweet flowers blow, 

Roses, with hearts aglow, 

Sweet as can be. 

Gay little butterflies, 

[1] Yellow winged butterflies 
Not very large or wise; 

Ah, but we know 
Ev’ry birds sweetest note; 

Know where white lilies float, 

In their green sailing boat. 

Cool as the snow. 




castle’s school entertainments 59 

Now we will ask of you, 

Tell us, in answer true, 

When the sad ev’ning dew 
Silently weeps, 

And the deep darkness clings, 

[2] Where do we fold our wings? 

~Gay little careless things, 

[3] Where do we sleep? 

[1] Lower and raise hands, still holding hem of skirt. 

[2] Lower arms and release skirts. 

[3] Place palms together and hold hands at left. Bow 
head to left, resting left cheek on back of right hand. 
Close eyes. Burn red light. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


A CURE FOR MEASLES 


Three little girls. Doll in cradle. Bottle, spoon and 
broken glass on chair. Enter boys, with sled. 

Boys: 

Hello girls! come and have a slide; 

The coasting is just splendid. 

Give Mabel Arabelle a rest; 

She’s sick of being tended. 

The track is nice and smooth and hard, 

And we just go a-flying 
Clear down the hill and cross the yard, 
Without so much as trying. 




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Girls: 

Dear Mabel Arabelle is sick; 

She’s got the measles, dreadful. 

She has to have her med’cine quick; 

She’s very cross and fretful. 

No, we can’t go and slide down hill, 

We have to stay and rock her. 

We’re ’fraid she’ll die, she is so ill. 

We wish you’d get the doctor. 

Boys: 

Oh yes, we’ll go for Doctor Gad; 

We’ll bring him on our sled. 

He cures the measles, when they’re bad, 

And brings them out real red. 

And if the doctor says, perhaps, 

Miss Mabel isn’t dying, 

And there’s no danger of relapse, 

You’d better go a-sliding. [Exit boys.] 

First Girl: 

If Mabel wants to take a sleep, 

Perhaps we’d better let her. 

Second Girl: [Bending over cradle .1 

The sliding must be awful sweet. 

I think she’s getting better. 


castle’s school entertainments 61 


Third Girl: 

Come on, let’s get our cloaks and hoods. 
All: 

Look out, don’t make a noise! 

Old Doctor Gad shan’t ’scribe for her, 

His med’cine’s good for hoys. 

[Tip toe out.] —Harriet D. Castle. 


THE HOUSEWIFE’S PART 

For three little girls. 

All: 

Oh, men, and oh, brothers; and all of yon others 
I beg of you pause and listen a bit. 

And tell you without altering any of it, 

The tale of the housewife’s part. 

First Little Girl: 

Mixing and fixing, 

Brewing and stewing, 

Basting and tasting, 

Lifting and sifting, 

Stoning and boning, 

Toasting and roasting, 

Kneading and seeding, 

Straining and draining, 

Poking and soaking, 




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Choosing and using, 

Reasoning and seasoning, 

Paring and sharing— 

This is the housewife’s part. 

Second Little Girl: 

Filling and spilling, 

Pounding and sounding, 

Creaming and steaming, 

Skimming and trimming, 

Mopping and chopping, 

Coring and pouring, 

Shelling and smelling, 

Grinding and minding, 

Firing and tiring, 

Carving and serving— 

This is the housewife’s part. 

Third Little Girl: 

Oiling and boiling and broiling, 

Buying and trying and frying, 

Burning and turning and churning, 

Pricing and icing and slicing, 

Hashing and mashing and splashing, 
Scanning and planning, 

Greasing and squeezing and freezing— 

This is the housewife’s part. 


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All: 

Aching and baking and making and shaking, 
Beating and heating and seating and treating, 
Oh, men, and oh, brothers; and all of you others— 
Do you envy the housewife’s part ? 

—Susie M. Best. 


WHICH ONE WAS RIGHT 


For four little girls. 

Letty: 

Four little girls, all in a row, 

Before the blackboard jetty; 

One little word they had to write. 

They thought and thought with all their might; 
Then R and I and T and E, 

The first one spelled triumphantly. 

And “Good!” the teacher said, said she, 

To laughing little Letty. 

Hetty: 

The second looked, and frowned a bit, 

Although she wasn’t fretty. 

Should she begin with R? Instead 
She wrote a W at the head. 

And “Good!” again the teacher said 
To happy little Hetty. 




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Netty: 

Now to the third each little word 
Looked very small and petty; 

SoWRIGHT, 

A long, long word she wrote in glee. 

And “Good!” the teacher said, said she, 
To knowing little Netty. 

Betty: 

Then, last of all, a little maid, 

With blue eyes soft and pretty, 

Took off the W, left the G 

And wrote it, R I G H T. 

And “Good!” the teacher said, said she, 
To bonny little Betty. 

All: 

Pour little girls all wreathed in smiles, 
They left the blackboard jetty; 

For here’s the funny thing I’ve heard 

About that very funny word,— 

Though each one’s spelling, as you see, 

Was different from the other three. 

Each wrote it R I G H T, 

From Letty down to Betty! 


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65 


A THANKSGIVING ACROSTIC 


For twelve children. Hang cardboard, with letters, 
around necks, blank side out. Each turns cards after 
reciting. 

T’s for the turkey so toothsome and good, 

H is for holiday, well understood. 

A’s for the apples which make sauce and pie, 

N’s for the noise of the children knee-high. 

K’s for the kitchen where good things are made, 
S is for spices and sweet marmalade. 

G’s for the games which we play until night, 

I’s for the ices so cold and so white. 

V’s for the vines which encircle each plate, 

I’s for the illness which comes to us late. 

N’s for the nuts, and the raisins, you know, 

G’s for the gratitude we all should show. 

— C. B. Jordan. 


TARDY TIM 


Boy comes on stage, with kite, which he seems to be 
getting ready to fly. Other children come along, pause 
and address him. 

Children: 

%■ 

Pray what are you doing here, 

Little tardy Tim? 

You will be behind, we fear, 

When the school hell rings. 






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Do you know the song it sings? 

We all know it well. 

You just listen when it rings, 

Listen to the bell. 

Children sing to air of “Lightly Row.” Tap bell in 
time to music. 

Tardy Tim, tardy Tim, 

One more tardy mark for him; 

Tardy Tim, tardy Tim, 

Tardy mark for him. 

Tim: 

Don’t say any such a thing! 

But I’m going to go 
Soon’s I give my kite a fling. 

See how high ’twill go! 

Hasn’t it a dandy tail? 

Now then, you just wait, 

And you’ll see her sail and sail. 

Tell you, she is great! 

Children: 

No, we haven’t time, you see; 

Haven’t time to wait. 

We should all feel dreadfully 
If we should be late. 

Hurry up and wind your string. 

Better come along; 

Or the school bell soon will sing 
Just the same old song. 

Children pass on. 


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67 


Tim: 

Don’t believe a single thing 
’Bout the school bell song. 

Guess I’ll just wind up my string— (winds) 
And then get along. 

S’pose they think they’re awful good; 

Never get a mark; 

Now I wonder if I could, 

If I’d try—but hark! 

Bell rings Children, out of sight, sing “Tardy Jim,” 
etc. Tim runs off dragging kite. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


SIGNS 


For several children. 

When studying arithmetic 

[1] Two straight lines, crossed, mean “add up 

quick. ’ ’ 

The teacher’ll give it out and say, 

“Now who will get through first to-day?” 

[2] One line, that horizontal lay, 

Bade us subtract, or take away 

The small one from the large. They say 
It won’t come right the other way. 




68 castle’s school entertainments 

Now multiply will be the next, 

[3] Two slanting lines, just like an X 
We must remember, you and I, 

The little x means multiply. 

A line, with dots on either side, 

Says little children should divide; 

And when you’ve something good ’twill say, 
“Remember part’s to give away.” 

[4] Two lazy lines, that lie down flat, 

Say, “This is just the same as that” 

I think it is a funny sort; 

They call it Equals, just for short. 

The other signs, we think, must be 
For larger folks to learn than we. 

We’re tired of them, any way: 

[5] So we will bid you all good day. 

[1] Cross first fingers, horizontal and perpendicular. 

[2] Index finger held horizontally in front of breast. 
13] Make X with front fingers. 

[4] Hold first fingers horizontally one above other. 

[5] Bow. 

—Harriet D . Castle. 


TWO POINTS OF VIEW 


For four little girls and one boy. 


First Girl: 

Said the goose to the gander: “This weather is 
fine! 

Just hear the drops patter and see grass shine! 




castle’s school entertainments 


69 


There is surely no fun like a walk when it pours; 
I don’t see why anyone stays within doors.” 

Second Girl: 

Said the hen to the cock: “Oh dear, what shall 
we do? 

I told you ’twould rain, and you see I spoke true. 
Hurry in! hurry in! for your plumage you’ll wet, 
And you .know what a horrible cold you may get. ’ ’ 

Third Girl: 

Said the duck to the drake: “Feel the rain on 
your back! 

It slides off your wings before you can say 
‘ Quack! ’ 

Oh, a long day of pleasure! It is such a treat 
To step in a puddle and splash with both feet! ’ ’ 

Fourth Girl: 

Said the girl to the boy: “Now don’t stand there 
and pout; 

You certainly cannot expect to go out! 

The gutters are running as full as a brook. 

Come ! Sit by the fire and read a nice book. ” 

Boy: 

Said the boy to the girl—what did the boy say? 
Eemember, ’twas raining the whole of the day, 
And perhaps he had toothache, or didn’t feel well, 
But just what he said I would rather not tell! 

— A . B. Carr. 


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STAYING OUT LATE 


Two little boys. 

“0 mother, let us stay out late!’’ 

Cried little Tom and Fred; 

“Always before it’s really dark 
You make us go to bed. 

We’re sure that we would like the dark, 
We want to see the moon; 

They say some owls are in this grove, 
Don’t make us come so soon!” 

Down sank the sun, up rose tne moon, 
The tree-toads made their noise; 

Two little owls began to hoot, 

Which scared those little boys. 

Back to their homes they quickly ran, 
They heard the watch-dog bark: 

“Mamma, we want to come to bed, 
We’re frightened at the dark!” 

Two little girls. 

‘ ‘ 0 mother, let us stay out late! ’ ’ 

Cried little Fuzz and Ball. 

“You always make us go to bed 
Before it’s light at all. 



castle’s school entertainments 71 

We’re sure that we would like the light; 

We want to see the sun; 

They say two boys come to this grove, . 

And that will be great fun!” 

Down sank the moon, up rose the sun; 

Loud ‘crowed the barn-yard fowls; 

Two little boys began, to shout, 

Which scared those little owls. 

Back to their hollow tree they flew; 

Their eyes were big and bright: 

“Mamma, we want to go to bed, 

We’re frightened at the light!” 

—Mary E. Dimond. 


THE WARNING 


For three little ones. 

One, two, three—see, here w;e be. 

We came to say good morning. 

It’s very plain it’s going to rain; 

We thought we’d give you warning. 

The tree-toad croaked like someone choked; 

The peafowl kept a-screaming; 

Such signs are clear that rain is near, 

And grandma’s been a-dreaming. 




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But we small three had better be 
A-scampering home together; 

See, on the pane, a drop of rain! 
Now, can’t we guess the weather? 


But, oh, dear me! it’s pouring, see! 

We can’t get home this morning; 

Still, auntie, dear, we’re glad we’re here, 
Or who’d have given you warning ?. 

—E. S 


TEN LITTLE CUPIDS 


Ten tiny boys in close! fitting, flesh colored, under¬ 
wear. Small wings. Large square envelopes for caps. 
Bows and arrows. 


All: 

[1] Ten little valentines—we wear ’em for caps. 
Ten little girlies will get them, perhaps. 

Ten little cupids, all in a row; 

Each little cupid armed with a bow. 

[2] Ten little cupids, oh, how they sigh! 

[3] Ten little arrows ready to fly; 

Ten little cupids seeking a mate; 

Ah, pretty maidens, why do you wait ? 

First Cupid: 

[4] Ten little cupids all in a line; 

I ’ll fly to my true love and there will be nine. 




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73 


Second Cupid: 

[4] Nine little cupids; I cannot wait; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be 
eight. 

Third Cupid: 

[4] We little cupids turn earth to Heaven. 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be 
seven. 

Fourth Cupid: 

[4] Seven little cupids, full of their tricks; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be six. 

Fifth Cupid: 

[4] Six little cupids, little and live; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be five. 

Sixth Cupid: 

[4] Five little cupids left to adore; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be four. 
Seventh Cupid: 

[4] Four little cupids, cute as can be; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be 
three. 

Eighth Cupid: 

[4] Three little cupids, mischief to do; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be two. 


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Ninth Cupid: 

[4] Two little cupids, brim full of fun; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be one. 

Tenth Cupid: 

[4] One little cupid left all alone; 

I’ll fly to my true love and there will be none. 

[1] Hands to caps. 

[2] Sigh. 

[3] Raise bows. 

[4] Leave stage. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


WHAT GRANDMA SAID 


First Girl: 

11 Oh goody! ’ ’ said I, this morning, 

4 ‘Oh goody! it’s Children’s Day.” 

Then grandma looked over her spectacles 
In a most forbidding way. 

“Humph! an’ so this is Children’s Day? 

It rather seems to me, 

They are having their say ’most every day, 
A-now-a-days, ” said she. 

‘ ‘ They used to tell me that ‘ children 
Should always be seen, not heard.’ 

I never thought, when company came, 

Of saying a single word. 




castle’s school entertainments 75 

Why, I’d no more thought of chippin’ in 
As the children do now-a-days. 

We were all brought up, when I was a child. 

To much more mannerly ways. 

Our clothes want made as they make ’em now, 
With ribbons an’ ruffles an’ fuss, 

But a good nice chintz, made up sensible, 

Was good enough for us.” 

Poor grandma! I’m sorry she had to wear 
Such a dreadful ugly dress, 

And never once dared to speak a word: 

It soured her some, I guess. 

Second Girl: 

I said to my grandma, this morning, 

“I’m sorry, as sorry can be, 

They didn’t have Children’s Day when you 
Were a little girl like me.” 

Then grandmother smiled and said to me, 

“My darling, don’t you know, 

The first and best of Children’s Days 
Was hundreds of years ago? 

When Jesus said, in His tender tones, 

‘Let the little ones come unto me;’ 

And clasped them close, in his loving arms, 

And blessed them, so tenderly. 

His spirit spoke to some heart, maybe, 

When your Children’s Day was given.” 

Then grandmother kissed me and softly said, 

“ ‘Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.’ ” 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


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TWO POINTS OF VIEW 


For two small boys and larger girl. Girl stands in 

center. 

Said little country Johnny: “It seems so nice to 
me 

To wear fine clothes on week days, like the other 
boys I see; 

And to go to many places and such pleasant days 
to know 

As they must who live in cities; I’d love the town, 
I know.” 

Said Jimmie from the city: ‘ ‘ Oh, it must be lots 
of fun 

To go barefoot all the summer and to jump and 
play and run 

Over fields and streams and fences all the year 
and every day; 

I know I’d love the country; how I wish that I 
could stay!” 

But if some jolly fairy had permitted them to 
change, 

Don’t you think that each small grumbler would 
have found the new life strange? 

Don’t you think perhaps we’re happier, each one, 
just where we are, 

And where the good Lord placed us, than if we 
wandered far? 


— E. M. C. 



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THE FAIRIES’ TEA 


Five tiny girls in pale green or white. Small wings. 

Five little fairies went out to take tea 

Under the shade of a juniper tree; 

Each had a cup from an acorn ball cut, 

And a plate from the rind of a hickory nut, 

And the table was spread with a cloth all of lace, 

Which the spiders had woven the banquet to 
grace. 

Oh, such good things as they all had to eat; 

Slices of strawberry—my, what a treat! 

Honey the sweetest the wild bee could hive, 

And a humming bird’s egg for each one of the 
five! 

Then they pledged their host’s health in their 
favorite drink, 

Which was—well, what was it? Can any one 
think ? 

Why, the dewdrop that comes from the heart of 
the rose 

Is the drink of the fairies, as everyone knows! 

[Drink from 

—Priscilla Leonard, in Primary Education. 


WOULDN’T THAT BE BEST 

For six children. 

One: 

If I were a bird, 

I should go to rest 





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High up in a tree 
In a little nest! 

Isn’t that absurd ? 

Two: 

If I were a bunny, 

Then I should be found 
In a little hole 
Underneath the ground! 

Wouldn’t that be funny? 

Three: 

If I were a sole 
Deep down in the sea, 

I should swim about; 
Fancy little me! 

Wouldn’t that be droll? 

Four: 

If I were a billy 
Or a nanny goat, 

I should have some horns 
And a furry coat! 

Wouldn’t that be silly? 

Five: 

If I were a Cupid, 

I should, with my bow 
And my arrow, shoot 
People’s hearts, you know! 

Wouldn’t that be stupid? 


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79 


Six: 

If I were to change, 

Some one else to be, 

Think that I should feel 
Not at all like me! 

Wouldn’t that be strange? 

All: 

Think I’d better rest 
As I am, you see; 

Mightn’t like the change, 

Better still be me! 

Wouldn’t that be best? 

—Constance M. Lozve. 


THE SEVEN SLEEPERS 


For seven children. 

One: 

Curly-headed Baby Tom 
Sleeps in cozy blankets warm, 

In his crib. 

Two: 

Bob-o’-Lincoln—oh, so wise! 
Goes to sleep ’neath sunny skies, 
’Mid the leaves. 




80 castle’s school entertainments 

Three: 

Mr. Bruin, night and day, 

Snoozes all his time away, 

In his cave! 

Four: 

Squirrel-Red with nuts—a store! 

In hollow tree-trunk loves to snore, 

In the wood. 

Five: 

Mrs. Woodchuck ’neath some knoll, 
Drowses in her bed—a hole! 

Deep in earth. 

Six: 

Floweret bulbs nestled together, 

Doze all through the wintry weather, 

• ’Neath the snow. 

Seven: 

In the chrysalis hard by, 

Dreams the sometime butterfly, 

In corner hid. 

All: 

Oh, what beds! So very queer! 

Yet to each one just as dear 
. As yours to you! 

—Adelbert F. Caldwell 


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EDUCATIONAL GHOSTS 

An exercise concluding in ghost walk. Characters and 
Costumes: All figures draped in white. White drap¬ 
eries over head, with openings for eyes and mouth. Pro¬ 
truding paper ears. Old fashioned pedagogue, wears 
large, horn-rimmed, glasses; Doctor Birch, wears old 
fashioned, tall, white hat (make of pasteboard or cover 
hat with white). Reading Class, carry old readers; 
Professor of Penmanship, carries copy hook, quill pen 
behind ear; arithmetic class, slates, pencils and hooks; 
Water carriers, pails and dippers; grammar class, carry 
old books; geography class, carry old atlases; ABC 
class, small ghosts with large letters on breast; spell¬ 
ing class, carry spelling books; blue covers. 

Play few bars of march as each division comes on 
stage, and again as they pass to back of stage and 
another division comes on. The number in each class 
would depend on size of stage. 

The ABC class should represent the entire alphabet, 
if possible. 

The recitations may be given by one number of class 
or in concert. 

Enter Pedagogue and Dr. Birch. 

Pedagogue: 

I’m a good old-fashioned pedagogue: 

I labored long and hard, 

And many, many years ago 

I went to my reward. 

But my well-earned rest is troubled 

By the reports I hear 
Of these crazy modern methods; 

Growing worse from year to year. 



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The question was a grave one 
And it raised me from the grave: 

From these crazy modern methods 
I have come to seek and save. 

We never vexed the children 
With the whyness of the why, 

Or the smatteringness of all things, 
In the good old days gone by. 

We gave the mental stomach 
What it could well digest: 

And I rise to the assertion 

That the old way was the best. 

They fill with harmful gasses 
The well of knowledge sweet, 

They desecrate these sacred halls 
We trod with reverent feet; 

So, at the mystic midnight hour, 

I and my pupils dear 

Rise from our troubled slumber 
And once more gather here. 

We tread the well-remembered halls, 
We sadly, softly greet, 

We gaze on the familiar walls 
And fill our old-time seat. 

It comforts our sad hearts to know 
That, till the break of day, 

All things will be conducted here 
In the good old-fashioned way. 


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83 


Gesture as if introducing Dr. Birch. 

• This is my learned coadjutor, 

I-lick-’em Birch, M. D. 

You’ll seldom meet a person 
Of so great celebrity. 

He helped to train the children 
In the right way from the start; 

And, I can truly testify, 

He helped to make them smart. 

Dr. Birch: 

I’m a doctor of the old school, 

The very oldest one; 

I took my first diploma 
In the school of Solomon. 

’Twas thus the wise man taught us, 
“Spare the rod and spoil the child.” 

From the teachings of this wise man 
Modern teachers are beguiled. 

They prate of “moral suasion,” 

And they theorize and shirk: 

I strike straight at the bottom 
And I do good thorough work. 

Pedagogue and Dr. B. pass to back of stage. 

Reading class. 

Reading Class: 

We were the vaunted readers here, 

My schoolmates dear and I: 

We used to charm the listening ear 
In happy days gone by. 


Enter 


84 


castle’s school entertainments 


E’en in our earlier efforts 

There were wet eyes when we read, 
“The boy stood on the burning deck 
Whence all but him had fled.” 

And later on they wondered 
And sat, with bated breath, 

While Patrick Henry thundered, 

“Give me liberty or death!” 

It is a solemn joy to come 
And, in the dark and gloom, 

Awake the slumbering echoes 
In this dear familiar room. 

Take place at back of stage and con readers. 
Professor of Writing. 

Professor of Writing: 

The praises of good penmanship 
I have arisen to sing, 

While memories of bygone days 
Are sadly whispering. 

The children of the modern school 
All bend their little backs 
Over reviews and written work 
In hasty turkey tracks. 

Their writing may be vertical, 

But, I’m constrained to say, 

I’d rather have them sit up straight 
Than have them write that way. 


Enter 


castle’s school entertainments 85 

I would observe the graceful slant, 

The light and heavy shade. 

These inartistic modern rules 
Should never be obeyed. 

But I am only here from twelve 
Till early morning light: 

My art is in a dreadful strait 
And I can’t make it right. 

Takes place at back of stage. Sharpens pens and 
turns leaves of copy book. Enter Arithmetic class. 

Arithmetic Class: 

“Reading, ’riting, ’rithmetic;” 

We come the last and best; 

For we won the admiration 
And wonder of the rest. 

We labored hard with fractions, 

Patching up their broken parts; 

We reached the good old rule of three 
With proudly beating hearts; 

And how each schoolmate gazed at us, 

With awed, admiring look, 

When we proclaimed, with honest pride, 

That we were through the book. 

But the most useful thing we learned, 

So thorough and so stable, 

(We doubt if modern boys and girls 


86 


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Are any of them able), 

To stand up in a line and sing 
The multiplication table. 

Sing fives, air Yankee Doodle. Takes place at back 
of stage. Work problems on slate. Enter Water Car¬ 
riers. 


Water Carriers: 

Ah, well do we remember how, 

In happy childhood’s day, 

[1] We used to pass the water in 

The good old-fashioned way. 

In the country where we ’re staying 

[2] The climate is so hot 

Our thoughts are often straying 
To our former happy lot. 

It used to make us mad, but now 
We’d not be mad a speck, 

If some mischievous schoolmate should 

[3] Pour water down our neck. 

Ah, yes, it is a respite sweet 

To tread the cool pine floor 
And feel the dripping dipper at 

[4] Our thirsty lips once more. 

1. Hold dipper toward audience. 

2. Fan with dippers. 

3. Pantomine of pouring water down each others 
neck. 

4. Pass to back of stage with dippers at lips. Panto- 
mine of passing water to others and taking long 
draughts themselves. 

Enter Grammar Class. 


castle’s school entertainments 


87 


Grammar Class: 

In dear old days we used to be 
The champion grammar class. 

’Tis language now and literature; 

Alas! alas! alas! 

We used to parse and diagram, 

Transpose and analyze; 

Our schoolmates thought (we too, perhaps,) 
That we were wondrous wise. 

We could decline the verb “to love” 

In person, tense and mood, 

With downcast glances stealing where 
Some proper person stood. 

With blushing cheeks we said, “I love,” 

Both properly and well; 

But who the proper person was 
We all declined to tell. 

The books we conned are on the shelf, 

We think it is a shame; - 
But the language of the verb “to love” 

Will always be the same. 

Pass to back of stage. Con old books. Enter Geog¬ 
raphy Class. 

Geography Class : 

Hold up atlases. 

There was mystery, and romance, too, 

In old geography: 

There were still discoveries to make 
About the earth and sea. 


88 castle’s school entertainments 

Within our old time atlases 
Were gayly pictured out 
Wide tracts of country “unexplored” 

For us to dream about. 

The sources of the mystic Nile 
Had never yet been found; 

The jungles held the origin 
A secret most profound. 

But in our own United States 
We all felt quite at home: 

You’ll never find a better land 
Wherever you may roam. 

We tackled the whole country first 
And gave the boundary; 

We found where all the rivers rose 
And chased them to the sea. 

We learned to locate all the states 
And bound them, every one; 

And then we’d sing the capitols; 

That was the greatest fun. 

Sing names of states and capitols, omitting those 
recently admitted. Take places at back of stage. Enter 
ABC Class. 


A, B, C Class: 

We are the A, B, C Class: 

In the happy days gone by 
They always gave us the first place, 
My classmates dear and I. 


castle’s school entertainments 89 

We were the first, ones introduced 
To little children sweet; 

Our leader, A, and busy B 
They were so glad to meet. 

They soon became acquainted 
With jolly, round faced 0, 

And mamma’s T and crooked S 
Were easy ones to know. 

With what delight they listened to 
The little tale of Q; 

How proud they were to speak the name 
Of ponderous W. 

But in these dreadful modern schools 
They slight us large and small: 

Why many of the graduates 
Don’t even know us all. 

If they were asked to write some names 
In alphabetic way 

They wouldn’t know which one came first 
The queer old Z or A. 

Poor things, we’d like to teach them; 

It wouldn’t take us long 
If they would listen while we sang 
Our pretty little song. 

Sing alphabet to old tune. Take places at back of 
stage. Enter Spelling Class. 

Spelling Class: 

We were the champion spelling class, 

The'pride of all the town; 


90 


castle’s school entertainments 


In good old Webster’s Spelling Book 
They couldn’t spell ns down. 

How grandly rolled the syllables 
In good old days of yore; 

We dropped them all and then went back 
And picked them up once more. 

Pedagogue. [Interrupting.] 

Those were glorious days, my pupils! 

And I seem to live them o’er; 

I am losing that grave feeling; 

Ye have warmed my heart once more. 

I feel the cheering presence of 
The magnates of the town. 

We’ll have a glorious time to-night! 

We’ll choose sides and spell down. 

I’d like to see you try a round 
With your poor modern brother. 

Noah Webster, you may lead one side, 

George Washington the other. 

Noah Webster and George Washington choose, calling 
names of noted men and women of former days. ABC 
remains at back of stage. Study primers and play 
occasional trick. Spellers repeat syllable in old style, 
like this—I-n, in c-o-m, com, incom, p-r-e, pre, incompre, 
h-e-n, hen, incomprehen, s-i, si, incomprehensi, b-i-1, bil, 
incomprehensibil, i, incomprehensibili, t-y, ty, incompre¬ 
hensibility. 

Spell (not to long) until there is a crowing of cocks 
behind scenes, or somewhere out of sight. Pedagogue 
drops book at side dejectedly. 


castle’s school entertainments 


91 


Pedagogue: 

The cocks are crowing for the morn, 

For we have lingered late: 

Soon once again the modern herd 
These halls will desecrate. 

Ah, my dear pupils, we must go, 

The pleasant time is o’er, 

And that grave feeling, suddenly, 

Sweeps o’er my heart once more. 

ABC Class falls in rank. March in any desired way. 
(Dr Birch giving an occasional cut with switch) and 
finally from stage. 


—Harriet D. Castle. 


92 


castle’s school entertainments 


PRESIDENT OF THE SCHOOL BOARD 

CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. 

Spoutem Gassy —Something of a dandy. 

Mrs. Gassy —Elderly. Wears wrapper. Hair in 
curl papers. 

Toughs—R oughly dressed. 

Mrs. O’Neal—G ay, untasteful dress. 

Jimmy O’Neal —Bandage over one eye. Arm in 
sling. 

Polly Prettymaid — A pretty girl of the gushing, 
giggling type. 

Scene —An ordinary room. 


Spoutem Gassy (Soliloquy). —Well, I should think 
it was time those returns began to come in. I wasn’t 
at all interested or excited, you know; (Winlcs) was 
going home and going to bed. But that wouldn’t 
hinder Billy’s calling me up and letting me know how 
it had gone, you know. I wanted to be President of 
the School Board for several reasons, but chiefly I 
wanted to oust that old Honest Goodman. He thiiiks 
lie’s got a monopoly on virtue and honesty. Don’t 
take much stock in mine, I know, although he hasn’t 
said so. He’s a back number, anyway. A flourish¬ 
ing town, like this, wants some one that will make a 
fine appearance and give ’em a rattling good speech. 
(Goes to mirror and views himself with evident satis- 




castle’s school entertainments 


93 


faction.) Yes, Spoutem, my boy, I think you’ll do. 
Look pretty fine, up there on the platform, dealing 
out the diplomas and blue ribbons, won’t you ? Guess 
I must treat myself to a, new suit before commence¬ 
ment. (Telephone hell rings. He reaches telephone 
with one or two hasty strides. Takes down receiver, 
yawns audibly and says, “Hello!” as if about half 
asleep.) S. G. —Ye-e-s, I guess I’m Spoutem Gassy 
when I’m awake. Ain’t more than half awake yet. 
(Aside) Bill’s telling them how he heard me yawn 
and how I ain’t half-awake yet. Don’t take Bill long 
to catch on.—Guess who’s the new President ? Why, 
Roosevelt, of course. What do you take me for ?- 

Spoutem Gassy ? Oh, you’re gassing.- 

Oh, President of the School Board. Well, I do 
feel rather bored. 

Honest Goodman left way behind? That’s too 
bad when he has served so long and faithfully. 
(Aside, with a wink). That sounds pretty well over 
the wires, don’t it? 

S’pose I’d like to finish my nap? You’re right, I 
would. Hardly got my eyes open yet. Come around 
in the morning when I’m awake. 

All right. 

Good-bye. (Hangs up receiver. Straightens up 
and swells with importance. Slaps chest.) Well, 
Spoutem, my boy, you never expected to be President, 
did you ? Wonder how old Goodman is feeling. “Left 
way behind.” S’pose he don’t feel so good as com¬ 
mon. (Telephone rings.) 

Hello. 



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Yes, I’m Spoutem Gassy. 

Oh, Honest Goodman, is it ? 

Thank you. 

Hope your mantle will fall on me. 

Yes. 

Thank you. 

Good-bye. (Hangs up receiver.) . 

Well, Honest Goodman feels as if a burden had 
been lifted from his shoulders. S’pose he does if he 
says so. Nice little turn that of mine about his 
mantle falling on me. ’Fraid it would be just a 
trifle old-fashioned. [Rap at door .] 

S. G. —Come in. [Enter Mrs. O’Neal and Jimmy.'] 

S. G. —Good evening, madam. Whom have I the 
honor of addressing? 

Mrs. O’N. —Bad luck til yez, ye spalpane ye! Shure 
an’ ye don’t nade to be a dressing me at tall at tall, 
an’ me wid me bist Sunday gown on. 

S. G. —And a lovely gown it is, madam. You 
didn’t quite understand. I said a^-dressing, which 
means whom am I talking to ? 

Mrs. O’N. —Shure, an’ does it now ? An’ it’s axin’ 
yer poirdin, Oi om, fer spakin’ so disrespictful loike. 
Me rid hid does be gettin’ away wid me. Me name is 
Nora O’Nale, woife av Patrick O’Nale. Beloike an’ 
yer honor will be moindin’ Pat? 

S. G. —Indeed, I will. Patrick and I ’are old 
friends. I must shake hands with his wife. (Shakes 
hands.) And this is one of Patrick’s boys, I know; 
he is the image of his father. (Jimmy slinks back 
sulkily ) 


castle’s school entertainments 


95 


Mrs. O’N. —Arrah, now, Jimmy darlint, shake 
hands wid the jintilmon. (Jimmy shakes hands re¬ 
luctantly.) It’s falin’ a bit sore an* cross he is, an’ 
small wander. It’s thot I did be cornin’ to till ye 
about. 

S. G .—Have a seat, madam, and Jimmy, my boy, 
here’s a seat for you. (Mrs. O’Neal sits down. Jimmy 
draws sle-eve under nose.) 

Mrs. O’N .—Set down wid ye, Jimmy; an’ don’t be 
usin’ yer slave fer a hankercher whin ye do be havin’ 
a foine clain one in yer pockit. It’s a dale of trouble 
the poor bye has been havin’ up at the school. We’ve 
been puttin’ up wid it widout complainin’, fer it’s 
moighty little attintion thim big bugs would be payin’ 
to the loiks av us. But Pat says to me to-night, says 
he, “We’ve got wan av our own byes at the hid av the 
School Board now and do ye jist be takin’ Jimmy 
an’ go up an’ till him all about it. It’s remimberin’ 
Pat O’Nale he’ll be an’ who sit up the drinks an’ 
carried the Sixth ward fer him.” 

S. G. —Indeed, I shall not forget Patrick’s services, 
madam. But what is the trouble with Jimmy? 

Mrs. O’N. —Oh, thim byes up at the school do be 
abusin’ the poor darlint. Shure an’ I have me two 
hands full a mindin’ the tears, an’ bathin’ of him wid 
arnica an’ stickin’ up the cuts wid courtin’ plaster. 

Jimmy .—Bet their maws has a worrus time. 

Mrs. O’N .—Jist loike Pat, do ye moind sor? He’ll 
niver own up he was licked. It’s always cornin’ out 
ahid he is an’ lit him till it. But to-day the poor 
darlint did be cornin’ home wid the worrust lookin’ 


96 


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oye. Shuer, an’ it was swelled thot toight it’s afraid 
I was he’d niver be giftin’ it open agin. 

Jimmy (drumming heels vigorously against chair 
legs.) Bet ye John Stuart’s two oyes were shet. 

Mrs. O’N. —Be quiet wid ye, Jimmy, an’ don’t be 
puttin’ in whin older folks do be talkin’; an’ quit a 
scrongin’ the chair ligs wid yer hales. 

Jimmy. —Huh, it don’t hurt ’em any. 

Mrs. O’N. —Pat was thot mod to-noight he did 
be goin’ on loike a Fourth of July o-ra-ter. Sez he, 
"Shall the airestycrots go on a bloindin’ an’ oppres- 
sin’ the children av the workin’ min ? Shall we suffer 
such injustice?” An’ thin he tauld me to come to 
you as Oi did be telling ye. 

S. G. —And quite right, madam, quite right, Spout- 
em Gassy isn’t the man to forget his friends. Now, 
Jimmy, my man, don’t you think you could get along 
without fighting ? 

Jimmy. —What fer? Oi loikes it. 

S. G. —You don’t like to have your eyes knocked 
•out, do you? 

Jimmy .—Gee! you ort to seen John Stuart’s oyes. 

8. G. —Now, see here, Jimmy, if you won’t get into 
a fight in a month, I’ll give you the shiniest half- 
dollar you ever saw. 

Jimmy. —All roight, sor. Oi’ll tell ’em Oi’ve gone 
out av the lickin’ business fer a whoile; but the prisi- 
dent av the board will be doin’ it fer me, ’cause me 
daddy elicted him. 

S. G. —I wouldn’t tell ’em that, Jimmy; you see 
I’m not much on the fight. 


castle’s school entertainments 


97 


Jimmy. —Faith, an’ ye do look some loike a cad. 
I’ll be tellin’ ’em, thin, that me dad’ll lick ’em an’ 
it’s backin’ him up ye’ll be. 

Mrs. O’N. —Arrah, now, ye spalpane ye, an’ don’t 
ye know enough to kape mum wid a gintleman’s 
name whin he does be makin’ terrums wid yez ? 

S. G .—Thank you, madam, thank you. I see you 
understand the situation. 

Mrs. O’N. —Shuer, an’ Oi do. But Oi think ye 
moight be makin’ it a dollar. 

S. G .—All right, madam, all right; I always try 
to be liberal with my friends. But remember, 
Jimmy, it’s to be no fighting and no names men¬ 
tioned. 

Mrs. O’N. —An’ Pat will be tickled, sor, whin he 
hears that ye do be tachin’ Jimmy the ropes an’ him 
that young. 

S. G .—It won’t take a bright boy, like Jimmy, long 
to learn. He’ll be as good a man as Pat by the time 
he’s as old. 

Mrs. O’N. —Shuer, an’ Pat is a sharp wan if Oi 
do be sayin’ it mesilf. He says to me, says he, “It 
ain’t Spoutem Gassy that’s a carryin’ the Sixth; it’s 
mesilf that’s doin’ it.” 

S. G. —Certainly, madam, they seemed to drink in 
his words, as you might say. 

Mrs. O’N. —Well, Jimmy, darlint, an’ Oi think we 
must be goin’. (They rise.) 

S. G. —I’m charmed to have met you, Mrs. O’Neal, 
and this bright boy of Pat’s. Good night, madam; 
good night, Jimmy. 


98 


castle’s school entertainments 


Mrs. O’N .—Till the gintilmon good noight, 
Jimmy. 

Jimmy .—Good noight, sor. (Just as they are 
about to disappear.) Say, maw, an’ do ye ’spose he’s 
good fer that dollar ? He don’t look loike he was. 

S. G .—Little imp! I’d like to take him across my 
knee. Wonder how many more constituents I’ll have 
to buy up? (Sound of discordant music outside.) 
That’s the boys coming to serenade me. I must shut 
off that noise before they scandalize this respectable 
neighborhood. (Goes to door.) Come in, boys, come 
right in. I’d like to hear some more of that fine 
music, but the fact is my wife has a bad headache. 
[Enter several toughs. Hans Schmidt somewhat in¬ 
toxicated. S. G. shakes hands all around.'] 

S. G. —flow are you, Dan ? 

Dan. —How air ye, Mr. President ? 

S. G. —How are you, Joe ? 

Joe. —0. K. How’s yourself ? 

John. —Hello, Gassy! The old Sixth brought you 
through in good shape. 

S. G .—I shall remember the old Sixth. Hello, 
Dick! 

Hans .—Dot vos so; beat ’em like der dickens. 

S. G .—Hello, Hans ! What’s the matter with you ? 

Hans .—Sorry .you vas ’lected. 

S. G .—Ha, ha, ha ! How’s that, Hans ? 

Hans .—You not sed ’em up no more after you vas 
’lected. 

S. G .—Think so? How, see here, Hans, I’m going 


castle’s school entertainments 


99 


to give this five to Dan and you boys go down to Pat’s 
and have a jollification, 

Hans. —Yaw; dot makes me'veel goot. 

Dan. —How’ll you feel in the morning when Ka¬ 
trina gets after you? 

Hans. —Dot vas none your peesness. Gome on, 
poys, les sed ’em up. 

Denis. —It’s y^ersilf will be' settin’ down prisintly. 

Hans .—I knock you town purdy zoom 

S. G. —Keep cool, Hans, keep cool 

Hans.- —Keep school yerself, Spoutem Gassy. 

S. G. —Ha, ha, ha! All right, Hans. That’s 
rather in my line now, you know. Well, good night, 
boys. Hope you’ll have a glorious time. 

Dan. —You bet your sweet life we will. 

Hans .—Bet-cher. [ They pass out with various 
adieus. “So long.—Be good to yerself.—Be good to 
the school mams.—Good night, Spoutem, old boy .— 
Ta, ta,” etc.] 

S. G .—Good riddance. Must keep on the right 
side of the Sixth, though. Might want to climb higher 
on the political ladder. (Door bell rings.) Come in. 
[Enter pretty young girl of the gushing, giggling 
type.] 

S. G. —Pardon my unceremoniousness, Miss Pret- 
tymaid. I did not think of its being a lady. I 
thought it was some of the boys dropping in to con¬ 
gratulate me as quite a number have been doing. 

Miss P .—Oh, have they? Maybe I’d better go 
then. I didn’t think of that. When papa said you 


100 castle’s school entertainments 

were elected I was so pleased I just ran right over to 
congratulate you. I’m so impulsive. (Giggles.) 

S. G. —Thank you, Miss Pretty maid. Your con¬ 
gratulations give me more pleasure than any I have 
received. 

Miss P. —It’s awfully sweet in you to say so, Mr. 
Gassy. Mr. Goodman never said anything nice, like 
that. I went to see him several times to see about 
getting a place in the school and he never gave me a 
mite of encouragement. He said he thought older, 
more experienced persons made better teachers. 
[Mrs. G. appears in door unobserved bij S. G. and 
Miss P.] 

S. G. —I think a love of the beautiful should be 
cultivated in our schools, and it strikes me some of 
those prim, experienced old maids wouldn’t be very 
well qualified along that line. 

Miss P. — (Giggling.) Oh ! Mr. Gassy, you’re too 
funny for anything! Do you really think I’d stand 
a chance? You know I’m a graduate. The professor, 
himself, said I might as well graduate; I wouldn’t 
know a thing more if I went ten years longer. 

S. G. —So far as I am concerned I should enjoy 
my official visits better if there was at least one pretty 
maid among the teachers. 

Miss P. — (Giggling.) Oh! Mr. Gassy, you’re too 
cute! 

S. G. —But you know it would have to be voted 
upon by the entire board. 

Miss P. —The President would have lots of influ¬ 
ence, though, wouldn’t he? 


castle’s school entertainments 101 


8. G. —Naturally, if he were not too modest. It’s 
going to be pretty hard on a modest man like me. 

Miss P. —Mercy, it would scare me to death! But 
you just talk right up to them, Mr. Gassy. Well, I’ll 
come over and talk to you some other time. Some of 
your friends might he coming in. Good night, Mr. 
Gassy. [Mr. G. opens door for her and places strong 
emphasis on her name.] 

S. G. —Good night, Miss Pretty maid. [Mr. G. 
turns , beholds wife and loolcs sheepish.] 

Mrs. G. (Mimicing.) —Good night, Miss Pretty- 
maid. You’re a pretty man , ain’t you? 

S. G. —I have been considered so, my dear. 

Mrs. G. —Your knowledge of the beautiful needs 
cultivating. 

S. G. —Didn’t I show pretty good taste when I 
married you ? 

Mrs. G. —Spoutem Gassy, you may fool Polly 
Prettymaid, but you can’t soft-soap me. You mar¬ 
ried me for my money, and it’s the only sensible 
thing I ever knew you to do. 

S. G. —Nonsense, Maria, you’re jealous of that 
silly little chit. Why, you’re worth a dozen of her. 

Mrs. G. —Taken at a cash valuation, I suppose. 

S. G. —Oh! come, Maria, don’t be nasty! 

Mrs. G. —I shall accompany you on those “official 
calls?’ and see how many pretty maids there are 
among the teachers. 

S. G. —I can tell you Polly Prettymaid won’t be 
among them. She’d never be elected in the world. 

Mrs. G. —Shall I tell her you said so ? 


102 castle’s school entertainments 


S. G. —Oli! hang it; do anything you please! 
You’re bound to, anyway. 

Mrs. G .—Some day, Spoutem, you’ll find that it 
pays to be honest and clean; but I’m afraid it will 
take you a long time to find it out. Now you just 
lock that outside door and take yourself off to bed. 
There’s been enough foolishness here for one night. 

8. G .—All right, Maria, I rather think so myself. 
[Lochs door and passes out, followed by Mrs. G. with 
lamp.'] 


Harriet D. Castle. 


castle’s school entertainments 


103 


GOOD NIGHT 


For several little ones in pretty night dresses and 
caps. They throw kisses while repeating “Good night.” 

"We’ve hung our stockings in a row, 

We’ve hung them good and tight, 

And merrily to bed we’ll go. 

Good night, good night, good night. 

We’d like to see old Santa’s face 
A-shining with delight, 

When he comes down the chimney place. 
Good night, good night, good night. 

But if we stay awake, oh my! 

He wouldn’t come to-night. 

We’d like to know the reason why. 

Good night, good night, good night. 

So we must go to bed, you know, 

And shut our eyes up tight. 

• We’ll say our prayers, before we go. 

Good night, good night, good night. 

Play prelude while children kneel, lay palms together, 
incline heads to left and lay cheek on back of right 
hand. Let every movement be in exact time. Let 
unseen singers sing the prayer. Do not begin to sing 
until children have taken sleeping positions. 

Prayer. 

“Now I lay me down to sleep, 

[1] I pray the Lord my soul to keep; 

If I should die, before I wake, 

I pray the Lord my soul to take: 

And this I ask for Jesus sake. Amen.” 

Clasp hands and bow heads. Burn red light. Curtain. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 



104 castle’s school entertainments 


RECITATIONS FOR INTERMEDIATE 
GRADES 


LITTLE YANKEE DOODLE 


When Yankee Doodle was a boy, 

Jnst thirteen, so they state, sir, 

Columbia taught him how to make 
A cup of tea first rate, sir. 

The water of all Boston Bay 
He used to make that tea, sir, 

And still ’twas strong enough, they say, 
To swim right out to sea, sir. 

He made a tea party, you see, 

For those who loved the crown, sir, 

And, though ’twas English Breakfast Tea, 
They couldn’t keep it down, sir. 

And so they threw it overboard, 

Right into Boston Bay, sir: 

Although in port, they all behaved 
In quite a seasick way, sir. 

Columbia taught him, next, to make 
A Yankee pumpkin pie, sir; 

And then she taught him how to bake 
Those Boston beans—oh my! sir. 




castle’s school entertainments 105 


So on internal revenue 

That little Yankee throve, sir, 

Columbia had enough to do 
Just letting out his clothes, sir. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


JOHNNY’S PA 


My pa he always went to school, 
He says an’ studied hard. 

W’y, when he’s just as old as me, 
He knew things by the yard! 
Arithmetic? he knew it all, 

From dividend to sum, 

But when he tells me how it was, 
My grandma she says 4 ‘ hum! ’ ’ 

My pa he always got the prize 
For never bein’ late, 

An’ when they studied joggerfy, 
He knew ’bout every state. 

He says he knew the rivers an’ 
Knew all their outs and ins, 
But when he tells us all of that 
My grandma she just grins. 

My pa he never missed a day 
A-goin’ to the school, 

An , never played no hookey nor 
Forgot the teacher’s rule; 




castle’s school entertainments 


An’ ev’ry class h’s ever in 
The rest he always led. 

My grandma when pa talks that way 
Just laughs and shakes her head. 

My grandma says ’at boys is boys, 

The same as pas is pas, 

An’ when I ast her what she means 
She says it is “because.” 

She says ’at little boys is best 
When they grow up to men, 

Because they know how good they were 
An’ tell their children then. 

—Baltimore American. 


THE MUM FAMILY 


There is a funny family, 

Of which I often hear, 

In which the difference in size 
To me seems very queer. 

The family, I judge, is small— 

Two seems to be the sum— 

And Minnie Mum the one is called; 
The other, Max I. Mum. 

Now Minnie Mum is always shown 
To be exceeding small, 

While Max I. Mum a giant is, 

So very large and tall. 




castle’s school entertainments 107 


But hand in hand they march about 
As fond as fond can be, 

And proud they are to let the world 
Their striking contrast see. 

This thought I might have given you 
In one short rhyming verse, 

And that would be the minimum, 

Or, what would be much worse, 

Through stanzas something like a score 
My muse I might let hum 
To tell the same, and that, you see, 

Would be the maximum, 

—Arthur J. Burdick. 


TWINS 


Two dear little brothers I happen to know, 

They are rosy and dimpled and wee, 

But one tiny twin is a little bit slow, 

While the other is brisk as a bee. 

Your copy-book, from the first page to the back, 
He travels with diligent care, 

And behind him he leaves such a beautiful track 
Of penmanship upright and fair. 

Then grasping a pencil, he ventures to climb 
A long row of figures, and so 
Like Jack up the bean-stalk, one step at a time, 
Straight on to the top he will go. 




108 castle’s school entertainments 

Then down the next column, in safety at last, 

He comes without blunder or trip, 

While his kind little twin holds the slate firm and 
fast, 

For fear that perhaps it might slip. 

For he likes to be useful, although he is slow, 

And these good little brothers, they say, 

Have never once quarreled, and always they go 
Together to work or to play. 

Though sometimes one brother (of course by mis¬ 
take) 

Cuts his twin with your little jack-knife, 

Or pounds him instead of a nail, yet they make 
Such mishaps no occasion for strife. 

And now can you guess who these merry mates 
are? 

Just think a bit ere you begin; 

First, who is the brother that travels so far? 

And who is his kind, helpful twin? 

But if you can’t guess them, why, then I must 
tell; 

Look down in your lap; don’t you see 
Two nice, handy brothers, as sturdy and well, 

And like as two brothers can be? 

—Per sis Gardiner. 


castle’s school entertainments 


109 


LITTLE WALTER’S PA AS A DRIVER 


My pa lived on a farm when he 
Was just a little boy like me; 

He used to drive the horses there 
’Crost railroad tracks and everywhere. 

One Sunday pa he said: “I guess 
I’ll get a horse to-day, and le’s 
Go buggy-ridin’, fur away, 

And take our lunch, and stay all day. ’ ’ 

At first ma didn’t like to go, 

Because the horse might cut up so; 

But pa said: “Pshaw! They’ll be no harm, 
’Cause once I lived out on a farm.” 

At last ma she give in, and then 
She dressed the baby up, and when 
Pa brought the horse and buggy, ma 
Said: “Now, be careful, won’t you, pa?” 

“Oh, pshaw! Don’t be afraid,” pa said, 

And told the horse to go ahead. 

The baby was behind with ma, 

And I set up in front with pa. 

The horse went decent till at last 
A no tty mobile scootin’ fast 
Come tearin’ down the road as though 
It was wound up and had to go. 

The horse stood up and pawed the air, 

And something seemed to make pa’s hair 



110 castle’s school entertainments 

All bristly, and his eyes—oh, gee! 

But they looked queer, it seemed to me. 

His face got white, and then he said 
To me, a-whisperin’, “We’re dead!” 

But we got by at last, and then 
The horse behaved himself again. 

When we were home ma said she knew 
That pa would know just what to do. 

She said she knew they’d be no harm, 

’Cause pa had lived out on a farm. 

And pa he held his head up high 
And said “of course,” and that was why 
He took us out to ride, because 
They’d be no danger where he was. 

I wonder if God loves folks who 
Pretend they don’t do what they do, 

And when you’re scared enough to die 
And don’t let on, is that a lie? 

—A. E. Kiser. 


MY SCHOOL-DAY FRIENDS 


Sometimes I go, reflectively, 

On journeys retrospectively, 

And for the moment dwell amid the scenes of long 
ago; 




castle’s school entertainments 111 


And on such outings, as a rule, 

I wander to the dear old school, 

And visit with the boys and girls whom there I 
used to know. 

Perchance you were acquainted, too, 

With many old-time friends I knew; 

You may have met Ann Alysis and, also, Ann 
Elize; 

Or, maybe, chummed with Algy Bray, 

Or sauntered with Phil Osophy, 

Or delved with Ed Ucation, who was wont to be 
so wise. 

And there was Etta Mology, 

Ah, yes, and Ann Thropology, 

And Polly Gon and Polly Glot and Polly This and 
That; 

You may have glanced at Ella Cution, 

Cast a smile at Eva Lution, 

Or with Ella Mentary enjoyed a little chat. 

Now all those friends I used to see 
Are half-forgotten dreams to me, 

Yet once within my thoughts they held a quite 
important place; 

But they commenced “commencement day” 
From memory to slip away. 

Till now I’d scarcely know them if I met them face 
to face. 


—Nixon Waterman. 


112 castle’s school entertainments 


PRETTY SOON AND BY-AND-BY 


Pretty Soon and By-and-By 
Call us day by day; 

They are cunning, they are shy, 
Stealing time away: 

Comes grave Opportunity 
Calling to us: “Rise, 

Gird yourselves and follow me 
Out where glory lies”; 

But we linger, listening 

While the precious moments fly 
To the luring song they sing 
Pretty Soon and By-and-By. 

There are duties we have set 
For ourselves to do; 

Most of mine are waiting yet, 

How is it with you? 

There are kindly acts we mean 
To perform some day. 

There are stains that we shall clean 
From our hearts away, 

But we linger, loth to go, 

And we listen, you and I, 

To their crooning soft and low, 
Pretty Soon and By-and-By. 

Pretty Soon and By-and-By 
Seldom help to roll 
Back obstructions hard and high 
That shut out the goal; 



castle’s school entektainments 113 


They are sirens singing where 
Failure’s wasting time, 

They have faces that are fair, 
But their feet are slime! 

All around them bleaching bones 
Of their foolish victims lie— 
Woe is in their luring tones, 
Pretty Soon and By-and-By. 


A MENTAL FAMILY TREE 


We were talking in the schoolyard about our 
family trees, 

And Gertrude said hers could be traced to Sir 
Horatio Freeze; 

And Rufe said he’d descended from the governor 
of a State; 

And Louie mentioned ancestors of hers about as 
great, 

While Reggie said his lineage embraced a lord, he 
knew; 

And Nell from her great-great-grandsire obtained 
her blood so blue; 

But neither of the little Smiths could say a single 
word; 

For them to boast their ancient name of course 
would be absurd. 




114 CASTLE'S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 

Then teacher, smiling slightly, said that she was 
much inclined 

To think that there was such a thing as blue blood 
of the mind; 

That those who studied hard (and here she beamed 
on Tommy Smith) 

Had certainly descended from men of force and 
pith; 

And those who loved to tend the sick and serve 
the weak and frail 

Were morally related to Florence Nightingale. 

(Here Jennie Smith blushed to the ears.) And 
when she saw a youth 

(How bright she smiled at Johnny Smith) who 
always told the truth 

At school, at home, or when he was at work or 
having fun 

She knew him for a relative of General Wash¬ 
ington. 

But Reggie doesn’t like such talk; he says it 
seems to throw 

So much responsibility upon yourself, you know. 

—Ethelwyn Wether aid. 


UNCLE BILL 


My Uncle Bill’s the bestest man ’at you most ever 
met, 

An’ he’s told me heaps of things—I ain’t forgot 
’em yet; 




castle’s school entertainments 115 


An’ some of ’em’s so wonderful ’at I don’t hardly 
know— 

An’- yet for sure they must be right, ’cause Uncle 
Bill said so. 

Uncle Bill, he says ’at when a boy is very, awful 
good, 

An’ don’t do nothin’ he oughtn’t to, an’ every¬ 
thing he should, 

They put him in a museum, an’ label him “ Be¬ 
ware ! 

This comes of early pie-eat-he!” You’ll never 
find me there! 

An’ then he says the moon is more’n a hundred 
miles away, 

An’ always has four quarters, too, an’ not a cent 
to pay; 

An’ people there are luna-tics, an’ from their very 
birth 

They spend their time jest eatin’ cheese an’ rub¬ 
berin’ at the earth. 

An’ Uncle Bill he told me once a woman’s like a 
rose, 

All sweet an’ fresh an’ dewy, ’at on the home¬ 
brush grows, 

Made to be loved an’ cared for—they’re thorny, 
too, I guess— 

An’ when you put ’em somewhere else they mostly 
make a mess. 


116 castle’s school entertainments 

An’ he told me ’at Santa Claus lived up to the 
north pole, 

An’ used it for a poker when he stirred his winter 
coal; 

When summer comes he takes an ax an’ drives it 
in the ground, 

An’ that’s the reason, plain enough, the north pole 
ain’t been found. 

An’ he says, too, ’at gooseberries were not laid by 
a goose; 

An’ when a man is very tight is always when he’s 
loose; 

He says ’at old black Jason is the whitest man he 
knows; 

’At codfish make the sea salt, an’ a dandelion 
blows. 

He says a man, to get along, must have a lot of 
sand; 

An’ then he says a whole lot more ’at I can’t 
understand. 

But I am goin’ to keep right on a-learnin’ more, 
until 

Sometime when I get big I’ll know as much as 
Uncle Bill. 


— W. H. Pierce. 


castle’s school entertainments 117 


THE OLD MILLPOND 


Did you ever brave the perils 
Of the vasty deep? 

Where the bullfrog moans and mumbles 
And the tadpoles weep? 

Ah, but I have, and I cherish 
Recollections fond 
Of those days of navigation 
On the old millpond. 

There were Charlie, Frank and Oscar 
And myself; we four 
Sailed that vast expanse of water 
Very often o’er. 

Brave, intrepid were the seamen, 

Steady was our craft— 

Odds and ends of bits of lumber 
Made into a raft. 

Once we visited an island, 

Wishing to explore, 

And we moored our trusty vessel 
On the island’s shore. 

While we roamed, the land exploring, 
Unconcerned and gay, 

Ruthless waves our craft belabored, 
Washed the raft away. 

But to seamen such as we were, 
Traversing the wave, 

Shipwreck was a trifling matter— 

We were dauntless, brave. 



118 castle’s school entertainments 

Tying up our clothes in bundles, 

So they dry would keep, 

Naked swam we to the mainland 
Through the vasty deep. 

Many years have passed since that day; 

Sailors still are we, 

Buffeting the waves that roll on 
Life’s tempestuous sea; 

But through all the storms I cherish 
Recollections fond 
Of those days of navigation 
On the old millpond. 

—Arthur J. Burdick. 


VACATION SONG 


Tune: “Suwanee River.” 

Once comes again the joyous season, 
Summer is here; 

School over, work and study ended, 
Vacation dear! 

Hear the woodland voices calling, 
Birdies, brooks and flowers. 

Haste from the hot and crowded city, 
Rest in the fragrant bowers. 




castle’s school entertainments 119 


All through the bright and gladsome Summer 
Vacation’s'ours; 

Joyous we hail with happy freedom 
Long, sunny, restful hours. 

Hail, Vacation, happy season, 

Books now closed must be, 

Green woodland shade so cool invites us, 
Spreading its balm so free. 

When the yellow leaves and red of Autumn 
Tinge forest grand, 

Then to the now deserted school-room 
Turns back the merry band. 

Now, Vacation we will hasten 
Far from toil and care, 

September’s call again will find us 
Ready for duty there. 

—A. M. K. 


FOR FLAG DAY, JUNE 14. 

This little flag a secret has 
That it would like to tell; 

It whispers softly: Betsey Ross 
Did all her tasks so well 
That when they wished good needlework 
To grace a banner fair, 

’Twas said, ‘Oh, she’s the very one 




120 castle’s school entertainments 

Who must our flag prepare! ’ ’ ’ 

Hear each flag echo: “You and I 
Must do our best in all we try.” 

The flag would speak of Betsey Ross; 

I hear it say to me: 

“She looked for beauty everywhere, 

And trained her eyes to see; 

So she could show the generals 
That ’mong the stars we know, 

The shape most pretty smiles above 
Where five points dance and glow.” 

And now we hear from every star: 

“Teach eyes to see where beauties are.” 

My flag now says of Betsey Ross 
Some things we should regard. 

“She did not fear to undertake 
A task that might prove hard, 

She heard the tone of duty’s voice, 

And answered with a will, 

And now a nation comes to praise 
Her handiwork and skill.” 

And stripes are singing as they wave 
“Though tasks are hard, let hearts be brave.” 

—Lettie Sterling. 


castle’s school entertainments 121 


PROBLEMS FOR THE FOURTH 

’Twas a warm June day, and the children in 
school 

Were quite strongly tempted to break every rule; 

And they sighed and they fidgeted over each 
sum, 

And wondered if three o ’clock never would come; 

For to multiply nine by a hundred and five, 

Subtract seven pints from eight quarts, or con¬ 
trive 

To divide eighty trees into seventeen rows 

Is not quite so easy as some folks suppose! 

So the dear little girls and the dear little boys 

Sat wishing for vacation time and its joys, 

When the teacher looked up from the book on his 
knees, 

And said, “Now, dear children, all look at me, 
please. 

If the first of July comes next Monday, who 
knows 

What day Thursday’ll be?” Then a glad shout 
arose— 

“The Fourth of July!” Every youngster knew 
that, 

And answered as quick as the drop of a hat! 

“Correct!” said the teacher. “Now, Sylvia Knox, 

If giant torpedoes cost five cents a box, 

How many such boxes will fifty cents buy?” 



122* castle’s school entertainments 


And Sylvia answered ere you could spell “fly,” 

“Ten boxes, sir.” “Yes,” cried the teacher, 
that’s right! 

I wonder what’s happened to make you so bright! 

Johnny Jones, firecrackers are three cents a bunch. 

If you use up twelve packs between daybreak and 
lunch, 

And you had just two dollars at first in your 
pockets, 

How much would be left for squibs, pinwheels and 
rockets?” 

Then you should have seen how the children set to 

To find out the answer ere Johnny was through. 

And you should have seen all their hands raised 
at once! 

Every child knew the answer; there wasn’t one 
dunce! 

So with sums in punk, powder, volcanoes and 
strings 

Of Japanese lanterns, the time flew on wings. 

And at last, when the children were sent off to 
play, 

Johnny Jones called to Sylvia Knox, “Oh, I say! 

Don’t you wish ’twas to-morrow instead of to-day, 

’Cause then we could go back to school right 
away?” 


— Wilfred E. Knollys. 


castle’s school entertainments 123 


TIMOTHY BROWN 


Oh, Timothy Brown was a terrible scamp, and les¬ 
sons he voted a bore! 

French, grammar, geography, history, sums, he 
vowed he’d not learn any more. 

At the end of a year he knew nothing at all about 
anything under the sun— 

French, grammar, geography, history, sums, he’d 
forgotten them every one. 

One day a rich uncle said, “Timothy Brown, I’ll 
ask you a question or two. 

If I’m 45, and you’re younger than I, how much 
am I older than you?” 

Well, Timothy Brown he thought for awhile, and 
at last he discovered this fact, 

That he hadn’t a notion how long he’d been born, 
and he didn’t know how to subtract. 

“Come, when is your birthday? I’ll give you a 
tip,” said his uncle, and patted his pate, 

But Timothy Brown he burst into tears, he could¬ 
n’t remember the date! 

That’s the end of the story of Timothy Brown— 
A story that’s perfectly true. 

And perhaps there’s a moral for no one at all, and 
perhaps there’s a moral for you! 

—Eric Parker, in November St. Nicholas. 



124 castle’s school entertainments 


THE SKELETON AT THE FEAST 


Gee! But I’d some fun las’ night. 

Kate’s a feller on the string. 

Thinks he knows an awful sight— 

Green as grass, or anything! 

She kep’ lookin’ at the clock, 

Motionin’ fer me to go; 

But I set there like a rock 
Jest a-grinnin’ at her beau. 

He’d say suthin’ dretful low— 

Git his head down dost to her’n, 

’N’ I’d cough, ’n’ she would grow 
Red, as if her face would burn, 

‘N’ they’d set up kind o’ straight 
Fer a spell; but bimeby Jim 
He’d fergit, ’n’ lop to’rds Kate, 

’N’ she’d kind o’ lop to’rds him. 

’N’ I’d cough ag’in. Gee whiz! 

How they’d jump! ’n Kate would say 
“What a nuisance some folks is!” 

’N’ glare at me the worst way. 

’N’ they’d eat ’n’ eat ’n’ eat 
From his candy-box, and she— 

My! she’d try to look so sweet, 

’Ceptin’ when she looked at me! 
Bimeby, all to wunst, he said, 

Kind o’ softsoap like to me: 

“Time all good boys went to bed. 

Here’s some choc’lit creams,” sez he. 



castle’s school entertainments 125 


“Take ’em, take ’em, bub, ’n’ skip.” 

First I tho’t I wouldn’t go; 

But if I let that chance slip 

’Nother mightn’t come, you know. 

So I grabbed the box ’n’ run. 

How he grinned—you ort to see !— 

When I hollered, jest fer fun: 

‘ 1 Say, kiss Kate good-night fer me. ’ ’ 

Kate’s been findin’ fault, I know, 

Fer ma sez to me, to-day: 

“Nex J time Jim comes here, you go 
Right straight off to bed ’n’ stay.” 

—Eben E. Rexford. 


VAIN LITTLE DANDELIONS 


The dandelions, on the green, 

Were very bright and pretty; 

But oh, so very vain they were 
Of all their wealth of golden hair; 

It really was a pity. 

A southern breeze came by one day 
And gave them ardent greeting: 
Though many flattering things he said 
They never turned a golden head 
To-all his soft entreating. 

One day they found their golden hair 
With shining silver threaded: 




126 castle’s school entertainments 

But they were fairer still to view, 

And so puffed up, with pride, they grew, 

They really were light headed. 

The southern breeze came round again 
And, though rebuff he dreaded,. 

He softly whispered, “Oh, how fair!” 

They silent stood, with stately air. 

He touched their fluffy, shining hair 
And left them all baldheaded. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


THE WISH OF THE SMALL BOY 


I wish my clothes was pasted on my back, jes’ 
like a dog’s, 

Or like th’ bark that’s fastened on a pile of hem¬ 
lock logs; 

Then every time I trimmed my kite, or jigged my 
little boat, 

An’ started out, I wouldn’t hear: “Oh, Johnny, 
where’s your coat?” 

About th’ time I’m ready fer t’ drill a little well 

Down by th’ old green waterin’-trough, then ma 
or sister Nell 

Comes out upon th ’ porch an ’ calls: ‘ ‘ Ho, Johnny, 
where’s your hat ? - 

You’ll get a sunstroke runnin’ roun’ bareheaded, 
boy, like that!” 




castle’s school entertainments 127 


Th’ fellers of my gang come up an’ holler at our 
gate: 

‘ 1 Come on, we’re goin’ fishin’, Jack!” But. gee! 
I got t’ wait 

Till ma has sewed a button on an’ stitched a rip- 
pin’ hem 

’Fore I kin git my fishin’-pole, an’ foiler after 
’em. 

One day when me an’ Nell was huntin’ berries 
down th ’ lane 

Th’ hired man.rattled by—he had a wagon-load 
of grain; 

An’ he’d a’taken me along, if Nell jes’ hadn’t 
said: 

“He can’t go into town without a hat upon his 
head. ’ ’ 

In winter, when th’ sleddin’ an’ th’ skatin’s 
cornin’ in, 

I never leave th’ house but what I’m ordered back 
ag’in 

T’ bundle up “in somethin’ warm”—an’ so I’ve 
got t’ tote 

A pair of skates an’ rubber shoes an’ gloves an’ 
overcoat! 

An’ after supper, when th’ spooks of night begin 
t’ creep, 

I get t’ lookin’ in the fire, an’ sudden fall asleep; 

Then pa, he has t’ lift me up, an’ while I nod an’ 
doze, 


128 castle’s school entertainments 


Ma turns th’ covers on my bed, an’ lie slips off 
my clothes. 

An’ in th’ mornin’, when th’ birds is singin’ in 
th’ trees, 

I’m later gittin’ out than all th’ chipmunks an’ 
the bees, 

Jes’ cause I have t’ sit aroun’ a-pullin’ at a shoe 

That won’t go on fer knotted strings, or cause it’s 
wet with dew. 

That’s why I wish my coat was pasted on me, like 
a dog’s, 

Or like th’ bark that’s fastened on a pile of hem¬ 
lock logs; 

Then every time I wished t ’ have a swim or take a 
doze 

I wouldn’t have t’ wait till I had shed my Sunday 
clothes. 

—Aloysius Coll. 


THE SQUIRREL’S PHILOSOPHY 


Yes, I’m a queer fellow—a curious chap— 

I chatter and frisk over every mishap; 

When things seem forbidding, horizons loom gray, 
I still find the sunshine, just over the way— 
Here’s a nut ready cracked, you may pass it 
around.. 




castle’s school entertainments 129 


Yon never will yet keep a squirrel on the ground! 
It is not my nature to grovel, you see, 

I’m off, with a bound, to the top of the tree! 
While seemingly dancing and laughing in play, 

I gather my hoard for the cold winter day. 

Remember, my friend, for the lesson is clear, 
Don’t yield to “the blues” and look solemn and 
queer; 

But up with the dawn and the squirrel never stop. 
And choice nuts of wisdom we ’ll gather and drop; 
For the gloomy old world we can brighten with 
song. 

Just carol a bit, as you journey along, 

Keep working and saving to add to your store; 
But, if you should lose it, why, start in for more! 
One kernel of truth you can treasure from me: 

The finest nuts grow in the top of the tree. 


WILLY NILLY 


Once, upon an autumn day, 

Down the road I chanced to stray, 

When I saw a little squirrel, in a tree: 

And I said, “Oh tell me, pray, 

Why you work, this pleasant day? 

And what makes you chatter, chatter as in glee ? ’ ’ 
“I must store my nuts away 
For a stormy winter day.” 

And he chattered, chattered, chattered merrily. 




130 castle’s school entertainments 

Then a little bee came near 
Full of business, ’twas clear, 

And he sang a little song of busy cheer. 

And I said, 4 ‘Oh, busy bee, 

Come and rest a while, with me.” 

But the busy bee made answer, “Much I fear 
Winter days are coming soon, 

When the flowers cease to bloom,” 

And went singing to a blossom growing near. 

But alas, alack a day! 

For the next to pass that way 
Was a weeping little laddie, sad to see. 

On his forehead was a frown 
And his mouth was drawing down: 

And I said, “Whatever can the matter be?” 

“Oh, I have to go to school, 

Mind the lessons and the rule.” 

And went weeping, weeping, weeping on his way. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


“G” 

There’s a little bit of a fellow whose name you 
all know well, 

Who has a pitiful grievance of which I wish to tell. 

He makes but little pretension, is satisfied all the 
while 

To linger around the ends of things and finish 
them up in style. 



castle’s school entertainments 131 


But plenty of boys and girls, he says, and folk 
much older, too, 

Seem often bent on slighting him in a way they 
shouldn’t do. 

They’re cuttin’ him off and shuttin’ him out and 
snubbin’ him, one by one, 

Till he really can scarcely hear himself from morn 
to set of sun. 

Dressin’ and eatin’ and drinkin’—they’re always 
keepin’ him down. 

While talkin’, too, and studyin’, too, or goin’ 
about the town. 

Now I want to put it before you the boys and girls 
and all, 

If it isn’t mean and unfair and hard to crowd 
against the wall 

And shove him out of his proper place—set him 
off on a shelf— 

A wee little modest fellow who can never help 
himself ? 

And the worst of it all is coming, that when this 
wrong you do 

It is not only bad for him, but very much worse 
for you. 

So now, young friends, with your dainty ways, 
who always wish to please, 

Don’t let your tongues do careless work, but try 
and mind your g’s. 


—Sidney Dayre. 


132 


castle’s school entertainments 


JUST A MINUTE 


A boy once faced a task, and knew 
He should begin it; 

He could not start to put it through 
For ‘ ‘ just a minute. ’ ’ 

And though the case demanded speed, 
He could not move just then; but he’d 
Be ready for it—yes, indeed, 

In “just a minute.” 

His purposes were out of rhyme 
By “just a minute.” 

The whole world seemed ahead of time 
By “just a minute.” 

He could not learn to overhaul 
His many duties, large and small, 

But made them wait, both one and all, 
For “just a minute.” 

In manhood he was still delayed 
By “just a minute.” 

He might have won, had fortune stayed 
For “just a minute.” 

But at the end of life he railed 
At cruel fate, and wept and wailed, 
Because he knew that he had failed 
By “just a minute.” 


— Answers. 



castle’s school entertainments 

BOYS 

Now, if anyone has an easy time 
In this world of push and pull, 

It is not the boy of the family, 

For his hands are always full. 

I’d like to ask, who fills the stove? 
Where is the girl who could? 

Who brings in water, who lights the fire, 

And splits the kindling wood? 

And who is it that cleans the walks 
After hours of snowing? 

In summer, who keeps down the weeds, 
By diligently hoeing? 

And who must harness the faithful horse, 
When the girls would ride about? 

And who must clean the carriage off ? 

The boy, you’ll own, no doubt. 

And who does the many other things 
Too numerous to mention? 

The boy is the ‘ 4 general utility man, ’ ’ 

And really deserves a pension. 

Friends! Just praise the boy sometimes, 
When he does his very best; 

And don’t always want the easy chair 
When he’s taking a little rest. 

Don’t let him always be the last 
To see the new magazine; 

And sometimes let the boy be heard, 

As well as to be seen. 


133 


134 castle’s school entertainments 

# That boys are far from perfect 
Is understood by all; 

But they have hearts, remember, 

For ‘‘men are boys grown tall.” 

And when a boy has been working 
His level best for days, 

It does him good, I tell you, 

To have some hearty praise! 

He is not merely a combination 
Of muddy boots and noise, 

And he likes to be looked upon 
As one of the family joys. 


WHEN THOMAS TAKES HIS PEN 


Young Thomas Jones came home from school with 
sad and solemn air; 

He did not kiss his mother’s cheek nor pull his 
sister’s hair; 

He hungered not for apples, and he spoke in dis¬ 
mal tones; 

’Twas very clear misfortune drear had happened 
Thomas Jones. 

“My precious child,” his mother cried, “what, 
what is troubling you ? 

You’re hurt—you’re ill—you’ve failed in school! 
Oh, tell us what to do! ” 




castle’s school entertainments 135 


Then Thomas Jones made answer in a dull, de¬ 
spairing way: 

“I’ve got to write an essay on “The Indian To¬ 
day.” 

His tallest sister ran to him, compassion in her eye j 

His*smallest sister pitied him—nor knew the 
reason why; 

And all that happy family forsook its work and 
play 

To hunt up information on “The Indian To-day.” 

They read of Hiawatha and of sad Ramona’s 
woe— 

You found encyclopedias where’er they chanced to 
go. 

They bought a set of Cooper, and they searched it 
through and through, 

While Thomas Jones sat mournfully and told them 
what to do. 

For three whole days the library was like a mov¬ 
ing van. 

“Is Mr. Jones,” each caller asked, “a literary 
man?” 

And day by day more pitiful became young Thom¬ 
as ’ plight, 

Because, alas! the more he read, the more he could 
not write. 

“Write what you know,” his mother begged (she 
stirred not from his side). 


136 castle’s school entertainments 

“I do not know one single thing!” that wretched 
child replied. 

“Oh, help me, won’t you? Don’t you care?” 
Then, when assistance came: 

“ Don’t tell me—don’t! It isn’t fair! ” he pleaded 
just the same. 

The night before the fateful day was quite the 
worst of all. 

Black care upon the house of Jones descended like 
a pall. 

All pleasure paled, all comfort failed, and laughter 
seemed a sin; 

For “Oh, to-morrow,” Thomas wailed, “it must 
be handed in!” 

When, lo! the voice of Great-aunt Jones came 
sternly through the door; 

“I cannot stand this state of things one single 
minute more! 

The training of a fractious child is plainly not my 
mission; 

But—Thomas Jones, go straight upstairs and write 
that composition!” 

And Thomas Jones went straight upstairs, and sat 
him down alone, 

And—though I grant a stranger thing was surely 
never known— 

In two short hours he returned serenely to display 

Six neatly-written pages on “The Indian To¬ 
day!” 


castle’s school entertainments 137 

His teacher read them to the class, and smiled a 
well-pleased smile; 

She praised the simple language and the calmly 
flawing style; 

“For while,” she said, “he does not rise to any 
lofty height, 

’Tis wonderful how easily young Thomas Jones 
can write.” 

—Elsie Hill, in St. Nicholas. 


GAB 

I reckon if speed had been sprawl, 

He’d a-clim’ to the very top notch. 

As it was, though, he made jest one crawl 
To a perch in a next-the-ground crotch. 

As others went climbin’, he balked 
In Industry’s towerin’ tree. 

He sot and he talked and he talked and he talked, 
‘ 4 Says I and says he and says she! ’ ’ 

There was men didn’t know half as much 
And hadn’t the science o’ gab. 

But they dim’ like the very old Dutch, 

With their grit and their gumption and grab. 

But he, though he knowed it most all, 

Sot poundin’ the trunk of the tree, 

Contented to argy and bicker and brawl: 

“Says I and says she and says he!” 



138 castle’s school entertainments 

His neighbors went gruntin’ up past, 

A-diggin ’ their toe-nails right in, 

To trunk and to limb dingin’ fast, 

Jest bound and determined to win. 

He’d say as he’d see ’em go by, 

“I’ll ketch ye all right up the tree!” 

And then his old tongue would unlimber and fly: 
“Says I and says he and says she!” 

For years his good wife kept him propped 
As he sot there a-straddle that limb; 

He didn’t take heed—would ’a’ dropped 
If she hadn’t clung holt of her Jim. 

So tarnal took up with his tongue 
That he hadn’t no eyes for to see 
How she sp’iled while he’d sot there a-pumpin’ a 
lung: 

< 1 Says I and says he and says she! ’ ’ 

His neighbors they propped him a spell 
When death had unloosened her holt, 

But at last they unclinched and he fell, 

And he fetched the poor-farm with a jolt. 
There he tells how it all might ’a ’ ben, 

Explains how the world ought to be; 

How he’d do if he only could try it again: 

‘ ‘ Says I and says she and says he! ” 

—Holman F. Day. 


castle’s school entertainments 


139 


NOBILITY 


True worth is in being, not seeming— 

In doing each day that goes by 
Some little good—not in the dreaming 
Of great things to do by and by. 

For whatever men say in blindness 
And spite of the fancies of youth, 

There’s nothing so kingly as kindness, 

And nothing so royal as truth. 

We get back our mete as our measure— 

We cannot do wrong and feel right, 

Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure, 

For justice avenges each slight. 

The air for the wing of the sparrow, 

The bush for the robin and wren, 

But always the path that is narrow 
And straight, for the children of men. 

’Tis not in the pages of story 
The heart of its ills to beguile, 

Though he who makes courtship to glory 
Gives all that he hath for her smile. 

For when from her heights he has won her, 
Alas! it is only to prove 
That nothing’s so sacred as honor 
And nothing so loyal as love. 

We cannot make bargains for blisses, 

Nor catch them like fishes in nets; 

And sometimes the thing our life misses 
Helps more than the thing which its gets, 



140 castle’s school entertainments 

For good lieth not in pursuing 

Nor gaining of great nor of small, 

But just in the doing, and doing 
As we would be done by, is all. 

Through envy, through malice, through hating 
Against the world, early and late, 

No jot of our courage abating— 

Our part is to work and to wait. 

And slight is the sting of his trouble 
Whose winnings are less than his worth! 

For he who is honest is noble, 

Whatever his fortunes or birth. 

—Alice Cary. 


THE HARD-WORK PLAN 


From the lowest depths of poverty 
To the highest heights of fame, 
From obscureness of position 
To a bright and shining name, 
From the mass of human beings 
Who compose the common clan, 

You can earn your way to greatness 
By the Hard-Work Plan. 

’Twas the key to Lincoln’s progress, 
’Twas the route to Webster’s fame; 
And Garfield, by this method, 

To distinction laid his claim; 




castle’s school entertainments 141 

And all the earth’s noblest heroes, 

Since this old world first began, 

Have earned their way to honor 
By the Hard-Work Plan. 

I knew a rich old banker’s son, 

Who had no aim in view 
But just to sit around and loaf; 

’Twas all he had to do. 

“The ‘Old Man,’ ” he said, “will keep me,” 
And “I don’t have to pay.” 

He earns his bread and butter now 
At fifty cents a day. 

And then I knew another lad; 

His folks had money, too; 

He didn’t sit around and “loaf,” 

But found some work to do. 

The neighbors all were proud of him; 

Say they, “He’ll make a man,” 

He earned his way to greatness 
By the Hard-Work Plan. 

Go read the lives of men of note, 

Consider their success; 

What gave them wealth and eminence ? 

Did luck or genius bless? 

Biography will tell us that 

The race through which they ran, 

Was the contest kn^wn to history 
As the Hard-Work Plan. 


142 castle’s school entertainments 

Don’t worry over genius; 

Don’t say you have no brain; 

Don’t sit and watch the stars of hope 
Till the clouds bring up a rain; 

But up and toil along the road, 

And travel with the van, 

And earn your way to greatness 
By the Hard-Work Plan. 

—Jonathan Jones, in Success. 


“MISTRESS AND MAID” 


Oh! what shall I do, or where shall I go ? 

My “maid” has just gone. 0 dear, what a blow! 

She says that I’m cranky’ and ugly to boot, 

And she banged the front door as a parting salute. 

The woes of a “mistress” no limit can know; 

For this “maid” is stupid, that one too slow; 

Another one saucy, with tongue like a sword, 

Then one comes who doesn’t earn even her board. 

How I long with Robinson Crusoe to change: 

No-complaints did he hear of his “old kitchen 
range.” 

No “improvements” were looked for upon his 
domain, 

While questions of “nights out” ne’er troubled 
his brain. 




castle’s school entertainments 


143 


Why was I not taught the mysterious “art,” 

The making of bread or of light, flaky tart? 

I can play the piano, embroider a screen, 

But my cakes are the worst I ever have seen. 

My palette and brush were in constant demand, 
But to “tickle the palate” I ne’er tried my hand; 
Were my baking as light as my once dancing feet, 
A much greater pleasure ’twould then be to eat. 

The language of pickle to me is quite “dead,” 
For recipes never would stay in my head; 

Like “Meg” the woe-begone story I tell, 

“I’m tired to death, and the jelly won’t jell!” 

I never was taught how to handle a broom, 

Yet I was the first in gymnasium room; 

So now, when disorder and dirt reign supreme, 
Order out of such chaos I never redeem. 

0 mothers! whose daughters stand now on the 
brink 

Where childhood’s hours into womanhood sink, 
Let this be the record of each one to tell: 

“To the ways of her household she looketh full 
well.” 

—Florence N. Wright, in Good Housekeeping. 


144 castle’s school entertainments 

A POOR TOWN TO LIVE IN 


There’s a queer little town—I wonder if you’ve 
seen it— 

“Let-some-one-else-do-it” ’s the name of the 
place, 

And all of the people who’ve lived there for ages, 
Their family tree from the Wearies can trace! 

The streets of this town, so ill kept and untidy, 
And almost deserted from morning till noon, 

Are, “In-just-a-minute”—you’ll see on the lamp- 
post— 

‘ ‘ O-well-there ’s-no-hurry, ’ ’ and * ‘ Y es-pretty- 
soon.” 

The principal work that they do in this hamlet 
(There isn’t a person who thinks it a crime) 

Is loafing and dozing, but most of the people 
Are engaged in the traffic of just-killing-time. 

I pray you, don’t dwell in this town overcrowded; 
There are others nearby it most wondrously fair. 

The roads that lead to them—and each one is 
open— 

Are “Push,” “Pluck,” and “Ready,” “This- 
minute, ’ ’ and ‘ * Dare. ’ ’ 

—Adelbert F. Caldwell. 



CASTLE S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 


145 


ON A DRY-GOODS BOX 

CHARACTERS. 

Sam Loafer, Small Girl, Several Boys, Brisk 
Gentleman, Merchant. 

Sam Loafer, a rather untidy man seated on a dry- 
goods box, whittling. 


Sam (soliloquy). —Well, it seems sort of lonesome 
this morning. Wonder where the boys are? This 
must be gettin’ to be an unfashionable street, too. 
Hain’t a woman or girl passed yet. Don’t give me no 
chance to display my talent. I ought to have a place 
on the editorial staff as fashion editor. Jest ought 
to hear me take off old Mrs. Fleshly’s stockin’s, or 
how Miss Stylish holds up her skirt: sets the boys 
a-roaring every time. [ Little girl comes along. Stops 
and rubs hand over box.'] 

Sam. —What ye lookin’ for, sis? 

Little Girl. —I wanted to see how smooth the box 
was. My papa says you’ve worn it smooth just sit¬ 
ting on it.” 

Sam. —Your dad had better mind his business. 

Little Girl. —Oh, he does! He works real hard. 
My mama is afraid he works too hard. But she says 
she’s glad he isn’t such a good-for-nothing as you 
are.” 





146 castle’s school entertainments 


Sam .—Your ma’s tongue is hung in the middle an’ 
runs at both ends. 

Little Girl (Indignantly .)—My mama’s tongue is 
all right. But she says you've got an awful foul 
tongue. Good-bye, Mr. Loafer, I’m ’fraid I’ll be late 
to school. [Skips off.] 

Sam. —S’pose her ma’s been hearin’ some of my 
sharp remarks. Well, she’d better watch out or she 
might hear some more of ’em. Shakespeare, or some¬ 
body, says “the tongue is sharper’n a two-edged 
sword.” I reckon that’s so, ’specially when it’s a 
sharp feller that’s waggin’ it. 

[Several boys stop , in passing.] 

Boy. —Hello, Sam! What you whittling out to¬ 
day? You ought to try your hand at barbering; 
you’re a tip-top shaver. 

Sam (Complacently.) —Yes, I reckon I’m sharp 
enough to shave ’most anything. 

Another Boy .—Might try your hand at wood carv¬ 
ing, Sam. You have a positive genius for it. 

Sam. —Yes; I reckon my talents air rather divarsi- 
fied. Maybe you didn’t know I was up on fashion 
notes. 

Boy. —Ho, we didn’t. Thought you were up on 
a dry goods box, most of the time. 

Sam. —How, look a-here, boys, don’t get too fresh 
or I’ll get up on my ear an’ lick the whole passel 
of ye. 


castle’s school entertainments 147 

Boy. —Can’t do it, Sam. 

Boy. —Too big a job. 

Boy. —You ain’t in training; muscles of your legs 
too weak. [ Pass on, laughing .] 

Gentleman (Passing briskly.) —Hello, Sam! 
Where’s the rest of the board of trade? Getting 
bored, eh? 

Sam. —Well, now, wonder what he means by that. 

Merchant (Coming from back of stage as if com¬ 
ing out of store.) —Good morning, Sam; I don’t like 
to disturb an old retainer, but I guess I shall have to 
ask you to find a seat on some one else’s dry goods 
box. The fact is the ladies declare they won’t come 
this way so long as you sit there. Hasn’t been one 
in the store this morning, and that makes a big 
difference in trade. 

Sam (Sheepishly.) —A sort of feminine boy-cot, 
eh? Well, I don’t want to clog the busy wheels of 
trade. You might put up a notice that- the fashion 
editor had changed his location. Don’t want to stay 
no longer, anyway. The sun’s gettin’ ’round an’ this 
blamed old dry goods box is gettin’ too hot. So-long. 

Merchant. —Good-bye, Sam. 

[Sam passes off at side, merchant at back.] 

— Harriet D. Castle. . 


148 castle’s school entertainments 


WHEN MOTHER GOOSE TAUGHT SCHOOL 


Reading and Pantomime 
Costumes 

The costumes are too familiar to require description 
excepting, perhaps, the Three Bears. Let each wear a 
fur coat, the Father Bear a silk hat, the Mother Bear a 
wide frilled cap and spectacles, and the Baby Bear a 
child’s sunbonnet. 

Have old chairs with paper bottoms pasted on. 

Pantomime 

The pantomime should be continuous. Enlarge upon 
suggestions, taking care to keep in character and do the 
thing mentioned in the rhyme at the right time. 

Little Boy Blue settles himself for nap. 

Bo-Peep goes about asking if anyone has seen her 
sheep and weeping. 

Mother Hubbard’s dog comes in, with children, and 
frisks about. 

Jack Horner seats himself in corner, eats pie, pulls 
plums, etc. 

The Three Bears drink milk from pans, in cupboard, 
sit in chairs, etc. 

Dame Trot, with her staff, and an artificial cat upon 
her shoulder, trots around briskly and gossips. 

The Prince enters, with Cinderella on arm. He talks 
(in pantomime) while she listens with downcast eyes. 

The Queen of Hearts makes tarts. 

Jack Spratt and wife investigate cupboard; find and 
eat meat. 

The Children in a Shoe are full of pranks and need 
discipline. 

Mother Goose fills Red Ridinghood’s basket with 
cake. 



castle’s school entertainments 149 

Pie-man offers his wares and teases Simon. 

Miss Muffet seats herself on old-fashioned settee and 
swings feet. 

Fiddlers Three play (in pantomime) and King Cole 
dances. 

Old Woman who swept cobwebs sets large brush 
broom beside her and studies diligently. 

Little Bachelor brings in wife on wheelbarrow. She 
is surrounded by old fashioned bandboxes. Little Bach¬ 
elor is devoted and anxious for her comfort. 

Neighbors offer congratulations. Handshaking, etc. 

Tom, the piper's son, shows and praises stolen pig. 

Mother Goose and Old Woman with bells are kept 
busy attending to accidents. 

The Stage 

Have an opening at back of stage about the size of a 
double door. 

Curtain rises on old-fashioned living room occupied 
by Mother Goose and Old Woman with bells on toes. 
Both are in Mother Goose costumes and smiling broadly. 

Let the reader make a short pause at conclusion of 
second verse, while Old Woman rings bell and children 
come trooping in and arrange themselves in pantomime. 
Other slight pauses may be expedient. 

Old Mother Goose she kept a school 
All on a summer day: 

She never made a single rale; 

Just let the children play. 

[1] At nine o’clock the bell was rang, 

(For so the story goes,) 

By the musical Old Woman 
With bells upon her toes. 

Little Boy Blue—alas, ’tis true! 

Slept all the live long day: 


150 castle’s school entertainments 

And poor Bo-Peep, her naughty sheep 
Went skipping far away. 

[2] Jack and Jill ran down the hill 

And wouldn’t bring the water. 

Jack fell down and broke his^crown 
And Jill came tumbling after. 

The good old dame, who swept the sky, 

Was quiet as could be: 

She bent a rapt and studious eye 
On New Astronomy. 

[3] Dame Hubbard’s dog he laughed and laughed 

And stood upon his head: 

But, when the dame to find him came, 

Her dear old dog was dead. 

[4] Jack Horner got the stomach ache 

From eating Christmas pie. 

[5] And, sad to tell, the baby fell 

Down from a tree top high. 

Then the Three Bears got all the chairs 
And broke the bottoms out. 

[6] Poor Dame Trot got sciatica, 

From standing up, no doubt. 

The kitchen clock said, “Tock, tick, tock,” 
And solemnly struck twelve. 

[7] The lovely Cinderella seemed 

To be beside herself. 

[8] Away she fled!—so fast she sped 

She lost her slipper small. 

[9] In vain the handsome Prince pursued 

And franticly did call: 


castle’s school entertainments 151 


He saw naught but a kitchen maid 
Who shrank beside the wall. 

[10] In the big pot the porridge hot 

Was smoking just at noon: 

Alack a day! the dishes gay 
Ran off with all the spoons. 

[11] The Queen of Hearts she burned her tarts 

And all her Christmas pie. 

[12] The little kits that lost their mits 

They all began to cry. 

Jack Spratt, so mean, ate all the lean, 

His wife ate all the fat. 

No pie, no meat, no spoons to eat 
The porridge; think of that! 

[13] The children in a shoe all cried 

For “lasses” on their bread 
Till the old woman spanked them well 
And sent them off to bed. 

[14] In the deep wood Red-Ridinghood 

Went straying, far away, 

Until she met a hungry wolf 
Who ate her up, they say. 

[15] The pieman teased poor Simon 

Till he lost his simple wits. 

[16] The spider scared Miss Muffet 

Till she had hysteric fits. 

The bachelor and his new wife, 

So late of London-town, 

Found, early, that e’en married life 
Has dreadful ups and downs. 


152 castle's school entertainments 

[17] The ’barrow broke—oh, such a joke! 

The bride came tumbling down, 

With all the wedding finery 

She’d brought from London-town. 

The Fiddlers Three played, merrily, 

Until the sun went down: 

And old King Cole, the jolly soul, 

[18] Danced till he lost his crown. 

’Twas naughty Tom, the piper’s son, 

A stolen pig did bring. 

[19] But when he saw the butcher-man 

He ran off, bellowing. 

[20] Dogs barked, the children laughed and cried, 

Fiddles got out of tune, 

[21] The staid old cow was frightened so 

She jumped clear over the moon. 

[22] The Superintendent came to call 

And he was scandalized; 

“The most unruly school of all 
I ’ve seen in all my life ! 9 9 

[23] So Mother Goose she sent them home 

And made a cup of tea: 

“Without a doubt, I’m not cut out 
For teachin’ school,” said she. 

[1] Old Woman with bells on toes takes off slipper, 
with bells attached, and “calls school.” 

[2] * Jack Horner comes sprawling into opening at 
back, Jill tumbles after; pail comes rolling. Mother 
Goose and Old Woman tie up Jack’s head. 

[3] Enter Mother Hubbard, with basket of bones. Dog 
plays “dead dog.” Mother Hubbard weeps. 


castle’s school entertainments 153 


[4] Jack Horner has stomach ache. Old Woman uses 
amusing remedies. 

[5] Let some one drop a large baby doll from above 
stage. Mother Goose goes through pantomime of hush¬ 
ing screaming baby. 

[6] Dame Trot limps painfully. 

[7] Reader pauses while clock strikes twelve. Cinder¬ 
ella is greatly excited. 

[8] Cinderella runs out opening at back. 

[9] Prince pursues. 

[10] Mother Goose stirs porridge with large spoon. A 
row of wooden plates, with spoons fastened to them, 
have been reposing on a shelf across top of opening, at 
back. The tops of plates are fastened to a rod, which 
rests in brackets, on each side, behind scenes. Some 
one, behind scenes, lifts rod, at proper time, dangles it 
a moment, to make plates, cut antics, then lifts it out 
of sight. Old Woman, who was just reaching up for a 
plate, raises hands and gazes in astonishment and 
fright. Mother Goose also gazes. 

[11] The Queen of Hearts opens oven door and makes 
gestures of dismay. 

[12] Reader pauses. Loud ma-eowing behind scenes. 

[13] Children in Shoe draw faces and wipe eyes with 
knuckles, handkerchiefs and aprons. Old Woman in 
Shoe spanks. 

[14] Red-Ridinghood goes out opening at back. 

[15] Simon rushes about, crying. 

[16] Some one lowers, from above, a large artificial 
spider attached to a thread. Miss Muffet has hysterics. 
Spider spins up. Mother Goose applies remedies. 

[17] Wheelbarrow breaks, or is overturned. Bride and 
bandboxes roll out. Little Bachelor, Old Woman and 
others hasten to help. Bears deck themselves with 
bridal finery. 

[18] King Cole loses crown. 


154 CASTLE'S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 

[19] Enter butcher with white apron and whip. Simon 
runs out. Butcher pursues. 

[20] Pantomine grows fast and furious. Dog comes to 
life, Children in Shoe wake up, Jack’s head and Jack 
Horner’s stomach are painful, Bride weeps over finery. 
Little Bachelor pursues Bears, Mother Hubbard tosses 
Tree Top Baby, Jack Spratt and wife quarrel over last 
bite of meat, Boy Blue wakens and blows horn, Spider 
dangles from above and Miss Muffet is worse, likewise 
Dame Trot, Bo-Peep grows frantic. Simon steals tart 
and Queen of Hearts spanks him, Jill gets fast in bot¬ 
tomless chair, Fiddlers play faster and King Cole in¬ 
creases speed, Father Bear overturns the Pie-man and 
his wares. Mother Goose and Old Woman rush from one 
patient to the other, etc. 

[21] Paint cow on stiff pasteboard (might be stiffened 
by wires on back). Fasten to rod by fine wires; move 
into opening, at back, a few moments before she is men¬ 
tioned. Lift suddenly. 

[22] The Superintendent, an old-fashioned gentleman, 
appears at back: raises hands and looks scandalized. 

[23] Mother Goose raps on table. Children make dis¬ 
orderly exit. Mother Goose sinks into chair exhausted. 
Old Woman fans her. She revives. They tidy up room 
and make a cup of tea. Dishes take places on shelf. 
Cow gazes in placidly. Curtain falls on Mother Goose 
and Old Woman taking tea. 


—Harriet D. Castle. 


castle’s school entertainments 155 


THREE QUEENS 


Dialogue with songs set to familiar airs. 

Characters and Costumes 

Queen of May—White dress, crown and scepter of 
flowers. 

Queen of Flowers—White dress adorned with flowers. 

Children—White dresses and bright sashes. 

Fairy Queen—Pale green dress. Long green hose. 
Tiny wings on shoulders. Star above forehead. Make 
dress skirt very short and full. The dress and wings 
might be made of pale green tissue paper. 

Fairies—Same as queen—without star. 

Brownies—Funny little brownie costumes. 

The Stage 

Insert may-pole in substantial socket. Place hoop at 
top so that it will turn. Hang streamers of ribbon, or 
bright colored cambric from hoop. Decorate a pretty 
chair, for throne. Children trip around May pole, hold¬ 
ing streamers and singing. 

Merry May. 

Air—“Lightly Row” 

Sing and shout, sing and shout, 

Echoes tell it all about, 

Shout and say, shout and say, 

“ ’Tis the merry May.” 

Sing of grasses tender green, 

Flowers peeping up between, 

Fresh and gay, fresh and gay, 

As the merry May. 



156 castle’s school entertainments 

Sweetest note, sweetest note, 

In the song bird’s swelling throat, 
Roundelay, roundelay, 

Of the merry May. 

Never song can sweeter be 
In your wondrous orchestra: 

Roundelay, roundelay, 

Of the merry May. 

Shout and sing, shout and sing, 

Sweetest song in all the Spring, 

Always sung, always sung, 

When the year is young. 

Sing of grasses tender green, 

Fleecy clouds that float, serene: 

Sing to-day, sing to-day, 

Of the merry May. 

Enter two girls, one carrying wreath and the other 
scepter. Some of the children run to meet them. 

Mary —Here comes the maids of honor with the 
crown and scepter. 

Alice —Is the queen coming? 

First Maid of Honor —Yes, pretty soon. We are 
all to go and meet her. Did the boys bring the 
baskets ? 

Mary (pointing to baskets at back of stage) — 
Yes, there they are: brim full of good things, 
too. 

Second Maid of Honor —Let us leave the crown 
and scepter here. [They place crown and scepter 


castle’s school entertainments 157 


on throne.] Come on, girls; we are to meet and 
escort the queen. 

Alice— Come, all ye good and loyal subjects. 

Girls pass off humming Merry May. Brownies come 
on, tripping, skipping and turning somersets. Finally 
settle themselves and sing. 

Five Little Brownies. 

Air—“Little Brown Jug” 

Five little brownies, don’t you see? 

We’re full of fun as we can be. 

Reason we’re so small, you know, 

Can’t stand still for roots to grow. 

Chorus. 

Ah, ha, ha, don’t you see? 

Five little brownie boys are we. 

Five little brownies, understand, 

Just arrived from Mischief Land. 

If we chance to do our worst 
Laugh until your buttons burst. 

Chorus. 

The Queen of Fairies is our queen: 

She thinks our tricks are rather mean. 
When she takes us by surprise 
Brownies have to ’pologize. 

Chorus. 

Brownies scatter about stage, seize ribbons and run 
around may-pole, get tangled in ribbons and fall and 
cut all sorts of antics. One picks up scepter and struts 
around with it; another climbs on throne, seats himself 
and puts on crown. They discover the lunch baskets 


158 castle’s school entertainments 

and help themselves to pie and cake. They pause, in 
consternation, at sound of music, then scamper off with 
crown, scepter and fragments of food. Enter Queen oi 
May and attendants. Several small girls scatter flowers 
before her. Attendants sing. Brownies peep from 
scenes. 

Hail to the Queen. 

Air—“Red, White and Blue” 

All hail to the Queen of the May-time, 

The queen of the beautiful May. 

’Tis flower time and song time and play time, 
When all things awake and are gay. 

The mandate, that bids us assemble, 

We joyfully haste to obey; 

Thy banners of green are a-tremble; 

They float from the tree tops to-day. 

Chorus. 

All hail to the Queen of the May! 

All hail to the Queen of the May! 

With her banners of green floating o’er us, 

All hail to the Queen of the May. 

Old Winter waged wide desolation, 

And threatened our land 1 6 deform: 

But, as she has done since creation, 

The May Queen rode safe through the storm. 
The Frost King went fleeing before her, 

And Winter was driven away: 

No wonder we praise and adore her. 

All hail to the Queen of the May! 

Chorus. 


castle’s school entertainments 159 

Maids of Honor have gone on ahead to throne. Find¬ 
ing the crown and sceptor gone they fall on knees before 
queen. 

First Maid of Honor— Oh, your majesty! your 
majesty! the crown and scepter are gone! 

Second Maid of Honor— We laid them on the 
throne, never thinking but what they would be 
safe. 

Queen of May— Do not distress yourselves. You 
did quite right. It is an unheard of occurrence. 
It grieves us much that such a thing should hap¬ 
pen in our domain. The loss of our crown jewels 
is nothing in comparison. 

Brownie (aside to audience)—S’pect she’d lick 
a fellow! 

First Maid of Honor— But, your majesty, how 
can we proceed with the coronation? 

Queen of May— We will defer it. The Queen of 
Flowers, who has charge of my jewels, will soon 
be here, and can, doubtless, provide us with an¬ 
other crown. Meanwhile I will rest myself 
awdiile; an uncrowned queen. [Takes seat on 
throne.] 

Brownie (aside)—Sensible woman. 

(Fine bells ring softly. Brownies greatly excited). 

First Brownie (aside)—Our queen’s a-coming! 

Second Brownie— Oh my! 

Third Brownie— We’ll have to ’pologize! 

(Enter Fairy Queen and fairies singing to soft accom¬ 
paniment of bells. Might be imitated on piano). 


160 castle’s school entertainments 


Little Fairies. 

Air: ‘* Merry Sunshine ’ ’ 

Oh, we are little fairies, 

A merry fairy band: 

We bring you words of welcome sweet 
From happy Fairyland. 

The big trees are our castles, 

And, all the winter, long, 

The little fairies slumber, safe, 

Within their castle strong. 

Until there comes a whisper 
That thrills each oaken heart 

And sets their pulses running wild, 

And buds begin to start. 

We know then it is spring time, 

And flowers are blooming gay, 

And all the birds are singing, sweet, 

About the merry May. 

We love the merry spring time; 

Within the fairy camp 

The cricket tunes his fiddle up 
And fireflies trim their lamp. 

And so we bid you welcome, 

A welcome glad and gay: 

The fairies sing a welcome to 
The lovely Queen of May. 

(Fairy Queen and fairies kneel before Queen of May. 
Queen of May extends hand to Fairy Queen and lifts 
her up). 


castle’s school entertainments 161 


Queen of May— Rise, rise, Queen of the Fairies. 
You should never kneel to me, a queen without 
crown or scepter. A strange thing has befallen 
us. The crown and scepter were left unguarded, 
for awhile, and they have disappeared. We can¬ 
not account for it. 

Brownie (aside, dolefully)—She’ll know we did 

it. 

(Queen of Fairies places hand on forehead and looks 
distressed). 

Queen of Fairies— Oh, beautiful Queen of May, 
I would that, like you, I might sometimes remain 
in blissful ignorance. But already have I divined 
who the naughty thieves are. 

Brownie (aside)—Can’t fool her! 

Queen of Fairies— I left my Brownies at home to¬ 
day, fearing they would do me little credit at your 
court. But they are swifter of foot than we, and 
much I fear the mischief has been done. But it 
shall be punished immediately. 

Blows whistle. Brownies come forward, slowly and 
reluctantly, with heads hanging down. One trying to 
hide partly eaten piece of pie; one with hands in pock¬ 
ets; one with fingers in mouth; one dragging dilapidated 
crown; another, dilapidated scepter. 

Queen of Fairies— Ah, your majesty, it is as I 
divined. You see the culprits before you. I am 
overcome with shame. 

Queen of May (laughing)—Oh, the funny little 
dears! They didn’t mean to be naughty. 


162 castle’s school entertainments 

Brownies (brightening and shaking heads vigor¬ 
ously)-—No, we never! 

Queen of Fairies— Silence! Kneel at her majes¬ 
ty’s feet and crave her pardon. 

Brownie (aside)—Told you we’d have to ’polo- 
gize. 

Brownies rush forward, one falling down, kneel be¬ 
fore Queen of May, place hands on hearts, and try to 
look solemn. 

Brownies— We crave your majesty’s pardon. 

Queen of May— I freely grant you pardon, dears. 

Brownies leap to feet, cut antics, exclaim, “Thank 
you, mom!” “Much obliged!” etc. One climbs up and 
whispers, audibly, to Queen of May: “And I crave an¬ 
other piece of pie.” 

Queen of May (to attendant)—Take our guests 
to the baskets and serve them with pie. 

Brownies follow attendant to baskets, leaping, skip¬ 
ping and turning somersets. They busy themselves, in 
the background, with pie and antics. 

Queen of Fairies— Alas! what shall I do with 
them? 

Queen of May— Laugh at them, your majesty. 
It seems to me they should never be taken seri¬ 
ously. 

Enter Queen of Flowers and attendants carrying flow¬ 
ers; also a wreath and scepter. They sing: 

May Jewels. 

Air—“Under the Dreamland Tree” 

Fair was the morning, balmy and sweet, 

I and my maidens, merry and fleet, 


castle's school entertainments 163 


Through all the woodland, over the lea, 
Jewels have sought for thee. 

Chorus. 

Rare and fair they sparkle, in the light, 

Set with pearls the fairies bring at night: 
Never were jewels brighter than they, 

Gems for the Queen of May. 

’Tis in the morning jewels abound, 

Emerald treasures spilled on the ground, 
Amethysts smile, with violet eyes, 

Diamonds a queen might prize. 

Chorus. 

This is the off’ring, shining and sweet, 

Beautiful queen, we lay at your feet; 

Gifts from the woodland, gifts from the lea, 
Gifts for your jubilee. 

Chorus. 

Queen of Flowers and attendants kneel before Queen 
of May and place flowers at her feet. 

Queen of May —I give you thanks, oh most faith¬ 
ful keeper of my jewels. Never were they more 
beautiful or abundant. This lovely crown is 
worthy of a higher place. Place it upon my brow. 

Queen of Flowers— Thanks for the honor, most 
gracious queen. 

Places crown on queen’s head and scepter in hand. 
Queen of May —And now let us put aside all 
thought of crowns and jewels and give ourselves 


164 castle’s school entertainments 

to the enjoyment of our May-day games. Dear 
Queen of Fairies, will you join us? 

Queen of Fairies— Gladly, oh gentle Queen of 
May. 

Play march, in which all join, Brownies cutting an 
occasional antic. The may-pole might be made a pleas¬ 
ing feature in the march. The taller ones might march 
around, holding the ribbons, the smaller ones beside 
them, two or three abreast, according to the number 
marching, forming spokes to a wheel. The smaller ones 
might pass among the taller ones in a waving line, 
passing one on the inside, under the ribbons, the next 
on the outside, and so on. Other changes would sug¬ 
gest themselves. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


castle’s school entertainments 165 


TEMPERANCE RECITATIONS AND 
EXERCISES 

OUR RIGHTS 


For a company of boys, and another of girls, each 
bearing a banner inscribed, “Our Rights.” Play march, 
while boys march up aisle, and again for girls. 

Boys: 

We’re a jolly little army 
Of jolly little chaps. 

Don’t think, because we’re rather small, 
That we are little Japs; 

For we are young Americans; 

We’re asking for our rights, 

Just as our banner tells you. 

We’d rather be polite, 

And tell you all about it, 

And not have any fight. 

There’s a dram shop, round the corner, 

With it’s wicked, poisoned cup; 

We have a right to tell you, 

You ought to shut it up. 

You big folks ought to keep the town 
So nice and clean, you know, 

There wouldn’t be a single place 
Where good boys couldn’t go. 

We have a right to righteous laws, 

And they should be enforced; 

For, when you don’t live up to them, 




166 CASTLE'S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 

You only make it worse. 

The President and Congress 
Should stop the traffic, too, 

And when we’re big enough to vote 
We’ll just see that they do. 

There’s lots and lots of other rights 
And lots of wrongs, perhaps. 

Please make this world a cleaner place 
For jolly little chaps. 

Girls march up and take places beside boys. 

Girls: 

It isn’t just the boys, we think, 

Who need this looking after; 

The little girls have right to keep 
Their innocent, sweet laughter. 

It always helps the girls to have 
Such pure and noble brothers, 

But the future of the whole great land 
Depends on future mothers. 

It seems, to us, that older folks 
Must surely be to blame 
When there are dancing halls and drink 
To lure us down to shame. 

Oh fair and lovely ladies, 

Who kneel at fashion’s shrine, 

Your girls may learn of you, and drain 
The bitter dregs of wine. 

Great rulers do you wish to win 
A fame that will endure? 


castle’s school entertainments 167 

Drive out the traffic that pollutes 
And make the nation pure. 

You are holding, in your hands, for us, 

A blessing or a blight. 

Oh give to us the blessing! 

We ask it as our right. 

Play march while boys and girls march back. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


WHEN DADDY COMES HOME 


I’m going to get a nice new dress 
When daddy comes home, 

And a lovely new dolly, too, I guess, 

When daddy comes home; 

’Cause daddy told me when he went away 
He’d bring me something nice to-day; 

So I watch at the window and run to the gate, 
And I feel as if I can hardly wait 
Till Daddy comes home. 

It used to be different a long time ago 
When daddy came home; 

Sometimes Billie and mamma and I didn’t know 
When daddy’d come home; 

He couldn’t walk straight, and his eyes were red; 
He brought home rum when we needed bread; 
And I used to hide, as still as a mouse, 

In the darkest room of our tumble-down house, 
When daddy came home. 




168 castle’s school entertainments 

And, bad as things were, they always seemed 
worse, 

When daddy came home, 

For we all felt the weight of the drink fiend’s 
curse 

When daddy came home; 

There were days at a time when we had no food, 
Though mamma did always the best she could; 

And at last there came a terrible day, 

When dear little Billie in Death’s arms lay, 

When daddy came home. 

From that very day things began to go right, 
When daddy came home; 

And soon the home was pleasant and bright, 

When daddy came home; 

He has kept his vow that never a glass 
Of liquor again his lips shall pass; 

And we often talk of it, mamma and me, 

And think how happy dear Billie will be 
When daddy goes home. 

— W. H. Pierce. 


THE CRIMSON BALLOT 


One day in a-crowded court room 
A sentence of death was said, 

In the hush of the awful stillness: 

“To be hanged by the neck until dead.” 




castle’s school entertainments 

And a mother’s heart was broken, 

As she faltered a murmured name; 

And a father’s face was furrowed 
With the tears of grief and shame. 

It was only one of the dramas 
That are acted every day. 

And the judge on the bench had asked him 
What the prisoner had to say. 

“The jury has said I am guilty,” 

Was the low, resigned reply, 

“The law has summoned the hangman 
And said that I must die. 

“But before the God in heaven 
I did not kill my friend, 

And to the looming scaffold 
A guiltless man you send. 

The dramshop did this murder, 

And the drink that fired my brain 

That made me do its bidding, 

And held me in its chain. 

“But not upon the dramshop, 

Nor brewery, nor still, 

Nor on the high officials, 

Who watch them steal and kill; 

But on your skirts, your honor, 

And every man’s who’s stood 

To legalize the gin-mill, 

Is stamped the brand of blood.” 


170 castle’s school entertainments 


His voice rang like a bugle, 

No other sound was heard, 

While something kin to terror 
In all who listened stirred. 

And all the court-room cowered 
Beneath the lash of truth; 

The boy seemed judge and jury, 

And they the sentenced youth. 

“For back of the law’s officials 
Is the law that spells my fate; 

And back of the law are the people, 

And the people are the state. 

My hand held the murderous weapon, 
And the blood on its blade they saw. 

But back of the deed was the dram-shop, 
And back of the dram-shop the law. 

“And whosoever hath voted 
To license this evil, ties 

The shameful noose of the hangman 
’Round the neck of the man who dies. 

And on his hands are the blood drops 
And on his brow a sign 

That he is the man who sheddeth 
My dead friend’s blood and mine.” 

Then back to his cell they led him, 

And there on the trap he ’ll stand; 

And the bloody farce will be acted 
Again and again in the land. 


castle’s school entertainments 171 


And every reddened gibbet 
Shall be for a nation’s blame; 

For every ballot is crimson 

That is cast for a nation’s shame. 

—Frank A. Marshall 


THE MOTHER’S APPEAL 


A Dialogue for Municipal Voters to Read 
Mother. 

0, Mr. Saloonman, I beg you don’t sell 
The stuff to my boy that may send him to hell; 
Remember how dear to my heart he must be 
And let him to-night return sober to me. 

Saloonkeeper. 

They licensed me, madam, to sell him the stuff, 
The fool ought to know when he’s taken enough. 
You can’t expect me to refuse all who come, 

My business is to sell drinkers their rum. 

Mother. 

0, Mr. Saloonman, I beg you to think 
How much it may mean if you sell him the drink, 
His soul is in peril, don’t wreck it for gain, 
Don’t make it another young life you have slain. 

Saloonkeeper. 

Go yonder, and talk to the men who have said 
I may sell—to the voters who stand at the head 




172 castle’s school entertainments 

Of the church where you pray, don’t be whining 
away, 

In this place they have licensed—go yonder, I say! 
Mother. 

0, Mr. Saloonman, they say you may sell, 

But whose is the sin, if you send him to hell ? 

He buys at your bar what must bring him to 
shame; 

For all that may follow God holds you to blame. 
Saloonkeeper. 

No, madam, the sin is not mine at the first, 

Nor for it shall I be the only man cursed; 

The men who permit me to sell are the ones 
To settle with God if I ruin their sons. 

— A. A. Hopkins. 

PUT ON THE BRAKE 


I saw one day, on the brow of a hill, 

A boy with a big, heavy load; 

He pulled on the lines with a firm, strong hand, 
As he struck the decline in the road. 

The wagon was new, the harness was strong, 

But the horses, though good, were small; 

The heavy load forced them into a trot, 

And I trembled for fear they would fall. 

I knew if they fell the boy would be hurt, 

I felt that his life was at stake; 

I shouted above the noise of the wheels, 

“Say, little boy, put on the brake.” 




castle’s school entertainments 173 


He grasped the lines with his small left hand, 
The brake lever seized with his right. 

He knelt on his knees and with a strong push, 
He set on the brake good and tight; 

Then he reined the horses back into a walk, 

And could easily guide them at will, 

And, safe and sound, and without a mishap, 
Was soon at the foot of the hill. 

As he stopped to loosen the brake, I said, 

“A lesson from this you should take, 

Many a wasted life might have been saved 
Had they, in time, put on the brake. 

Now there is the boy who smokes cigarettes, 

At first it was done on the sly; 

He’s easily muddled at task and play, 

For his brain is injured thereby. 

His brother in folly, the tippling lad, 

At first had an intellect clear; 

He’s clouding it over day after day, 

For those boys I tremble with fear. 

Whenever I see one indulging I say, 

“He’s struck the decline—no mistake,” 

And I call aloud to him as he hastens along, 
“Say, little boy, put on the brake.” 

There is the girl who is thoughtless and vain. 
She’s sowing wild oats, it appears; 

As she’s sowing to-day with laughter and song 
She will reap to-morrow with tears. 


174 CASTLE S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 

She never will soil her lily white hands 
To aid her mother in her household cares; 

She knows more than her mother, she thinks, 

And heeds not her counsel and prayers. 

I know, as sure as night follows day, 

A wreck of her life she will make, 

And I shout, while yet it is easy to stop, 

“Say, little girl, put on the brake.” 

There is the man who frequents the saloon, 
Untruthful, dishonest, profane, 

Who seeks rude companions, squanders his time, 
And cares not if he gives others pain. 

What to him are tears of mother and wife 
Or sobs of his own little child? 

His conscience is seared, his soul has died out, 

He plunges down reckless and wild. 

But the road ends at the foot of the hill, 

And below is the brimstone lake. 

I shout while yet he has time to reform, 

“Say, my dear friend, put on the brake.” 

—George Clay Lloyd. 


VOTING VS. RESOLVING 

[At a district conference of the M. E. Church in Iowa 
recently, the usual threadbare declaration was made and 
adopted in a resolution that “The liquor traffic cannot 
be licensed without sin.”] 

King Alcohol’s vanquished; 

The Church has decreed it; 

Then let us rejoice 





castle’s school entertainments 175 


And be glad when we read it.. 
They’ve resolved and whereas’d 
That the traffic must go, 

In language so plain 

That a fool ought to know. 

“It cannot be licensed,” 

They say, * ‘ without sin; ” 

Why, friendly old chestnut, 

Come, where have you been; 
And “where were you at” 

In the conflict last fall? 

I really don’t think 
That you voted at all. 

If you did, did you vote 
As you’ve just resoluted? 

Now figures won’t lie 
If rightly computed. 

Say, what was the number 
Of votes you recorded 
Against this great monster, 

So remorseless and sordid ? 

I’ve seen an old scarecrow 
Standing out in the field; 

It became so familiar 

That no power it could wield 
To frighten the birds 
That came every morn, 

And from under its nose 

Took the farmer’s good corn. 


176 castle’s school entertainments 

But the farmer came out, 

You could see he was “hot,” 

And with an old gun 

Filled the birds full of shot. 

The birds then decided 
To have nothing to do 

With the business-like end 
Of that living scarecrow. 

Your resolves are the scarecrow, 

The old parties the birds; 

’Tis but little they care 
For your empty, wise words. 

They feel very certain 
You will do nothing rash, 

But will vote at the crack 
Of the old party lash. 

And you are the farmer, 

The hand is the gun; 

The ballot’s the shot 
That will “make things hum.” 

A vote will weigh more 
When cast for the right, 

Than all the resolves 

You could make in a night. 

—7. W. Rowe 


castle’s school entertainments 177 


THE TEMPERANCE SHIP 


Take courage, temperance workers. 

You shall not suffer wreck, 

While up to God the people’s prayers 
Are rising from your deck. 

Wait cheerily, temperance workers, 

For daylight and for land; 

The breath of God is in your sail, 

Your rudder in His hand. 

Sail on! sail on! deep freighted 
With blessings and with hopes; 

The good of old with shadowy hands, 

Are pulling at your ropes. 

Behind you, holy martyrs 
Uplift the palm and crown; 

Before you, unborn ages send 
Their benedictions down. 

Courage! Your work is holy; 

God’s errands never fail. 

Sweep on through storm and darkness, 

The thunder and the hail! 

Work on! sail on! the morning comes, 

The port you yet shall win; 

And all the bells of God shall ring 
The ship of temperance in. 

—John G. Whittier. 



178 castle’s school entertainments 


A KNOTTY PROBLEM 


A sufficient number of pupils to represent ordinary 
class come forward to recitation bench. Those called 
upon rise in awkward and embarrassed manner except¬ 
ing Christian Brother, who is suave and politely scan¬ 
dalized. 


Professor: 

Attention, class in mathematics, 

For a problem I’ll propound 
More full of knots than any given 
By old Euclid, the profound. 

There is an Alcoholic Demon 
And he devastates the land; 

How this hold demon can he conquered 
Is the problem, understand. 

You may stand up, my License Brother, 
And an answer give to me. 


License Brother: 

We-e-11, he’s so big we just can’t hold him; 

So we hobble him, you see. 

We know he fills the jail and poorhouse, 
The asylum and the grave; 

But then he pays the town expenses, 

And it’s always best to save. 

Professor: 

You may stand up, my Politician, 

And an answer give to me. 

Politician: 

W-e-e-1-1 he controls so many votes 
We have to let him he. 



castle’s school entertainments 179 


We know they’re rather scaly fellows 
And the lowest of the low; 

But he has got us in his clutches 
And he’ll never let us go. 

Professor.: 

Oh, answer me, my Christian Brother, 

With your culture and research. 

Christian Brother: 

Why, this is politics and never 

Should be mentioned in the church! 

We’re traveling the road to Heaven, 

And we always go first-class. 

Don’t vex us with your vulgar problem: 

We would rather let it pass. 

Professor: 

Oh, what a stupid lot of pupils! 

Why, it rather seems to me, 

That we can solve this knotty problem 
By the good old rule of three. 

Just as the vote of Christian people 
To this demon, foul, shall be, 

So is the knotty problem answered, 

And the nation bond or free. 

And here’s another way to solve it, 

That will be effective quite— 

Eliminate saloons 

And shut the breweries tight; 

Apply the Rule of Prohibition, 

And the answer will be right. 

—Harriet D. Castle. 


180 castle’s school entertainments 

RECITATIONS FOR HIGHER GRADES 


MY CHUM TEDDY 

“Teddy O’Rourke’s my chum, you see, 

An’ how it happened was, him an’ me 
Was down at the dock with the rest that day, 
A-lookin’ for something to come our way, 

Fur shines, I tell ye, was precious few, 

An’ we thought we c6uld pick up a dime or two, 
Along with some of the other chaps, 

Luggin’ a feller’s valise, perhaps. 

“It was time the boat was a-gettin’ in, 

An’ of all the crowd on the dock, who’d been 
Waitin’ fur friends, none took our eye 
Like two who was standin’ just close by— 

A lady, if ever was one, I guess— 

You could tell as much by her way an’ dress— 
With a little girl who had ’bout the looks 
Of them kids you see in the picture books, 

With her big blue eyes an’ her hair like gold— 
I s’pose she was four or five years old. 

An’ blest if she doesn’t tell Ted an’ me 
How her pa’s on board an’ how glad she’ll be 
When he is home with ’em both again, 

An’ Teddy he sees the boat just then. 

“Well, the boat swings inter the slip at last, 

An’, while they’re busy a-makin’ fast, 

With the passengers ready a’most to land, 

The little girl loses her mother’s hand, 




castle’s school entertainments 181 

When everyone's crowdin’ and pusliin’ hard, 

An’ blamed if she doesn’t fall overboard— 

I can’t ezzactly tell how she does, 

’Cause ’fore I knows it, why, there it was— 

An’ then there follers a great, big splash 
As Teddy goes in after her in a flash! 

Talk about swimmin’, now, Ted kin swim! 

Not one of the fellers I knows tops him, 

Stay’under the longest you ever see; 

Dive about twict as high as me; 

Go out so fur you’d be scairt clean through; 
Why, there ain’t a thing ’at he dassent do!— 
More like a duck, I guess you’d say 
If you ever saw him in, some day— 

An’, though the tide is a-runnin’ strong, 

He strikes right out, an’ it ain’t so long 

’Fore he’s dingin’ with her to the slippery spiles, 

An’ she’s safe—an’ he just looks up and smiles. 

“Then they git the little girl up all right, 

An’ there’s nothin’ the matter with her ’cept 
fright, 

While Teddy unhelped climbs up the beams 
With the water a-runnin’ from him in streams; 
An’, while he’s shiverin’ kind o’, there, 

The little girl’s ma don’t seem to care 
At all fur the people a-standin’ by, 

But gives him a kiss an’ begins to cry; 

An’ the little girl’s pa ain’t noways slow 
In grabbin’ his hand—an’ he won’t let go; 

While everybody upon the pier 


182 castle’s school entertainments 

Just whoops her up in a bustin’ cheer, 

An’ one of ’em yells out, after that: 

‘Come, chip in, all of you! Here’s the hat!’ 

“An’ didn’t they? Well, now, they just did! 
Teddy was allers a lucky kid! 

An’, while around with the hat they goes, 
Every one reaches down in his clo’es, 

An’ you’d laugh to see how the ol’ plug fills 
With dimes an’ quarters an’ hafs an’ bills, 

Till at last it’s a-holdin’ so much tin 
Looks ’s if the crown would just bust right in; 
An’ they takes the money ’at they have riz 
An ’ they goes to Teddy an ’ says it’s his. 

‘ ‘ ‘ What! ’ says Teddy. ‘ This ain’t all mine! ’ 
An’ you oughter have seed his black eyes shine, 
An’ I feels so good ’at I gives him a shove, 

Fur I knows just what he’s a-thinkin’ of— 
It’s about his mother, who’s purty old, 

An’ that sister of his’n the doctor’s told 
If she could only go fur a good long spell 
Out in the country she might git well— 

An’ every one laughs ’cause he stares so hard, 

While the little girl’s pa takes out a card 
That says where Teddy’s to call next day, 

And they goes in a hack of their own away, 
While some one tells Teddy to scoot home quick, 
An’ change his clo’s so he won't git sick. 

That’s about all—’cept Teddy O’Rourke 
Has got a chance, and has gone to work 


castle’s school entertainments 


183 


In the little girl’s pa’s big dry-goods store, 

An ’ her ain’t a-shinin ’ up no more; 

An’ now he’s a-goin’ to free-school, nights, 

An’ he’s learnin’ so ’at he reads an’ writes, 
While I tells him to keep on peggin’ away, 

An’ he’ll be a big duck hisself, some day. 

—An’ me? Oh, Teddy’ll look out fur me— 

Teddy O’Rourke’s my chum, you see!” 

—Malcolm Douglas, in St. Nicholas. 


THE MORAVIAN DEATH-HYMN 


Unheard the spoilers’ murderous search 
Had tracked the woods below; 

No watcher on yon village church 
In warning waved, to show 
Where sighing pine and whispering birch 
Concealed a deadly foe. 

Sang sweet the robin and the wren 
At sunset as if lay 
No demon near the homes of men 
Before next morning day 
That hamlet of the land of Penn 
To sweep in blood away. 

Came twilight with its lingering gleam 
And sparks of twinkling gold, 

All silent—save the ceasless stream 
Of Lehigh’s waters cold, 

And stir of leaves that half in dream 




184 castle’s school entertainments 


Their drowsy vespers told. 

But fierce, with eyeballs slumber-proof 
Beneath hate’s fiery frown, 

The red Mohegans lurked aloof 
For midnight darkening down 
To smite with ruin, roof by roof, 

The small Moravian town. 

But list! what strange ethereal tones 
Their savage hearts surprise? 

They heard the chapel-tower trombones 
Like voices from the skies! 

The Brethren’s trumpet-dirge that moans 
The hour a faith-mate dies. 

Soft, clear, between the light and dark, 
The tubes melodious through 
The spirit of Sebastian Bach 
His Passion Choral blew, 

And all the air stood still to hark 
The passing soul’s adieu. 

As if an angel welcome met, 

Before its wing could tire, 

The soaring life, o’er love’s regret 
Sang hope and high desire, 

And peace her requiem music set 
To join the pealing choir. 

As clods in turfless deserts melt 
Beneath unusual rain, 

The wild assassins trembling felt 


castle’s school entertainments 185 

That sweet, mysterious strain, 

And anger in their breasts that dwelt 
Was changed to coward pain. 

“ ’Tis the Great Spirit’s voice,” they said, 

“He breathes some fearful charm 
To guard this people’s slumber-bed; 

We may not do them harm. 

Where Heaven its mighty shield has spread 
No warrior lifts his arm.” 

They fled, as flies at fear’s command 
The baffled plunder bird; 

And still in air that trumpet-band 
Their guilty fancy heard 
Till all the echoing forest-land 
Gave back God’s awful word. 

And night to morn serenely swept 
With all its shining spheres, 

While calm the pious Brethren slept 
Unvexed with worldly fears— 

And time their peril’s secret kept 
Thro’ many after years, 

Till told one redman of the gang 
That planned that ruthless raid 
How ere the skulking murderers sprang 
From their dark ambuscade 
The solemn horns of cloudland sang, 

And made their hearts afraid. 


186 castle’s school entertainments 

Still from the sacred tower is poured, 

When comes the Fatal Guest, 

The hymn they love who gave the Lord 
Their Bethlehem of the West, 

The strain that scared the vulture horde 
And saved the turtle’s nest. 

And still, where death affection smites, 

If from the heights of prayer 
Faith’s song between the evening lights 
Surprises blind despair, 

The sound the lurking fiend affrights, 

And peace stays slumbering there. 

—Theron Brown. 


THE RAPPAHANNOCK 


The Rappahannock’s stately tide, aglow with sun¬ 
set light, 

Came sweeping down between the hills that 
hemmed its gathering might; 

From one side rose the Stafford slopes and on 
the other shore 

The Spottsylvania meadows lay—with oak groves 
scattered o’er. 

Hushed were the sounds of busy day—the brood¬ 
ing air was hushed, 

Save for the rapid flowing stream that chanted 
as it rushed. 

O’er mead and gently sloping hills on either side 
the stream 




castle’s school entertainments 187 

The white tents of the soldiers caught the sun’s 
departing gleam, 

Upon the Stafford hills “The Blue”—on Spott- 
sylvania “Gray;.” 

Between them, like an unsheathed sword, the 
glistening river lay. 

Hark! Suddenly far down the stream a union 
band sends forth 

The strains of “Hail Columbia”—the poem of 
the North. 

The tents are parted—silent throngs of soldiers, 
worn and grim, 

Stand forth upon the dusky slopes to hear the 
martial hymn. 

So clear and quiet was the night that to the far¬ 
thest bound 

Of either camp was borne the swell of sweet, 
triumphant sound, 

And when the last note died away, from distant 
post to post, 

A shout like thunder of the tide rolled through 
the Federal host ; 

Then straightway from the other shore there came 
an answering strain, 

The “Bonnie Blue Flag” came floating down the 
hills and o’er the plain, 

And then the boys in gray sent back our cheer 
‘ across the tide, 


188 castle’s school entertainments 

A mighty shout, that rent the air and echoed far 
and wide. 

“Star Spangled Banner” we replied—they an¬ 
swered “Boys in Gray,” 

While cheer on cheer rolled through the dusk and 
faintly died away. 

Deep had grown the shadow ’neath the star be¬ 
spangled dome 

When the union band began to play the notes of 
“Home, Sweet Home.” 

The leader’s cornet played the air of the beautiful 
old song, 

Now loud and clear, now faintly heard, now trem¬ 
ulous, now strong; 

And mellow horn and deep-toned bass in har¬ 
mony unite, 

To bear along the melody in waves of pure delight. 

Slowly and softly breathed the chords, and utter 
silence fell 

Upon the valley and the hills, on Blue and Gray 
as well. 

We thought of homes we’d left behind—of loved 
ones far away, 

And all the dear familiar scenes of childhood’s 
happy day; 

The low-roofed farmhouse ’neath the elm—the 
dear wife at the door, 

The dusty sunlight as it played upon the old barn 
floor. 


castle’s school entertainments 


180 


So tender are the memories the simple chords 
awake, 

Our lion-hearted colonel sobbed as though his 
heart would break, 

While all about him brave men stand with faces to 
the stars, 

And tears are shed and prayers are said upon that 
field of Mars. 

The southern band caught up the strain—we 
brushed away the tear, 

And sent across that flowing stream a soul- 
inspiring cheer. 

Then in a mighty chorus every one who could 
sing sang; 

Oh! what a glorious hymn of home across that 
river rang! 

The Blue and Gray together sang and kept it up 
until 

The. last faint bugle note had passed the distant 
hill; 

Then to our cots of straw we stole, and dreamed 
the livelong night 

Of home, sweet home, so far away, peace-walled 
and still and white. 


—C. H. C.— 1864 . 


190 castle’s school entertainments 

THE CALF PATH 


One day through the primeval wood 
A calf walked home as good calves should; 
But made a trail all bent askew, 

A crooked trail as all calves do. 

Since then three hundred years have fled, 
And I infer the calf is dead. 

But still he left behind his trail, 

And thereby hangs my moral tale. 

The trail was taken up next day 
By a lone dog that passed that way 
And then a wise bell-wether sheep 
Pursued the trail o’er vale and steep, 

And drew the flock behind him, too, 

As good bell-wethers always do. 

And from that day o’er hill and glade, 
Through those old woods a path was made. 

And many men wound in and out, 

And dodged and turned, and bent about, 

And uttered words of righteous wrath 
Because ’twas such a crooked path; 

But still they followed—do not laugh— 

The first migrations of that calf. 

And through the winding wood way stalked 
Because he wobbled when he walked. 

This forest path became a lane, 

That bent and turned and turned again; 

This crooked lane became a road, 



castle’s school entertainments 191 


Where many a poor horse with his load 
Toiled on beneath the burning sun, 
And traveled some three miles in one. 
And thus a century and a half 
They trod the footsteps of that calf. 

The years passed on in swiftness -fleet, 
The road became a village street; 

And this, before men were aware, 

A city’s crowded thoroughfare. 

And soon the central street was this 
Of a renowned metropolis; 

And men two centuries and a half 
Trod in the footsteps of that calf. 

Each day a hundred thousand rout 
Followed this zigzag calf about, 

And o’er his crooked journey went 
The traffic of a continent. 

A hundred thousand men were led 
By one calf near three centuries dead. 
They followed still his crooked way 
And lost one hundred years a day; 

For thus such reverence is lent 
To well established precedent. 

A moral lesson this might teach 
Were I ordained and called to preach; 
For men are prone to go it, blind 
Along the calf-paths of the mind, 

And work away from sun to sun 
To do what other men have done. 


192 castle’s school entertainments 

They follow in the beaten track, 

And out and in and forth and back, 

And still their devious course pursue 
To keep the paths that others do. 

They keep the path a sacred groove, 

Along which all their lives they move; 

And how the wise old wood-gods laugh, 

Who saw the first primeval calf. 

Ah, many things this tale might teach— 

But I am not ordained to preach. 

— 5 . W. Foss. 


IN THE HEART OF THE WOODS 


Such beautiful things in the heart of the woods! 

Flowers and ferns, and the soft green moss; 
Such love of the birds, in the solitudes, 

Where the swift wings glance, and the tree-tops 
toss; 

Spaces of silence, swept with song, 

Which nobody hears but the God above; 

Spaces where myriad creatures throng, 

Sunning themselves in his guarding love. 

Such safety and peace in the heart of the woods, 
Far from the city’s dust and din, 

Where passion nor hate of man intrudes, 

Nor fashion nor folly has entered in. 

Deeper than hunter’s trail hath gone 




castle’s school entertainments 193 

Glimmers the turn where the wild deer drink; 
And fearless and free comes the gentle fawn, 

To peep at herself o’er the grassy brink. 

Such pledge of love in the heart of the woods! 

For the Maker of all things keeps the least, 

And over the tiny floweret broods, 

With care that for ages has never ceased. 

If he cares for this, will he not for thee— 

Thee, wherever thou art to-day 
Child of an infinite Father, see— 

And safe in such gentlest keeping stay. 

—Margaret E. Songster. 


READING THE PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE 


Last night pa he was reading when 
Ma got her fancy work and then 
Says: “What’s the news, pa, anyway? 

I haven’t read a line to-day.” 

And pa he kind of shook his head 
And blew out clouds of smoke and read 
Just to himself, you know, as though 
He hadn’t heard ma speak, and so 
She ast again, and pa said: “Oh, 
There’s nothing that you’d care to hear, 
Now just keep quiet, won’t you, dear? 
I’m reading the President’s message.” 




194 castle's school entertainments 

Ma sat and stitched and pa read on 
And grandma rocked and give a yawn, 

And pretty soon ma said: “I s’pose 
He give the trusts some heavy blows?" 
“You bet!" pa said; “in that third round 
He seemed to nearly have urn downed." 

And then he looked up quick and frowned, 
And after that he read some more 
And dropped his ashes on the floor, 

And ma said: ‘‘That’s a shame! Dear me!" 
And pa said: “Blame it, can’t you see 
I’m reading the President’s message?" 

“I wish you’d read it all to me," 

Ma said as pleasant as could be. 

“Oh, pshaw!" Pa answered, kind of sharp, 
“I wish you wouldn’t always harp. 

“The thing would all be Greek to you 
If I should read it six times through; 

Now just keep quiet—kindly do¬ 
lt’s nothing that you’d care about." 

And then he blew some more smoke out 
And grandma kind of smiled at ma, 

And ma she stitched away while pa 
Kept reading the President’s message. 

About a minute after that, 

When I was foolin ’ with the cat, 

Ma said: ‘“Oh, pa, I wish you’d read 
About the tariff bill we need; 

What does the message say? You know 


castle’s school entertainments 195 


You said he’d dodge it; is it so?” 

Pa took a puff and answered: “Oh, 

I haven’t come to that round yet— 

I mean that part—say, can’t you let 
A man be undisturbed? I swear 
You can’t keep still two minutes there!” 
He was reading the President’s message. 

Pa’s back was turned to ma, and she 
Got up, and shook her head at me, 

And snuck behind him on tip-toe 
So quiet that he didn’t know, 

And, standing there behind his chair, 

She said at last: “My, I declare!” 

She saw where he was reading at— 

“I didn’t know they printed that 
Among the sporting news,” she said; 

And pa’s face, it turned just as red, 

And then they made me go to bed!— 
That’s all of the President’s message. 


A HAPPY PHILOSOPHER 

I like the weather rainy an ’ I like the weather dry, 

I like the world an’ like the plan the Ruler runs 
it by! 

There’s mebbe drouthy seasons in some fair and 
farmin’ spot, 

While a streak of too wet weather blights an¬ 
other, like as not. 




196 


castle’s school entertainments 


But I so love earth’s roses that the little thorns 
don’t hurt, 

An’ life to me is somethin’ more than drudgery 
an’ dirt; 

God tuned my taste to sweetness, so I shun the 
bitter lees 

An’ find so much of honey I’m a-robbin’ of the 
bees. 

I’ve found that corn-fields stunted till they would¬ 
n’t pay to shock 

Will yield to huskin’ season lots o’ nubbins for 
the stock, 

An’ the shrivelled wheat that rusted, one of Na¬ 
ture’s weather tricks, 

Will do a sight toward feedin ’ all the hungry hens 
an ’ chicks. 

So what’s the use o’ whinin’ if the run o’ things 
don’t suit, 

You get to smell the blossoms though some insect 
takes the fruit! 

I reckon life’s so happy I can wander where I 
please 

An’ find so much of honey I’m a-robbin’ of the 
bees. 

A happy life’s dependent not on gumption or on 
grit, 

But jes’ the plain philosophy of make-the-best- 
of-it! 


castle’s school entertainments 197 


Of course I ain’t denyin’ Sorrow’s stalkin’ 
through the land, 

But her sister, Joy, is with her, an’ a-holdin’ of 
her hand. 

So write me down as happy, in the summer, 
spring or fall, 

An’ even storms o’ winter doesn’t ice the blossoms 
all, 

So I jes’ keep on a-huntin’ in the fragrance or 
the freeze, 

An’ I find so much of honey I’m a-robbin’ of the 
bees. 

—Roy Farrell Greene. 


THE BALLAD OF ELIZABETH ZANE 
Wheeling 1777 

Ye who love in the past to scan 
Glory of daring in heart of man, 

Glory of daring on land or main, 

List to the song of Elizabeth Zane! 

Braver story was never sung! 

Slight was the maid, and fair and young; 
Gently born and gently bred, 

Kin of heroes living and dead. 

Fincastle Fort of fair renown 
Stood on the river by Wheeling town; 




198 castle’s school entertainments 

Set amid fields of wheat and corn, 

Guarding the hamlet where she was born. 

Fair was the feast September spread, 

Wheat was golden and corn was red, 

Blazed the hillside with scarlet flame,— 

When down on the clearing the redskin came. 

Full five hundred with whoop and shout, 
Led by a black-souled renegade scout, 

Savage with hate and fierce for blood, 

Down they swept from the burning wood. 

Time there was none to wait or plan; 
Woman and child and youth and man 
Sped to the fort like a rising wind, 

Barred and bolted the gates behind. 

Hope is strong and God is good! 

Fair at his post each brave man stood; 

Forty and two were they counted out, 

And full five hundred devils without. 

Twice from the gate a handful brave 
Into the fire of the conflict drave 
A swath of death on their stormy track,— 

Of sixteen going not one came back. 

And in through cranny and crevice sped 
An arrow enters and one falls dead; 

Until of strength and of hope bereft, 

Thirty are taken and twelve are left. 


castle’s school entertainments 199 


Then, that horror the dregs should drain, 

Spent is the powder, grain by grain; 

The long day’s fighting but well begun, 

And the last charge rammed in the smo.king gun! 

The captain smote with his lifted hands: 

“Out in my cabin a full keg stands: 

But sixty paces between us lie,— 

How can I send one more to die!” 

Then to his side with cheek aflame 
Little Elizabeth softly came; 

Kin of heroes, living and dead,— 

“Man nor boy can be spared,” she said, 

“I will go out to the house instead.” 

Pleaded she well, till the bolts they drew; 

Swift as a vision she bounded through, 

Sped like a deer across the grass, 

And the Indians paused as they saw her pass,— 
Paused for a moment and left her go 
With never an arrow or tomahawk blow. 
—Through fear or favor who may know?— 

And each man seeing her held his breath, 

Till she ran through a silence deep as death. 
Never a foot to hers gave chase! 

She lifted the keg from its hiding-place, 

And staggering under the burden sore 
Into the sunshine came once more. 


200 castle’s school entertainments 

Then like a tempest of iron sleet 
Rained the bullets about her feet, 

Whistle of arrows arose and fell, 

And the loud woods roared with a roar of hell. 

But as if great Jehovah’s hand 

Bore her triumphant through shot and brand, 

With wild heart beating and cheek aflame 
Into the gate of the fort she came; 

And the desperate handful of fighting men 
Cheered till the forest rang again. 

And under the cloud of powder smoke 
Once more the voice of the bullet spoke 
Holding the terrible foe at bay,— 

And succor came down with the close of day. 

So was the fort by Wheeling saved! 

And so in letters of gold engraved 
While joy in daring, and pride remain, 

Shall live the name of Elizabeth Zane! 

—Mary Elizabeth Blake. 


HIS MOTHER’S SONGS 


Beneath the hot midsummer sun 
The men had marched all day; 
And now beside a rippling stream 
Upon the grass they lay. 




castle’s school entertainments 


Tiring of games and idle jests, 

As swept the hours along, 

They called to one who mused apart, 

“Come, friend, give us a song.” 

“I fear I cannot please,” he said; 

“The only songs I know 
Are those my mother used to sing 
For me long years ago.” 

“Sing one of those,” a rough voice cried; 

* 4 There’s none but true men here; 

To every mother’s son of us 
A mother’s songs are dear.” 

Then sweetly rose the singer’s voice 
Amid unwonted calm; 

“Am I soldier of the cross, 

. A follower of the Lamb? 

“And shall I fear to own His cause?” 

The very stream was stilled, 

And hearts that never throbbed with fear 
With tender thoughts were filled. 

Ended the song the singer said, 

As to his feet he rose, 

“Thanks to you all, my friends; good night, 
God grant us sweet repose.” 

“Sing us more,” the captain begged; 

The soldier bent his head, 

Then glancing ’round with smiling lips, 
“You’ll join with me?” he said. 


202 castle’s school entertainments 

“We’ll sing this old familiar air, 

Sweet as the bugle call— 

‘All hail the power of Jesus’ name, 

Let angels prostrate fall! ’ ” 

Ah, wondrous was the old tune’s spell, 
As on the singer sang; 

Man after man fell into line, 

And loud the voices rang! 

The songs are done, the camp is still, 
Naught but the stream is heard; 

But ah! the depths of every soul 
By those old hymns are stirred. 

And up from many a bearded lip, 

In whispers soft and low, 

Rises the prayer that mother taught 
The boy of long ago. 


FARMER STEBBINS AT THE BAT 


We got here safe, my good old wife and me, 

An’ then I strolled out to the Park, to see what 
I could see. 

Some fellows there was ptayin’ ball—an’ with a 
waggish smile 

One chap inquired of me if I wouldn’t like to play 
awhile; 




castle’s school entertainments 203 


For I’d made some remarks about the way the 
game was run, 

An^ maybe I’d take hold, he said, an’ show ’em 
how ’twas done. 

I used to play, some years ago, when youth still 
lingered near, 

Before three hundred pounds of flesh impaired my 
runnin’ gear; 

An’ so I said, “All right, I’m in; I’ll give the 
ball a whack, 

For I don’t like to have old age invite me to 
stan’ back;” 

An’ so I spoke up to ’m an’ said, with quite a 
limber tongue, 

“I’ll show you how we used to play when your 
old dad was young.” 

“Of course you’ll stan’ up to the rules?” the 
waggish chap inquired; 

“An’ will you pitch or catch?” Says I, “I’ll 
catch, if so desired.” 

An’ then they brought a muzzle out an’ strapped 
it to my head, 

To keep my mug from gettin’ scraped by some 
one’s bat, they said. 

But I didn’t mind; I says, “All right; just trim 
me up complete, 

Providin’ you don’t tie no wires aroun’ my hands 
nor feet.” 


204 castle’s school entertainments 

But when I caught their pesky ball, I yelled out 
with a groan, 

“Good sakes alive! I didn’t suppose you played 
it with a stone!” 

Then they all laughed, an’ says, “Of course this 
ain’t no two old cat! ’ ’ 

An’ laughed again, when I remarked, “I’m sen¬ 
sible of that; 

But when we used to play base ball we wouldn’t 
have thought ’twas smart 

To pelt each other with a chunk of old man 
Pharaoh’s heart!” 

Then they all laughed again, an’ said I’d better 
take the field; 

An’ I remarked, “I’m used to that” (a fact quite 
unconcealed); 

An’ so I toddled off, an’ stood, without a word 
to say, 

Until a “hot ball,” as they said, came purrin’ 
down my way. 

It landed somewhere on my frame, uncommon 
hard an’ square, 

An’ I laid down, reached up my han’s, an’ wildly 
clasped it there. 

An’ then they laughed an’ cheered an’ said I’d 
“caught it on the fly.” 

“I caught it on my stomach, if I’m any judge,” 
says I. 


castle’s school entertainments 205 

An’ then they laughed an’ cheered some more, an’ 
said, “Our side is in, 

An’ it is our turn at the bat, an’ your turn to 
begin.” 

An’ then I grasped the ball-club tight, an’ says 
unto them all, 

“I’ll show you how to treat a hard an’ unregen¬ 
erate hall.” 

The fellow that propelled the thing wouldn’t 
throw it square an’ straight; 

He’d make a sort of cow-lick kick, an’ pitch it 
like a quait; 

So when I struck, with my whole firm of muscle, 
brain, an’ heart, 

The fierce blow found the ball an’ club some sev¬ 
eral rods apart; 

An’ leanin’ up, an’ strikin’ ’gainst the atmosphere 
instead, 

Produced an unforeseen result, an’ laid me on my 
head. 

“One strike!” the fellow that they called the 
“empire” loudly cried. 

“It’s full as much as that,” I says, a-perchin’ on 
my side. 

“Play ball!” he shouted. An’ I says, “It ain’t so 
much like play 

As some things I have seen; but then, no matter, 
fire away!” 


206 castle’s school entertainments 

An’ so he fired; whereat the ball benumbed each 
finger’s-end, 

Then cuffed my sufferin’ ears, like some enraged 
maternal friend. 

“Foul!” shouted loud the empire; then, in accents 
loud an’ high. 

“You’re right again; it’s foul indeed, an’ painful 
too,” says I; 

An’ then, I thought, “I’ll wipe that ball half-way 
out of existence, 

Or lay right down here an’ expire, with mourners 
at a distance.” 

An’ straightenin’ back, I gave the thing a self- 
benumbin’ blow, 

An ’ sent it wobblin ’ through the air; an ’ then they 
shouted, “Go!” 

Now I was kind of turned around ’bout where I 
did belong, 

An’ nimble as an elephant, I struck my bearin’s 
wrong; 

I stood the emperor on his head, I run the catcher 
down, 

I barked my waggish friend’s left shin, before he 
turned me roun ’; 

An’ then he yelled, “Pick up your heels!” an’ 
fool-bewildered quite, 

I stopped an’ looked, an’ said, “They’re here! 
I’ve got ’em on all right!” 


castle’s school entertainments 207 


An’ then they laughed an’ cheered some more, an’ 
said, ‘ ‘ Go make your base! ’ ’ 

An’ off I went, with quickened breath, an’ heat- 
illumined face; 

I give no heed unto the world; but, thunderin’ 
straight ahead, 

Produced an earthquake in that Park by my resist¬ 
less tread; 

An’ then I stubbed my off big toe, an’ hadn’t 
time to rise, 

An’ rolled three-quarters of the way to my base, 
an’ surprise. 

“Out on a fly!” the emperor says, a brushin’ off 
his sleeve. 

“Out on a bender, I should think,” I says, pre¬ 
pared to leave; 

“This game has too much earnestness to make it 
play for me; 

It’s full of hardships for to do, however nice to 
see. 

The easiest way to play base ball, is to sit back 
an’ tell 

How things we never could have done could be 
done twice as well.” 


—Will Carle ton. 


208 castle’s school entertainments 

THE MEN OF GLOUCESTER 


On the tossing sea, the heaving sea, 

Shattered and spent we lay. 

The night had passed like a waking dream 
And the dawn broke cold and gray. 

The rain had ceased, but the fierce wind still 
Screeched through the rigging bare; 

And the cold spray stung as it swept aslant 
Like winged ice through the air. 

Over the bulwarks the great gray seas 
Did heave themselves, and break; 

And when they broke, ’twas pity to feel 
How the schooner’s heart did quake. 

And ever she cried and groaned, poor wretch, 
As only a vessel can. 

A womanish thing! but all the rest 
Were silent, master and men. 

There were twelve of us; for four had gone 
When the mainmast thundered down, 

Captain and mate, and ten men more, 

All out of Gloucester town. 

We thought of the town, as on we drove, 

We thought of. wife and child, 

And sometimes it seemed their voices came 

Through the tempest howling wild. 

Silent we lay, while death drew near 
On the wings of the freezing hail, 



castle’s school* entertainments 209 

When the captain raised his head and cried, 
“Look, lads! a sail! a sail!” 

And there, and plain in the sight of all, 

A gallant steamer hove, 

A right black line ’twixt the foam below 
And the whirling clouds above. 

Bravely she rode the plunging seas, 

Bravely she faced the storm; 

And each one of us felt his frozen heart 
Grow, sudden, light and warm. 

We looked where our signal flew aloft, 

The silent cry of the sea, 

And then our eyes on the steamer burned, 

But never a word said we. 

A stir on her deck! she had seen the flag, 

A clustering at her side! 

Her crew stood safe, and gazed at us; 

But the space between was wide. 

The space between was a boiling waste 
Of gray waves beaten white; 

Of swirling hollows fathom deep, 

And hissing foam-wreaths light. 

And if they would launch a boat, methought, 
What chance for a boat to live ? 

And where are the men, in such a sea, 

A life for a life to give? 

The wind it keened, and keened, and keened, 
Through the rigging stiff and bare; 


210 castle’s school entertainments 

And “Death!” and “Death!” and ever “Death!” 
Was the word ’twas crying there. 

Again a stir on the steamer’s deck. 

And another stir at her side; 

And a boat swung out, and hung aloft 
Above the whirling tide. 

Then e’en with my thoughts, our captain spoke, 
“What chance for that boat to live? 

What chance of saving our half-spent lives, 

If these men their brave lives give? 

“Now answer, men of Gloucester town! 

Shall we take this gift so free ? 

Shall we take these lives, from men that love 
Their life as well as we?” 

And “No !” we said. What should we say, 

Being men of Gloucester town?. 

And the captain raised his ice-stiff hand, 

And hauled the signal down. 

Then I closed my eyes; and we all, belike, 

Thought over a bit of prayer; 

And thought of home, and the old gray church, 
And the women kneeling there. 

And still the wind it keened and keened 
Through the frozen rigging bare; 

And “Death!” and “Death!” and ever “Death!” 
Was the word ’twas crying there. 


castle’s school entertainments 


A voice! a cry! my heart leaped up, 

I looked; and lo! the boat 

Rode lightly o’er the crested hills, 

The bravest thing afloat. 

And now she tossed aloft, aloft, 

And now she swooped below; 

But we saw the strong arms bent to work, 
And the faces atl aglow. 

We tried to raise a feeble cheer, 

But never a voice found we; 

The captain waved his stiffened hand, 
And we waited silently. 

Ah! not in vain that gallant crew 
Their lives so freely gave; 

Ah! not in vain that gallant boat 
Came leaping o’er the wave. 

For home, for home, across the foam, 

We now are sailing free, 

While gladly blows the favoring wind, 

And sunlit smiles the sea. 

Once more must fall the peaceful night, 
Once more must rise the sun, 

Before we see the gray old town 
That holds our hearts each one. 

All honor to the noble men 
Who risked their lives for ours; 


212 castle’s school entertainments 

Who, never flinching, set their hand 
Against the tempest’s powers. 

And yet—mayhap—some honor fell 
On ns of Gloucester town, 

Then, when the captain raised his hand 
And hauled the signal down. 

—Laura E. Richards. 


A FLAG ON EVERY SCHOOL-HOUSE 


Raise the flag on every school-house, 

Let it float upon the breeze. 

Sing aloud “The Spangled Banner,” 

As it rises o’er the trees. 

Tell the children all its story, 

On the land and on the sea. 

That its pet names are “Old Glory” 

And “The Banner of the Free,” 

That its red should e’er remind us 
Of the blood by martyrs shed, 

That we might live in Freedom’s land, 
After they were with the dead; 

That it‘s white our faith should strengthen, 
That the people’s cause is just, 

And no monarch e’er shall rule us 
But the God in whom we trust. 

That its blue for truth eternal, 

Like the azure blue above. 




castle’s school entertainments 


213 


E’er should keep us true and loyal 
And our nation’s honor love. 

Its stars shall lighten all the world 
And must prove to all who see 
That the people can be trusted 
With the boon of liberty. 

Its stripes mean justice sure to fall 
Upon all assailing foes; 

It waves proudly and defiant 
Against all who oppose. 

Float freedom’s flag in freedom’s breeze,— 
Starry banner that we love— 

From the prairies to the seaboard, 
Northern lake to orange grove. 

Raise the flag on ev’ry school-house, 

Let it float upon the breeze; 

Tell the children of its triumphs 
On the land and on the seas. 

Many thousand noble freemen 

Gave their lives to prove its worth. 

The only flag that despots fear— 

Freedom’s hope through all the earth. 

It knows no sect, no race, no clan, 

Schemes and plots it doth defy, 

To freedom’s storm-tossed, struggling ship 
It is a rainbow in the sky. 

Raise it high, mid spire and steeple, 

Let it glisten in the sun, 

It has no spot of shame to hide 
In all its victories won. 


214 CASTLE'S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 


Tell the children that its symbol 
Is a State for every star. 

Tell them its victorious record 
In days of peace and cruel war. 
Tell them it is theirs to cherish, 

That its stars must never set, 

And in future they’ll defend it 
If need be with the bayonet. 

Keep the flag on ev’ry school-house, 
With your ballots it defend. 
Learning and Freedom firmly join, 
Then our Union ne’er shall end. 
Let cheers arise unto the skies, 

Like great Niagara ’s roar, 

From the mountains of New England 
To Pacific’s golden shore. 


— Col. J. A. Joel. 


castle’s school entertainments 215 


PATENT MEDICINE CONVENTION 


Characters and Costumes 

Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup—Mother and babe. 
Babe represented by a large doll in night dress and cap. 

Sagwaw—Boy wrapped in bright blanket. Band about 
head with feathers stuck in it. 

Jayne’s Expectorant—Old-fashioned gentleman, long 
coat “buttoned down before;” old style tall hat, spec¬ 
tacles. 

Ayer’s Cherry Pectoral—Old-fashioned woman; cap 
with wide frill; spectacles. 

Little Early Riser Pills—Small girl in pretty night 
dress and cap; candlestick and candle, in hand. 

Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound—Dress in imi¬ 
tation of Lydia Pinkham’s familiar picture. 

Painkiller—Boy and girl. Any costume. 

Pink Pills—Small girl dressed in pink; wear pink 
hood; also small boy dressed in Uncle Sam style. 

Doctors—Several small boys. Let them squat upon 
feet, lean forward and hold arms back close against 
body. Swathe body in white cloth. Spruce little hats 
on heads would be an addition. 

Curtain rises on mother sitting in rocking chair rock¬ 
ing babe. 


Soothing Syrup. 

Air—“Watt’s Cradle Hymn” 

“Hush, my babe, lie still and slumber,” 
Mother’ll take you off to bed, 

While my “blessings, without number,” 
Fall on Mrs. Winslow’s head. 



216 castle’s school entertainments 


Long and lusty is your screaming, 

Many are the tears you weep, 

Till a dose of Soothing Syrup 
Sends you sweetly off to sleep. 

Hush, my babe, lie still and slumber, 
Mother’ll take you off to bed, 

While my “blessings, without number,” 

• Fall on Mrs. Winslow’s head. 

[Enter Sagwaw.] 

S a gw aw. 

Air—“Captain Jinks” 

A heap big medicine man am I, 

I deal in nature’s remedy, 

The white man’s blood to purify, 

And Sagwaw is my name. 

[Stands erect and dignified. Enter Expectorant.] 
Air—“Auld Lang Syne 
Jayne’s Expectorant. 

“Shall old acquaintance be forgot, 

And never brought to mind?” 

Just take the dose your grandpa took 
In “the days of auld lang syne;” 

In “the days of auld lang syne;” 

A dose of Jayne’s Expectorant 
In “the days of auld lang syne.” 

Your grandpa thought that it would cure 
All ills of human kind; 


castle’s school entertainments 217 


It’s just as good as it was then, 

In “the days of auld lang syne,” 

In “the days of auld lang syne;” 

We’ll take a dose as grandpa did, 

In “the days of auld lang syne.” 

[Enter Cherry Pectoral. Addresses Expectorant] 

Ayers' Cherry Pectoral. 

Air—“Auld Lang Syne” 

The age of Cherry Pectoral, 

I think, with your’s compares, 

Although I don’t expec-to-rant, 

Or even put on Ayer’s, 

Or even put on Ayer’s , 

Although I don’t expec-to-rant , 

Or even put on Ayer’s, 

We both have an ancestral tree 
That’s pretty hard to climb. 

Let’s shake a hand, in kindness yet, 

[They shake hands. Both sing.] 

To the days of auld lang syne; 

To the days of auld lang syne, 

Let’s shake a hand, in kindness yet, 

To the days of auld lang syne. 

[They step aside, hand in hand. Enter Little Early 
Riser.] 

Little Early Riser. 

Air—“Gay and Happy” 

I’m a little early riser, 

Bright and early, as you see; 


218 castle’s school entertainments 

And I’ll do my best to s’prise you 
If you will but list’ to me. 

So let the wide world wag as it will, 

Take an Early Riser Pill; 

Gay and happy, gay and happy, 

You’ll be gay and happy still. 

[Enter Lydia Pinkham.] 

Vegetable Compound. 

Air—“Sherman’s March to the Sea” 

Sing of Lydia Pinkham, now, a glad and grateful 
song, 

Sing it, all ye women she has helped make well 
and strong, 

Swell the grateful chorus, ye innumerable throng, 
Swell the glad song of thanksgiving. 

Chorus. 

Hurrah! hurrah! she brought the jubilee: 
Hurrah! hurrah! she set her sisters free: 

So we swell the chorus till it rings from 
sea to sea; 

Swell the glad song of thanksgiving. 
Vegetable Compound was the golden gift she gave 
To her sister women, whom she hoped to heal and 
save. 

Sing, oh all ye women she has rescued from the 
grave! 

Swell the glad song of thanksgiving. 

Chorus. 


castle’s school entertainments 219 


[Enter boy, doubled over, with hands on bowels. Goes 
through pantomime of great pain. Enter girl with bottle 
and spoon. She is much concerned about boy. Sings.] 

Painkiller. 

Air—Old Song—“Dear, dear, what can the matter 
be? Johnny’s so long at the fair” 

Oh dear! what can the matter be? 

Dear, dear! what can the matter be? 

Dear, dear! what can the matter be ? 

Bad case of colic, I guess. 

Now just let me give you a dose of Painkiller, 

Now just let me give you a dose of Painkiller, 

Now just let me give you a dose of Painkiller, 

It soon will relieve your distress. 

[Gives spoonful. Instant relief. Both sing.] 

Sing, sing, sing of a blessing free; 

Sing, sing when in distress you be; 

Sing, sing, sing of a blessing free, 

Painkiller frees you from pain. 

We promise, if once you will try our Painkiller, 

We promise, if once you will try our Painkiller, 

We promise, if once you will try our Painkiller, 

You won’t be without it again. 

[Enter little Pink Pills and little Yankee Doodle, hand 
in hand. Pink Pills sings.] 

Pink Pills. 

Air—“Yankee Doodle” 

I sing a song of pretty pills 
For people who are pale, sir: 


220 castle’s school entertainments 

No matter what may be your ills 
They’ll cure you without fail, sir. 

Chorus. 

[Pink Pills and Yankee Doodle raise clasped hands 
and step forward and back, in time to music, as they 
sing.] 

Yankee Doodle takes Pink Pills, 

Yankee Doodle dandy, 

For a fever, or the chills, 

Says they’re mighty handy. 

[Lower clasped hands. Pink Pills sings.] 

Mr. Crossman got so cross 
’Twas really a disgrace, sir: 

He took a box of our Pink Pills 
And wears a smiling face, sir. 

Chorus. 

Miss Samantha grew so lean, 

So yellow and all that, sir: 

She took to taking our Pink Pills, 

And now she’s fair and fat, sir. 

[As each singer surrenders the center of the stage to 
new comers let them arrange themselves in a group, 
with smaller ones in front. All sing.] 

Chorus. 

Air—Old Song—‘‘I’m going to be married, ah ha, 
mamma! ’ ’ 

The doctors don’t love us, oh ho, oh ho, 

The doctors don’t love us, oh no, oh no, 

And if they could shove us we’d all have to go, 
The doctors don’t love us, oh no, oh no.* 


castle’s school entertainments 221 

The doctors decoy us, alack! alack! 

Whenever they spy us they all cry, “Quack!” 
They always are quacking; now what is the use 
To always be quacking, just like a goose? 

[Sound of quacking behind scenes, at one side.] 

The doctors are coming, alack! alack! 

The doctors are coming, we hear them quack: 

The doctors are coming and we’re going to run. 
Now just see them waddle; oh ho, what fun! 

[Patent Medicines run from stage. Doctors appear, 
on opposite side, and waddle across stage after’ them, 
quacking. Curtain. 


Harriet D. Castle. 


222 castle’s school entertainments 


MOTHER GOOSE AND SANTA CLAUS 

They Give a Reception 

CHARACTERS. 


Little Bo-Peep. 
Jack and Jill. 
Cinderella. 

Prince. 

Dame Trot. 

Mother Hubbard. 
Mrs. Bells-on-Toes. 
Fiddlers Three. 


Mother Goose. 
Santa Claus. 

Little Boy Blue. 
Queen-of-Hearts. 
Red Ridinghood. 
Babes in the Wood. 
Jack Horner. 

King Cole. 


Old Woman-in-Shoe and Children. 
Frog-Who-Would-a-Wooing-Go. 

Costumes. 

Familiar Mother Goose costumes. 
Suggestions. 

The various gifts should be placed where Santa can 


reach them handily. 


Characters, after receiving presents, should group 
themselves in background, as size of stage and con¬ 
venience dictate. If a curtain is used it rises on 
Mother Goose and Santa Claus comfortably seated. 
If not let them come on the stage and seat them¬ 
selves. 


Scene. 


Mother G. —Well, Nicolas, I guess everything’s 
ready, so we’ll jest rest a bit. I feel real satisfied. 



castle’s school entertainments 


223 


The table looks real nice, an’ you can see your face in 
the pewter platters. The butter come good, an' the 
bread riz up light, an’ the cakes an’ pies are beautiful, 
ef I do say it myself. I never had better luck with 
the puddin’; an’ the goose is just done to a turn— 

Santa. —Hold on there, Madam! hold on! I’m 
afraid I can’t wait till the company comes if you keep 
on. A good Christmas dinner is made to be eaten, 
and you can’t be beat for getting one up. 

Mother G. —I’ll git you a bite ef you feel as ef you 
couldn’t wait. Is my cap on straight an’ my hair 
nice an’ smooth ? 

Santa. —You’re as neat as a pin, and as sharp and 
bright. 

Mother G. —Law, Nicolas, how you do go on. 
(Knock at door.) Well, I’m glad some one’s early. 
I always like to see folks on hand fer their meals. 
[Mother G. opens door. Enter Old Woman-Who- 
Lives-in-a-Shoe , flourishing a lunch of switches and 
driving a group of small children before her. One 
or two little tots hang on to her skirts. Children 
jump and dodge, as she hits them , rub knuckles in 
eyes, wipe eyes with aprons, make faces at her , etc.~\ 

Mother G. —Well, ef here ain’t the “Old Woman- 
Who-Lives-in-a-Shoe and has so many children she 
don’t know what to do!” Walk right in, you poor 
creeter you. Walk right in, you poor little dears. 
We’re just as “delighted to see you” as President 
Roosevelt would be. 

Santa (Shaking hands with Old Woman and chil¬ 
dren.) —How do you do, my good woman? How do 


224 castle’s school entertainments 

you do, my dears ? Bless your little hearts! “Fm 
delighted to see you!” Old Santa has a surprise for 
you. He’s going to give every one just what they ask 
.for; then everyone will be suited. 

Mother G. —Leastwise they’d ought to be. 

Children . —I want some candy! So do I! So do 
I! So do I! 

Old Woman. —Shet right up, you sassy little things 
you. I hope you’ll overlook it in ’em, sir. When a 
woman has so many to do fer she hain’t much time 
fer teachin’ manners. By the time she gits their faces 
washed an’ their hair combed an’ the bakin’ an’ 
mendin’ done she’s clear tuckered out. My last bak¬ 
in’ didn’t last no time; an’ if you’ll kindly give me a 
few loaves of bread an’ a jug of merlasses I’ll be 
much obleeged. 

Santa. —Certainly, my dear madam, certainly. 
Just have them sit down, somewhere, and we will give 
them something that will make their eyes shine. 

Mother G. —Come right over here,- dearies. [ Moth¬ 
er G. leads way. Children follow, rushing, scrambl¬ 
ing, and falling down. Old Woman switches .] 

Old Woman. —Now don’t behave like a passel of 
wild Injuns. I did hope you’d have a few manners 
when you was away from hum. 

Mother G —Children will be children, sister. 
[■Mother G. and Old Woman seal children. Santa 
gives children candy, and loaves of bread and jug of 
molasses to Old Woman. Children eat candy. 
Old Woman cuts bread and spreads with molasses. 
Children gaze, open-mouthed, at new arrivals. 


castle’s school entertainments 225 

nudge each other, giggle, etc. Old Woman admin¬ 
isters correction; takes one or two across knee and 
spanks with slipper. Keep up amusing pantomime. 
Sound of horn outside. Mother G. opens door. En¬ 
ter Little Boy Blue .] 

Mother G. —Bless your dear heart! Ain’t this my 
little Boy Blue ? 

Boy Blue. —Yes, mom. I blew my horn. 

Mother G. —He, he, he! Not the only one who 
blows their own horn. 

Santa (Shaking hands.) —Glad to see you, my 
fine little lad. And what would you like for a Christ¬ 
mas present, to-day. 

Boy Blue. —If you please, Mr. Santa, I’d like a nice 
pillow to put under my head. The hay seed is al¬ 
ways getting in my hair. 

Santa. —Boys often have worse things than hay 
seed in their heads now-a-days, son. However, every 
one is to have just what they ask for to-day. [ Gives 
pillow to Boy Blue, who settles himself for nap. 
Shoe children tickle him with straws. He slaps at 
them, sits up, rubs eyes, blows horn and goes to sleep 
again. Repeat. Old Woman catches Shoe children 
and switches them. Mother G. answers knock at 
door. Enter Queen-of-Hearts.] 

Mother G. —Sakes alive! if it ain’t the Queen-of - 
Hearts. Walk right in, your Majesty. We give you 
a hearty welcome. 

Queen-of-Hearts. —Thank you, dear Mother Goose. 

Santa. —Welcome, fair queen. If Santa wasn’t 
such an old fellow you’d soon be wearing another 


226 castle’s school entertainments 

heart on your sleeve. For what is our lovely queen 
wishing this merry Christmas time ? 

Queen-of-Hearts. —I hear that you have just pub¬ 
lished a Mother Goose Cook Book. I’d be delighted 
to have one. .1 want to try her recipe for making 
tarts. 

Santa (Presenting her with bootc.) —If any one 
could beat the Queen-of-Hearts at making tarts it 
would be Mother Goose. I wouldn’t like to decide 
between you. 

Mother G. —Maybe you wouldn’t find it so hard to 
do ef one of us was away. 

Santa (Aside, winking.) —Don’t she understand a 
fellow ? 

Mother G. —Step right over to my kitchen table. 
You’ll find all the ingregents an’ every thing handy 
an’ clean, ef I do say it myself. 

Queen-of-Hearts— Thank you. 

[.Mother G. answers rap at door. Queen-of-Hearts 
seats herself and reads cook book. Then busies her¬ 
self vjith baking utensils. Shoe children show inter¬ 
est. Enter Frog-Who-Would-a-Wooing-Go.'\ 

Mother G. —Dearie me! Come right in. Ain’t you 
most froze? 

Frog. —Yes, mom; I’m cold as a frog. * 

Santa. —Well, well, little man! Isn’t this a cold 
day for you to be out ? 

Frog (Laying hand on heart.) —My heart is warm, 
sir. As I lay, in the torpor of despair, I heard it 
whispered that Santa Claus was giving every one 


castle’s school entertainments 


227 


their heart’s desire. Give unto me a sweet song to 
sing when I go a-wooing. 

Santa. —Well, well, sonny; sorry to say that’s out 
of my line. If you’d asked for a drum, or a horn, or 
a jewsharp, or mouth organ, I’d have been all right. 
But here’s Mother Goose, the Queen of Song, she’ll 
give you one that would melt a frozen heart. 

Mother G. —Love songs ain’t jist in my line, but I 
reckon I might make one up for the poor leetle cree- 
ter. I’ll line it fer you, like Parson Goodwin used to, 
an’ you sing it arter me. [ Mother G. sings, in thin, 
quavering voice. Air: Captain Jinks: “A gallant 
Frog has come to woo.”] 

Frog (With hoarse voice and great effort.) —Ker- 
chug, ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-choo- 

Mother G. —You’ve caught the tune middlin’ good, 
but you don’t seem to catch the words. Let’s try the 
second line: “His velvet coat is green an’ new.” 

Frog. —Ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-choo— 

Mother G. —Dearie me! That ain’t much better, 
as I can see. Try this line: “His eyes are full of 
love for you.” 

Frog. —Ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-choo— 

Mother G. —Land sakes! .Well, try the last line: 
“An’ his collar right in fashion.” 

Frog. —Ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-ash-un. 

Mother G. —Well, I think you can manage the 
tune, but the words will need considerbul studyin’. 
I’ll write em down fer you. 

[Mother G. writes. Frog seems exhausted. Wipes 
face with red handkerchief.'] 



228 castle’s school entertainments 

Santa .— Don’t be discouraged, son. That’s a beau¬ 
tiful song; enough to melt the coldest heart. 

[.Mother G. gives Frog paper. He studies dili¬ 
gently, wipes facer and occasionally hums: “Ker- 
chug, ker-chug, ker-chug, ker-choo” or “Ker-chug, 
ker-chug, ker-ash-un! > Binging of bells at door. 
Mother G. opens if] 

Mother G. —Walk right in, Mrs. Bells-on-Her- 
Toes. I thought that was you a ringin’. 

Santa (Gallantly.) —Glad to meet the belle of the 
party. Have you an ungratified Christmas wish? 

Mrs. B. (Wiping eyes.) —Alas ! my faithful old 
white horse is dead. Could you, possibly, find me 
another ? 

Santa .— Certainly, certainly. I have one that will 
just suit you. Step this way. (Draws rocking horse 
from scenes.) Here’s just the thing. Warranted not 
to kick or run away; easy as a rocking chair. A 
woman or child can manage him. [Santa assists 
Mrs. B. to mount. She rocks. Knock at door. 
Mother G. answers it.] 

Mother G .— Well, I do say! Walk right in, dearies. 
[Enter Little Red Ridinghood , Babes-in-the-Wood, 
Jack Horner , Little Bo-Peep and Jack and Jill.] 

Santa .— Well, well, bless my heart! What a fine 
lot of children. "I’m delighted to see you.” And 
what would you like for a Christmas present? 

Jack .— Jill and I would like a new pail. Our old 
one got broken when we fell down hill. 

Santa .— That was a sad accident. I read an ac¬ 
count of it at the time. Here’s one that I warrant 


CASTLE r S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 


220 


not to break. [ Gives pail to Jack. Jack and Jill sit 
on inverted pail , Jack putting arm around Jill.'] 

Bo-Peep. —Dear Santa, could you give me some 
new coats f or my sheep ? Some heartless wretch has 
sheared them and the poor dears are just shivering. 

Santa. —Dm dreadful sorry, dear, but my coats are 
not “warranted to be all wool.” But Fll tell you what 
I’ll do. Fll give you a bottle of hair restorer. You 
just follow directions and they'll soon have fine new 
coats of their own. [. Bo-Peep reads directions. Shoe 
child steals her crook.] 

Red Ridinghood. —Please, could you give me some¬ 
thing good for grandma to eat ? She’s sick. 

Mother G. —Just run over to the Queen-of-Hearts, 
honey. She’s bakin’ tarts an’ I know she’d admire 
to send some to your grandma. [ Queen-of-IJearts 
fills basket and gives Red Ridinghood one for herself. 
She eats.] 

Babes-in-th e-Wood. —We’re the Babes-in-the-Wood. 
Will you please give us a blanket to cover us up with? 
The leaves keep blowing off. 

Santa. —You poor, dear babies, you! Here’s some¬ 
thing that will keep you nice and warm. [Gives 
small blanket.] 

Mother G. —Come this way, darlings. (Wraps 
them in blanket.) There, ain’t that comfortable? 
[Babes fall asleep. Shoe child pulls off blanket.] 

Santa. —And what would Master Jack Horner 
like? 

Jack H. —If you please, sir, I’d like a fat mince 


230 castle’s school entertainments 


pie, chock-full of plums, and a silver fork to pick ’em 
out with. 

Shoe Child. —Gimme one, too! 

Old Woman. —Shet up! Eat your bread an’ 
’lasses. [ Jack seats himself in corner, eats, pulls out 
and holds up plums. Mother G. answers knock at 
door.'] 

Mother G. —Walk right in, Cinderella. I’m glad 
to see you lookin’ so well an’ wearin’ a pretty dress. 

Santa. —And what does pretty Cinderella want to 
make her Christmas merry ? 

Cinderella. —Please, sir, have you any glass slip¬ 
pers ? I’ve lost one of mine. 

Santa. —Indeed, I have, and just a tit for your 
little feet. [Gives pair of white slippers. In mean¬ 
time Mother G. has admitted the Prince and now 
brings him forward.] 

Mother G. —An’ here is some one who will make 
your Christmas merrier yet. [Cinderella looks down, 
bashfully. Prince leads her aside, kneels and puts 
slippers on Cinderella's feet. Mother G. answers 
knock.] 

Mother G. —Come right in to the tire. Dame Trot. 
This cold weather must be powerful hard on your 
rheumatiz. 

Dame T. —Yes, dretful hard. 

Santa. —How do you do, Dame Trot? I’m always 
glad to meet old friends. And what can I do for 
you to-day ? 

Dame T. —I was a wonderin’, Nicolas, if you 
couldn’t give me somethin’ fer my rheumatiz ? 


castle’s school entertainments 231 


Santa. —I believe I have just the thing. Dr. 
Quack’s Rheumatic Exterminator. Try a bottle of it. 

Dame T. —Thank you, Nicolas. You’d ought to a 
been a doctor. [ Mother G. answers knock. Dame T. 
hobbles away, opens bottle and rubs hands , setting 
bottle on floor beside her. Shoe child tips it over. 
Dame T. hits child with cane.] 

Mother G. —Well', ef this ain’t Mother Hubbard! 
I hain’t seen you fer a long spell. 

Santa. —Another old friend. Glad to see you, glad 
to see you. And what would you like best, to-day ? 

Mother H. —If it’s all the same to you, I’d like a 
lot of bones, for my dog. 

Santa. —Ha, ha, ha! a bonus , eh ? 

Mother G. —You jest wait till arfter dinner an’ 
there’ll be any amount of nice fresh ones. 

Mother H. —Thank you, sister. You alius was a 
thoughtful critter. 

Santa. —What she can’t think of isn’t worth think¬ 
ing of. [ Sound of fiddles outside. Mother G. goes 
to door. Mother H. knits. Enter King Cole and 
Fiddlers Three.] 

Mother G. —Well, ef here ain’t King Cole, the jolly 
old soul, an’ his three fiddlers. ( Shakes hands.) Jest 
in time. I know the company would be divarsified 
with a leetle music. 

Santa (Shaking hands.) —Here’s a royal welcome 
for jolly King Cole and his celebrated musicians. 
Can I do anything to make y6u more fat and jolly? 

King C. (Bowing gallantly to Mother G.) —I’ll 
take dinner with Mother Goose, for the first, and I’d 


232 castle’s school entertainments 

feel jollier if these three rascals had new fiddles. Dis¬ 
cords in the family sort of hinder dijistion. Play a 
little and let Nicolas see if they ain’t about worn out. 
[Fiddlers make discordant sounds on violins. Santa 
puts fingers in ears. Children are frightened.'] 

Santa. — Hold on! hold on! It will do my heart 
good to relieve so distressing a case. [ Santa gives 
violins to fiddlers. They take off old hats and bow , 
then draw bows across strings producing sweet 
sounds.] 

Santa, — That’s fine! 

King C. (Flourishing pipe.) — Harmony is re¬ 
stored ! 

Mother G. — They might jest play, a leetle, while 
the company is walkin’ out to dinner. Come on. 
Dinner’s all ready an’ waitin’. 

[They march off stage } Santa and Mother G. lead¬ 
ing and Old Woman bringing up the rear , driving 
Shoe children before her. If desired they might go 
through with the evolutions of a march before pass- 
ing off.] 


—Harriet D. Castle. 


castle’s school entertainments 233 

MAKING SCHOOL PLEASANT 


“D’ye know, Misther O’Rafferty, I’m a good bit 
taken wid this idee of makin’- th’ schools as plisint 
as ye can for the childher.” 

“So am I; so am I,” responded O’Rafferty, as he 
adjusted the ashes in his dudheen with the tip of one 
little finger, “but it dipinds, Misther O’Hoolihan, on 
what ye call plisint. 

“Now, whin I was a bit of a lad I didn’t nade a-any 
curri-cu-lum to tell me what the ould masther mint 
whin he said: Tathrick O’Rafferty, if y’ll be pleased 
to stip up furninst this desk of mine I’ll indiver to 
make it plisint for ye.’ 

“An’ whin I wint up an’ accipted what was handed 
me, I ra-solved that whin I got big enough to vote 
I’d throw all th’ power of me in-floo-ence on the side 
of elictive shtudies. Ye see, O’Hoolihan, we had 
no choice in them days. Th’ boord laid down 
the coorses for us, an’ the tacher laid on wliativer 
ilse he found handy an’ could move.” 

“But don’t ye belave in stickin’t’ th’ three Rs?” 
inquired O’Hoolihan. 

“Bedad an’ I do, an’ I’m thinkin’ it wouldn’t hurt 
a great deal to make it the four Rs—readin’, ’ritin’, 
’rithmitic an’ roddin’. Though, as I say, mebby the 
fourth R should be made elictive—wid the a-ccint on 
the sicond syllable. 

“If th’ whole object of iddication is, as the poet 
says, to make the school a joy foriver, t’ cut out th’ 
‘boresome an’ disagreeable’ things, I think I could 



234 CASTLE'S SCHOOL ENTERTAINMENTS 

frame tip a curri-cu-lum that would force ye t ’ lick 
a lad t’ make him play hookey. 

“ ‘Beginnin’ wid th’ nixt term/ it would run, 
‘therein be no set rules for doin’ a-anything in this 
school. Those intindin’t’ favor us wid their prisince 
will please sind in a list of at most three things that 
it would delight tliim to git a little information on. 
For Childher livin’ more nor four blocks from th’ 
school auti-mo-beels will be furnished free by th’ 
board. School hours will be from tin t’ ’ilivin, an’ 
from two till three ivery week day ixcept Choosdays, 
Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. There’ll be an 
intermission of thirty minutes durin’ th’ mornin’ ses¬ 
sion, durin’ which ice cream an’ cake will be sarved in 
the school parlors. The long vacation will ixtind 
from the first of March to th’ thirty-first of September 
each school year. Our motto: “The chief purpose 
of iddication is to tickle th’ kids.’ ” 

“If yer goin’ to ixthract from school life all that’s 
‘boresome an’ disagreeable,’ O’Hoolihan, I don’t see 
how ye can dodge acceptin’ my curri-cu-lum. For 
unless there’s been a big change in the boys and girls 
since I wint t’ th’ ould log house, that’s about what 
th’ kids of to-day would call hnakin’ it plisint’ for 
thim. 

“Don’t force the childher t’ do a-anything. Let 
thim pick out what they like, what’s aisy and delight¬ 
ful for thim. Ivery thing in a dimocracy should be 
ilictive—even punishment. 

“Thrain a child in this way, an’, as ould Solomon 
says, whin he grows up he won’t be far from it.” 

— McE. 


castle’s school entertainments 235 


TABLEAUX 


Risen. 

Have a wide, deep doorway representing entrance to 
tomb. Three women ar© grouped at the door. One 
standing just within doorway, one hand grasping, the 
casing and the other raised to side of head. Second fig¬ 
ure kneels beside first with hands clasped tightly just 
beneath chin: side view. Third figure kneels, still 
lower, at other side of entrance, peering in, presenting 
back of head. She i& a little farther out, resting the 
hand toward the tomb on a large stone. She carries a 
shallow bowl under the other arm. All are clothed in 
loose raiment and have draperies over the head. Within 
the opening is the figure of an angel—a young man. 
Darken the outer room and burn red light back of door¬ 
way. 

Christmas Fairies. 

Tableau Yivant. 

If you have woodland scenery use it. Very small 
girls, in white. Skirts very short and full; long white 
hose; small wings. Sprinkle with silver glitter. Fairies 
trip in circle, to soft music. 

Burn red light. 

After Commencement 

Young girl, in fancy costume, carrying baskets and 
bouquets of flowers. She is accompanied by her father, 
who carries a light, fancy wrap, also flowers. Young 
girl’s face expresses animation and pleasure; father’s, 
pride and affection. 

The Druids. 

Use stage scenery representing forest if possible. 
Group of Druid Priests in flowing white robes. Kneeling 
figure of young girl in white draperies. Play music, in 
minors, softly. Burn blue light. 

The Missionary Box. 

Have a divan with a row of dilapidated dolls leaning 
against back. The more colored, Chinese, etc., the bet¬ 
ter. Have a cardboard above them bearing the inscrip¬ 
tion, in large letters, “The Heathen.” A group of little 
girls are kneeling around and packing a large pasteboard 
box. Dolls’ clothes and toys scattered about in con¬ 
fusion. —Harriet D. Castle. 



236 castle’s school entektainments 


HOW TO MAKE COMMENCEMENT 
SUCCESSFUL 


To imagine that the instructor’s lot in preparing and 
carrying out a successful Commencement program is 
a bed of roses, is a delusion, and as knowledge of the 
best methods in preparing the student for this impor¬ 
tant occasion is as necessary as in any other calling, 
a few suggestions to teachers or others having this 
work in charge, and the means of removing many of 
the difficulties that beset the one doing such work, may 
he found beneficial. 

To begin with, the instructor should give some gen¬ 
eral advice in regard to selection of composition sub¬ 
jects, what subject would in your opinion prove of most 
interest, why others would not, etc. The topics them¬ 
selves should, however, be left to the choice of the 
pupils, lest some get subjects in which they feel no 
interest and therefore of which they can make no suc¬ 
cess. Once they have chosen their subjects and written 
their essays, you should encourage them in their work, 
by being free and patient with your criticisms and char¬ 
itable with your help. Let them rewrite until they have 
their essays in correct shape. 

Now the graduate is ready to commit his oration to 
memory. Before so doing, you should take each pupil 
separately, go over his subject matter with him care¬ 
fully, explaining as you go along the need and place for 
emphasis, inflection and rhetorical pauses. Upon 
every one should be impressed the importance of mem¬ 
orizing his lines perfectly. It is the best to do away 
with prompting altogether. 

When this has been done, you are ready for individual 
rehearsals, of which each pupil should receive several. 
Call attention to defects in position, voice, etc., and 
when you criticise do so in a kind and courteous way 



oastle’s school entertainments 237 


so as not to injure the feelings of the pupil, but to inspire 
in him an ambition to improve. Mention, also credit 
wherever you observe any improvement, and commend 
the pupil on his progress. 

If the programs during the year be entirely in the 
hands of the President of the class and his assistant 
officers, under the overwatchful eye of the teacher (to 
keep the programs up to the standard of excellence), 
there will be need of but one full rehearsal, for young 
people soon adapt themselves to surroundings. If this 
method is pursued the bashful boy and girl gain assur¬ 
ance and will be able to take their place on the stage 
at the close of the year. But, if on the other hand the 
teacher alone has had charge of these exercises, it will 
be necessary to hold several class rehearsals, and may 
be found desirable to have the class offer suggestions 
and criticisms. These, of course, must be clothed in the 
kindest spirits, otherwise more harm than good will 
come of them. At the last rehearsal all pupils should 
be required to be on hand at an appointed hour, and 
the order of the program should be followed as though 
the regular exercises were being performed. 

A few heart-to-heart talks between yourself and the 
pupils may prove of great value. Decide on class motto, 
class colors, invitations, programs, decorations and what¬ 
ever else may be needed; impress upon them the im¬ 
portance of learning their parts, and that this occasion 
is considered a memorable event by their friends and 
the community in general, and therefore the desirability 
of making a creditable showing, the necessity of keep¬ 
ing in good physical condition, etc. 

Commencement day should be a day of rest prepar¬ 
atory to the exercises in the evening. All school duties, 
rehearsals, class meetings, etc., should be abandoned. 
The class should be assembled and in readiness about 
half an hour before the time to begin the program. See 
that ample accommodations, good ventilation, etc., are 


238 castle’s school entertainments 

provided for the audience. And as the fateful hour ap¬ 
proaches be calm and cheerful, and you will have bet¬ 
ter success. Remember that nervousness is contagious, 
and surely you wouldn’t want to spread the disease 
among your class. As the comfort of the audience has 
been assured, and all else is in perfect order, keep your 
mind on the Commencement Exercises and that alone. 

These are simple suggestions—almost too simple it 
may seem, to put on paper. Yet, I am sure, from ob¬ 
servation and .experience that there is a great deal of 
help in them; and if they are followed with such others 
as may have proved helpful, many of the trials attend¬ 
ant upon Commencement may be avoided and a success¬ 
ful program assured. 


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